Truth Seekers/Transcript

This is a transcribed copy of "Truth Seekers". Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.

''[The episode opens up to panning shots of four monitors. The first shows Blitzo and Moxxie outside Martha' s house, Moxxie then pushing Blitzo's gun causing him to shoot in the wrong direction in "Murder Family". The second shows Millie coming out of the ocean after killing the fish monster in "Spring Broken", the third shows Millie and Moxxie French-kissing while swinging on a rope in "C.H.E.R.U.B.", and the fourth shows a shot of horses, which then zooms in past them onto Blitzo, who's making a goofy face. Someone then points at Blitzo.]''

Agent One: Right there! This was the first sighting.

Agent Two: They are definitely from Hell. They must use this dark magic to cross over into our world... and they seem to be killing specifically targeted people. But why?

Agent One: They always attack at random, aaaaaaall over the country. There's no way to predict where they'll show up next!

''[A loud clattering noise is heard from outside, followed by a stock angry cat sound. The two agents immediately glance over to a barred-up window obscured by heavily damaged blinds. Agent Two makes a gap between the blinds to the outside to see what made that noise. The agents then see the source of all the racket: Blitzo, standing on a box and a dumpster while holding the dumpster lid open. He looks around suspiciously.]''

Agent Two: Ahhh, well... That's convenient.

[Cuts to Blitzo outside, standing on trash bags and holding a dumpster lid open.]

Blitzo: Shhhhh! Remember, we can't be seen.

''[Blitzo slams the dumpster lid loudly, but then falls backwards into a pile of trash bags. Millie softly chuckles at his predicament, then walks away.]''

Moxxie: Pardon my words, sir, but you're currently being the loudest.

[Blitzo jumps up out of the garbage pile covered in trash; he has an old newspaper on his forehead, a half-eaten lollipop stuck to the side of his head, a scrap of paper on his horn with an old banana peel impaled on the end of it, and a used condom on his index finger, the same finger he uses to poke Moxxie's face indignantly.]

Blitzo: [softly] I said shhhhush your dick-sucking lips, Moxxie!

''[Moxxie steps away from his boss for a short moment, likely grossed out from Blitzo's condom finger, as he notices a portal opening behind him. Loona is seen on the other end and Millie jumps into it, waving to Moxxie. Moxxie begins to walk towards the portal but is suddenly tackled to the ground by Blitzo, barely missing a net being shot their way.]''

Blitzo: GET DOWN!

''[Agent One cocks his net launcher, readying another capture net. Blitzo looks behind him and sees Agent Two jump down on a rope from a building, landing in front of the portal.]''

Blitzo: LOONA!! CLOSE IT!!

Millie: Wait, no! [tries to run through the portal before it closes, but fails]

''[Moxxie, seeing the portal close, is distraught at first but quickly shifts to angry, pulling out a pistol in an attempt to fight off the two agents while Blitzo hides. He jumps off a wooden pallet to dodge both a tranquilizer dart and a capture net and prepares to fire. However, he is hit in the neck from behind by a tranquilizer dart.]''

Moxxie: [stumbles, mumbling incoherently, then falls to the ground]

Blitzo: MOXXIE!

''[With quick thinking, Blitzo grabs Moxxie, knocking down the trash can he was hiding behind, and runs away. He smacks Agent Two in the face with Moxxie and keeps on running through the alleyway.]''

Moxxie: [slurred] I smell... [sniffs] colors...

''[Blitzo reaches a dead end and the agents waste no time in cornering him. Blitzo raises his gun, ready to fight.]''

Blitzo: Back off, you tuxedo-wearing fucks!

''[Blitzo and the agents both ready their guns and prepare for a firefight. But just as Blitzo is about to fire, Agent Two pushes a button on her gun, causing Blitzo and Moxxie to be electrocuted. Moxxie is shocked out of Blitzo's grip and Blitzo suffers from residual charge, dropping his gun and going down for the count. The agents are then seen through Blitzo's eyes.]''

