Truth Seekers/Transcript

This is a transcribed copy of "Truth Seekers". Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.

''[The episode opens up to four monitors; the first one showing Blitzo and Moxxie outside Martha' s house, Moxxie then pushes Blitzo's gun causing him to shoot in the wrong direction in "Murder Family". Another showing Millie coming out of the ocean after killing the fish monster in "Spring Broken", another's showing Millie and Moxxie french-kissing while swinging on a rope in "C.H.E.R.U.B.", and on the fourth monitor is a shot of horses, which then zooms past them onto Blitzo, who's making a goofy face. Someone then points at Blitzo.]''

Agent One: Right there. This was the first sighting.

Agent Two: They are definitely from Hell. They must use this dark magic to cross over into our world... and they seem to be killing specifically-targeted people, but why?

Agent One: They always attack at random, all over the country. There's no way to predict where they'll show up next.

''[A loud clattering noise is heard from outside, followed by an angry cat sound. The two agents immediately glance over to a hole in the wall that is covered with small wood planks. Forming a little peek hole to the outside. They then see the source of all the racket, Blitzo outside on top of some trash bags and dumpsters looking around.]''

Agent Two: Ah well, that's convenient.

Blitzo: Shh! Remember, we can't be seen.

[Blitzo slams the dumpster door loudly, but then falls into a pile of trash bags.]

Moxxie: Pardon my word, sir. But you're currently being the loudest.

Blitzo: I said shush your dick sucking lips, Moxxie.

[Moxxie steps away from his boss for a short moment as the portal was opened, Moxxie was about to head towards the portal.]

Blitzo: Get down!!

''[Blitzo quickly grabs Moxxie towards the ground as a net zoomed by. Then, Agent Two reloads his weapon as Blitz looks behind him and sees Agent One jumps down with a rope from a building and in front of the portal.]''

Blitzo: Loona! Close it!

Millie: Wait! No!

''[When Moxxie saw the portal closed, he suddenly gets mad and fights the two agents while Blitzo hid. However, he was hit by a needle and falls to the ground.]''

Blitzo: Moxxie!

''[With quick thinking, Blitzo grabs Moxxie and runs away. He hits Agent Two as he kept on running as they were catching up.]''

Moxxie: I smell... Colors...

[Then, Blitzo stopped at a dead end with the agents got him cornered.]

Blitzo: Back off, you tuxedo wearing fucks!

''[They soon raised their weapons up. But just as Blitzo was about to fire, Agent Two pushed a button on her gun as he got shocked.]''

Agent One: I'd like to see the suits at corporate call us losers now, that was pretty badass.

Agent Two: Super badass.

''[Soon enough, he passed out. Meanwhile in Hell, Millie, with tears in her eyes was punching the wall multiple times. But soon she got on her knees.]''

Millie: Shit! Shit, shit, shit!

[Millie wailed with her head and hands on the ground.]

Loona: You uh... You okay there?

Millie: What're you doing sittin' there? The boys are in trouble, open it again.

Loona: Blitzo was using a total of zero euphemisms, innuendos, or swears that means it was serious, which means I don't open it until-

Millie: OPEN THE FUCKING PORTAL NOW!

''[A sequence happens, Loona zips a bag labeled "Blitzø's Emergen-C Bag", an angry Millie twirls and lifts a giant double axe with the 'M' in the I.M.P, and Loona quickly transforms to her human form with an owl in the background. The portal opens again, Millie flips and lands in a pose while Loona walks over the portal.]''

Millie: They aren't here...

''[Millie lets go of the axe and got to her knees again, beginning to cry. But stopped immediately as Loona lifts her up to bend down and sniffed to track where Blitzo and Moxxie went.]''

Loona: It smells like they went this way. Come on, let's find the dumbass twins.

''[Millie slips into the backpack and Loona picks up the axe and starts running towards the screen. Meanwhile, Moxxie starts waking up and starts looking around, the camera zooms out revealing that he and Blitzo are tied up. Moxxie panics and struggles to get out, while Agent Two grabs the light and pans it close to Moxxie's face.]''

Agent Two: Finally awake, huh, little fella. Your partner has been a while now.

Blitzo: Look, shitbag, it takes a lot to keep me down alright, I took a fuck ton of tranquilizers in the college I dropped out of. Also I've been strapped nipple first with a car battery, so I- oh okay.

[Agent One pans the light close to Blitzo's face.]

Agent One: Tell us, demon scum. Who do you work for? Satan?

[Agent Two grabs the light again and passes it to Agent One each question.]

Agent Two: How did you get to our world from the afterlife?