Agent One: [chuckles confidently] I'd like to see the suits at corporate callin' us losers now! That was pretty badass.

Agent Two: Super badass!

''[Soon enough, Blitzo passes out. Meanwhile in the I.M.P. office, Millie angrily punches the wall multiple times, tears in her eyes and making vicious demon screeches, before falling to her knees devastated.]''

Millie: SHIT! Shit, shit, shit!

''[Millie wails with her head and hands on the ground. Loona stands behind her with Stolas' Grimoire in her hands, looking concerned.]''

Loona: You, uh... You okay there?

[Millie suddenly stands up, startling Loona into dropping the Grimoire and holding her hands up defensively.]

Millie: What're you doing sittin' there?! The boys are in trouble! Open it again!

Loona: Blitzo was using a total of zero euphemisms, innuendos, or swears. That means it was serious, which means I don't open it until--

[Millie, consumed by rage and worry for her husband and boss, grabs Loona by her shirt and yanks her down to face level.]

Millie: [furious] OPEN THE FUCKIN' PORTAL NOW!!

''[Cuts to a sequence of Loona and Millie gearing up for a rescue mission. Loona zips a bag labeled "Blitzø's Emergen-C Bag" closed, an angry Millie twirls and lifts a giant double axe with the 'M' in the middle, and Loona transforms to her human form with a wolf howl in the background. The portal opens again, and Millie leaps out and lands in a pose while Loona nonchalantly steps through.]''

Millie: They aren't here...!

''[Millie drops her axe and falls to her knees again, tears welling in her eyes. Before she can cry, Loona suddenly grabs and lifts her up, bending down to sniff the ground to track where Blitzo and Moxxie went.]''

Loona: It smells like they went this way.

[Loona drops Millie into the backpack and slings it onto her back, then grabs Millie's axe off the ground, resting it on her shoulder.]

Loona: Come on... let's find the Dumbass Twins.

''[Loona starts running towards the screen while carrying Millie. Meanwhile, in an unknown location, Moxxie wakes up and looks around groggily. The camera zooms out revealing that he and Blitzo are tied down to chairs. Moxxie panics and briefly struggles to get out, until Agent Two grabs the lamp over their heads and brings it close to Moxxie's face, causing him to flinch away.]''

Agent Two: Finally awake, huh, little fella? [release the lamp] Your partner has been a while now.

[The camera zooms out to reveal that not only are Blitzo and Moxxie tied to chairs, but their tails are wrapped together and chained to an iron ball.]

Blitzo: Look, shitbag, it takes a lot to keep me down, alright? I took a fuck-ton of tranquilizers in the college I dropped out of. Also, I've been strapped nipple first to a car battery, so I- [flinches as the lamp is shined in his face by Agent One] Ohhh, okay!

Agent One: Tell us, demon scum! Who do you work for? Satan?!

''[Agent Two grabs the light again. They begin grabbing it back and forth as they interrogate the two Imps.]''

Agent Two: How did you get to our world from the afterlife?

Agent One: Why are youse killin' humans?!

Agent Two: When did you show up here?

[The two agents stop passing the lights as Blitzo interrupts them.]

Blitzo: [annoyed] Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there, bitch. First of all, we just woke up from a veeeery nasty shock. And I'm still feelin' fuckin' woozy, so I'm gonna request you fetch us some coffee before we get into this. I mean, everyone gets coffee in shitty movies with scenes like this, am I right? I want somethin' iced, bitch! [turns his head around to Moxxie] Mox?

Moxxie: I'll have a Neapolitan cappuccino, more cappu- than -ccino, make sure it's got no more than four ounces of milk; the beans won't have the right texture otherwise, and make sure they spell my name correctly on the cup--they always put "Foxy" or "Roxy"; I hate that. If you can't handle that, I'll have a Venti traditional misto. Please use soy milk with two blond shots affogato [points foot accusatorily at Agent Two] AND ristretto! I'd also love three... vanilla pumps at the very bottom. then add the coffee after, then--

Agent One: ENOUGH! We aren't getting youse coffee!