Agent One: Why are youse killing humans?

Agent Two: When did you show up here?

[The two agents stops passing the lights.]

Blitzo: Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there, bitch. First of all, we just woke up from a very nasty shock and I'm still fuckin' woozy, so I'm gonna request you fetch us some coffee before we into this. I mean everyone gets coffees in shitty movies with scenes like this, am I right. I want something iced, bitch. Mox?

[Blitzo turns his head around to Moxxie.]

Moxxie: I'll have a neopolitan cappuccino, more cappu than cino, make sure it's got no more than four ounces of milk the beans won't have the right texture other wise and make sure they spell my name correctly on the cup they always put "Foxy" or "Roxy", I hate that,. If you can't handle that, I'll have a Venti traditional Misto please use soy milk with two blond shots Affogato and Ristretto. I'd also love three vanilla pumps at the very bottom. Then, add the coffee after, then-

Agent One: Enough! We aren't getting youse coffee!

Blitzo: Wow, I was getting massive douche chills just there, Mox, congrats.

Agent Two: If we have to, we are willing to resort to torture methods to get answers out of you nasty hell beasts.

Moxxie: When you say "tortured" you mean physical or psychological? Physical seems counterproductive, we would likely tell you anything if it meant an end to the pain and you have no way of knowing what was true.

Blitzo: -Or we might like it too much. And then you got a whole new thing to deal with.

Agent One: What do you mean by that?

Blitzo: Oh, you're stupid, huh. I could work with stupid, Daddy Likey Dummy.

[Moxxie squirms in his chair trying to hold back his laughter but laughs anyway.]

Moxxie: Good one sir, Daddy likey-

Agent Two: You better stop laughin' at us.

[Agent One grabs Blitzo's collar and screams at the imp's face.]

Agent One: Yeah! You're the one's at our mercy!

Moxxie: It's hard to resist, I'm really sorry. I mean considering your approach thus far, you've had us tied up here, for what, hours? And you haven’t even had us confirm what exactly we are.

Agent Two: [leans down curious] What are you?

Moxxie: I'm a Virgo.

[Blitzo bursts out laughing.]

Agent One: Oh, a smart guy eh?

Agent Two: One more quip out of you and we'll shut you up!

Blitzo: Ohh, getting kinky.

[Both agents recoil in shock and horror.]

Agent One: WHAT?!? We ain't playing any of your vile demon games!

Blitzo: I mean, that's what it sounds like back there. You sickos.

Moxxie: [sarcastically] PLEASE, don't give them ideas sir.

Blitzo: Why not? I know the shit you're into- [Moxxie gets an embarrased look]

Agent One: STAAHP! We are NOT getting kinky wit youse!

Agent Two: Calm down, One! Don't let these monsters get to you!

Blitzo: [sees them walking away] Hey, aren't we going to get a phone call, bitch?

Agent One: Well, that entirely depends: Who you going to call, hmm?

Blitzo: Your fat mom, thanking her for a fat time!

Agent Two: Nice try, demon! His fat mom is DEAD! [One starts crying into his own arm]

''[The episode cuts to the exterior of the D.H.O.R.K.S. building Blitzo and Moxxie are trapped inside of. Two armed guards stand outside the entrance. Millie and Loona are hiding at the side of the building trying to sneak in.]''

Millie: This where they ended up?

Loona: I think so. Fuck, this looks intense. How are we gonna get in?

Millie: Lift me up to that vent! [Millie pints to a small vent above their heads]

''[Loona raises her hand and Millie climbs up, opens the vent and crawls into the building. She unlocks a side door from the inside and lets in Loona. They sneak through the halls trying to find Moxxie and Blitzo, when an unnamed D.H.O.R.K.S. guard sees them on the surveillance camera and sounds an alarm to alert the other guards of the trespassers.]''

''[Loona stops running, the camera moves toward the screen revealing a bunch of agents holding several Japanese firearms. An agent holding a naginata runs toward Loona and Millie and swings the spear to them. The girls ducks, avoiding the spear. Loona jumps swinging the axe, causing an agent to have his right leg sliced while Millie shots his head twice. Loona throws the axe to another agent's face, Millie climbs the body picks the ax and slices another agent in half. Loona runs into an agent with nunchucks, ready to kick but he avoids, she rolls and jumps to avoid him. An agent swings a kusarigama to Loona but Loona ducks, slicing the nuchuck guy in the neck instead. Millie sneaks up to a surprised agent and breaks his neck, he falls down face first. Loona grabs Millie and Millie grabs the axe, running to another set of agents. A door opens revealing an agent, alerting the other agents. The set of agents reveal their shuriken and throws them to the girls.]''

Millie: Throw me!

Loona: [Grunts]

''[She throws Millie into a group as a door closes behind her labeled CAUTION BLAST DANGER. Screaming sound effects. The door lifts to show Millie surrounded by corpses and blood-spatter.]''

Loona: Damn, you're pretty agile for an old lady.

Millie: I'm like 5 years older than you.

[Episode cuts back to Blitzo and Moxxie, Blitzo is making a blep face at Agent 1.]

Agent One: Stop insultin' my mother, she's dead!

Agent Two: Hey, hey, let's just leave them here until they feel like talking.

''[The two agents exit the room, slamming the door behind them. Blitzo immediately tries to get out of his bonds but can't.]''

Blitzo: [sighs] Don't worry Mox, if we keep being obnoxious they'll eventually slip up and we'll get a chance to get out. Let's just keep fucking with them until they get so frustrated they stop thinking clearly. It usually works.

[as Blitzo speaks it zooms out until it is coming through a recording as Agents One and Two watch on the screen.]

Agent 1: Hmm, so the demons wanna play games, huh? well we can play games [laughs]

''[Agent 2 hits a button between "Haha Gas" and "Bitch Juice" as she lifts her fist the button is glowing a bright green and labeled "truth bomb". Agent 2 joins in the laughter.]''

Agent 2: Yeah.

''[Scene switches back to Moxxie and Blitzo. Blitzo is still struggling against his ropes trying to get out.]''

Moxxie: I'm just worried about Millie; she'll be on her way by now, I'm sure.

Blitzo: Ugh, she'll be fine Moxxie. It would take a roided up hippo to take down that woman when she's upset.

Moxxie: We've never dealt with the human government before, she's in danger.

[As he speaks green gas begins filling the room]

Blitzo: Do you ever honestly shut up about Millie? It's always "oh hows Millie?", "I can't tonight, I'm hanging with Millie." "I'm so worried about Millie." And she's always five fucking feet away from you, it's pathetic!

Moxxie: That was oddly personal.

Blitzo: You know what you're right. I don't know why the fuck I let my guts spill like that.

[Moxxie now notices the green gas surrounding the two of them.]

Moxxie: Sir! They're filling this room with something!

Blitzo: Fuck! The hell is this?

Moxxie: I think it's some kind of airborne truth telling serum.

Blitzo: Oh you just guess that's what it is?

Moxxie: well, uh, just ask me something specific I wouldn't normally tell you.

Blitzo: Okay uh, does Millie ever peg you?

Moxxie: Sometimes, wait ew fuck, why that?

Blitzo: Heh, I knew it.

Moxxie: Well your suit is tacky! Fuck, I'm sorry.

Blitzo: [gasps] How fuckin' dare you! You have shitty taste in music! I'm sorry!

Moxxie: Shit taste? you said you liked that musical I recommended to you!

Blitzo: I lied, I left half way through.

Moxxie: You- you said you loved it!

Blitzo: It was awful Moxxie, it was about ugly horny cats!

''[They both begin wailing. Once again the scene zooms out into them being watched by One and Two again.]''

Blitzo: Oh god Moxxie, I've said so many lies to you.

Agent 2: This is gonna be a good night!

''[View switches to a vent pumping more gas into the room. Blitzo coughs and we switch to a POV shot we watch as the room wriggles and distorts. He shakes his head and turns back to face Moxxie.]''

Blitzo: Damnit Moxxie this is all your fault!

Moxxie: How is this my fault?

''[A musical trill. The sound of wind. The ropes fall away from Moxxie and he walks forwards into purple fog. As he walks into the fog the art style begins to subtly shift into something more disney-esque. Organ music begins to play.]''

Moxxie: Blitzo? [he coughs] I- I can't see you. God this smells awful! What's that music? Is that you? Is this a prank, because I swear to Satan -

[he talks directly to the camera as he talks to the camera we see a figure above and behind him. The two are facing away from each other. The other figure is Blitzo dressed like the Phantom of the Opera]

Blitzo [speaking in a slightly deeper octave than we normally hear him in] : It is no prank, bitch!

Moxxie: Hey! Why do you sound like that?

Hallucination!Blitzo: Because you my precious little bitch boy-

Moxxie: Stop it, Sir.

Blitzo: -are tripping balls!

[The shiny organ pipes act as a spotlight and points to Moxxie as he begins to sing]

Moxxie: ♫ How could this be? I've never tried acid, shrooms, or DMT(sp?)! It's a bad trip! Oy Gevault! Of course, Blitz, this would be your fault! [A close up on Hallucination!Blitzo's gloved fingers as he plays the organ. The camera goes back to Moxxie] My lungs are full of honesty, would you promise me that you won't judge? ♫

Hallucination!Blitzo: ♫Yes, Bitch! ♫[he dramatically plays the organ.]

Moxxie: Not trying to divulge too much, but I'm in too deep so first of all: Fuck You!

Hallucination!Blitzo: What?

Moxxie: This is all just typical well two can play at this game of dismay 'cause if you're here causing frustration I'm torturing you and your hallucination!

[the scene switches we are now inside Blitzo's Hallucination - the style has shifted to be more early animation - rubber hose? The symbol on his his forehead isn't the one normally there but is instead a broken heart. He is wearing a clown outfit. Drums and electric guitar sound, 3 swirls of sludge in pink black and brownish-red float around him. The red sludge screams and covers Blitzo in slime. He focuses on his hands covered in the red sludge. He sniffs and licks it. The red sludge comes up behind him screaming and frightening him. Blitzo stumbles and falls down. The sludge turns into doodle!Moxxie a la the spring broken plan segment.]

Doodle!Moxxie: I simply follow your orders, it isn't my fault if your orders are as nonsensical as a sun tanning bed left out on the cold rainy porch of a fresh [unintelligible]

Blitzo: Why are you talking like that? What the fuck does that even mean?

Doodle!Moxxie: I am simply speaking satan's plain English - perhaps you should crack open a dictionary some time? and then maybe you can understand half of the frivolous things I carry on and on about on my [the music gets louder drowning out Doodle!Moxxies words. As he is speaking he flickers back and forth between standard Moxxie and doodle Moxxie. The camera zooms out to Blitzo looking up at the 3 sludges circle around them.]

Blitzo: Shut up!

[We switch back to Moxxie's Hallucination]

Moxxie: Why do you hurt me so?

Hallucination!Blitzo: I know!

Moxxie: Why must you push your friends away

Hallucination!Blitzo harmonizes: I push my friends away

Moxxie: Why does it seem like a recurring theme that you alienate with your toxic routine?

Hallucination!Blitzo: I don't know eventually everyone goes!

Moxxie: Cause you're thoughtless, and cruel and you'll end up alone!

[The camera focuses in on Hallucination!Blitzo's mask covered eye - he looks shookth. We switch back to Blitzo's hallucination.]

Doodle!Moxxie: In fact, my dear boss, you don't know what you are doing half the time, and you depend on me and the Misses to manage your foolish flights of fancy.

Blitzo: I don't need you, I can do this shit on my own so easily!

[The sludge grabs him and throws him on the ground it forms a new person in Blitzo's hallucination: Striker.]

Hallucination!Striker: But'cha don't wanna do things alone, do ya Blitzo?

Hallucination!Fizz: you tried the solo act, it didn't work out so well [Laughs like a distorted robot].

[Hallucination Fizz winds him up and throws him to the ground. Hallucination Verosika, emerging from being covered in sludge, crawls towards him]

Hallucination!Verosika: Did you still shove away anyone who gets too close, till they resent you for being a selfish shitty shithead? [her voice is highly warped and distorted. Blitzo gets up and runs away up a staircase that appears covered in black gloop.]

[Blitzo turns around to see the mud turning into pristine white stairs with golden railings. There are falling shiny feathers that are cleaning the mud. Blitzo trips and looks up where Stolas is sitting on a throne at the top the stairs, getting fanned by Blitzo's silhouette.]

Hallucination!Stolas: [voice-over] Are you afraid to love people, Blitzy?

[The fans flapped and the camera zoom in to Stolas who grins at Blitzo. Blitzo climbs the stairs on his knees. Golden feathers on his wrists turns into golden shackles and his clown costume turns into his suit.]

Hallucination Doodle!Moxxie: I believe your self-conscious is trying that you simply cannot fathom proper intimacy but also crave it as well, it's rather unfortunate as well. Considering it's how you treat those who stand by you such as myself-.

[As Hallucination Doodle!Moxxie keeps talking, Blitzo is almost to the top, a golden shackle wraps around his neck attached golden chains. Stolas pulls the chains closer to him and grins mischievously. The three previous hallucinations is shown again all turn into sludge again and Doodle!Moxxie turns into his normal style but wears a purple dress]

Moxxie in a dress: -Are you worried that one day, I may have enough of it as well?

Blitzo: Stop fucking talking, all of you!

[Moxxie gets angry and closes his fan and vanishes to gold sludge. The scene cuts to Blitzo and Moxxie drooling in the interrogation room with 2 looking at them.]