Blitzo: Wow. I was getting massive douche chills just there, Mox. Congrats!

Agent Two: [leans up close to Moxxie's face] If we have to, we are willing to resort to torture methods to get answers outta you nasty hell beasts!

Moxxie: When you say "torture", do you mean physical or psychological? Physical seems counterproductive; we would likely tell you anything if it meant an end to the pain, and you would have no way of knowing what was true.

Blitzo: Or, we might like it too much. And then you've got a whole new thing to deal with.

Agent One: [points accusatorily at Blitzo] What do you mean by that?

Blitzo: Ah, you're stupid, huh? I can work with stupid. Daddy likey dummy.

[Moxxie squirms in his chair trying to hold in his laughter, but laughs anyway.]

Moxxie: [laughing, stomps his hoof on the floor] Good one, sir! Daddy likey--

Agent Two: You better stop laughin' at us!

Agent One: [grabs Blitzo by the collar] Yeah! [pulls an amused Blitzo closer] YOU are the ones at our mercy!

Moxxie: It's hard to resist, I'm really sorry. I mean, considering your approach thus far, you've had us tied here for what, hours? And you haven’t even had us confirm what exactly we are!

Agent Two: [leans down curious] What are you?

Moxxie: I'm a Virgo.

Blitzo: HAAAA!

Agent One: Ohhhhh, a smart guy, eh?!

Agent Two: One more quip outta you and we'll shut you up!

Blitzo: Ooh, getting kinkyyyy!

[Both agents recoil in shock and horror.]

Agent One: WHAAAAT?!? We aren't playin' into your vile demon kinks!

Blitzo: I mean, that's what it sounded like back there, you sickos!

Moxxie: [sarcastic] Please don't give them ideas, sir!

Blitzo: Why not? I know the shit you're into!

[Moxxie gets an embarrassed look.]

Agent One: STAAAAHP! We are [leans towards Moxxie, pointing] NOT gettin' kinky wit youse!

[Agent Two grab Agent One and pulls him back.]

Agent Two: Calm down, One! Don't let these monsters get to you!

Blitzo: [sees them walking away] Heyyyy, aren't we gonna get a phone call, bitch?

Agent One: Well, that entirely depends! Who are you gonna call? Hmmm?

Blitzo: Your fat mom, thankin' her for a fat time!

Agent Two: Nice try, demon! His fat mom is DEAD!!

[Agent One starts crying into his own arm.]

''[The episode cuts to the exterior of the D.H.O.R.K.S. building Blitzo and Moxxie are trapped inside of. Two guards armed with naginata stand outside the entrance. Four security cameras loom over their heads. Millie and Loona peek around the side of the building, looking for a way to sneak in.]''

Millie: This where they ended up?

Loona: I think so. Fuck, this looks intense. How are we gonna get in?

Millie: [sees a small vent over their heads and points at it] Lift me up to that vent!

''[Loona raises her hand and Millie climbs up, opens the vent and crawls inside. She opens the side door from inside the building and lets Loona in. They sneak through the halls trying to find Moxxie and Blitzo, completely unaware as an unnamed D.H.O.R.K.S. guard sees them on the surveillance camera. He spits out his coffee in surprise--unintentionally soaking another guard--and sounds an alarm to alert the other guards of the trespassers.]''

''[Loona screeches to a halt. The camera moves toward the screen revealing a bunch of agents holding several Japanese melee weapons. An agent holding a naginata runs toward Loona and Millie and swings it at them. The girls duck, avoiding the blade. Loona jumps, swings the axe, chopping off an agent's leg while Millie shoots him twice with twin pistols. Loona throws the axe at another agent's face where it sticks. Millie climbs the agent's body and removes the ax from his head, jumps to avoid yet another guard's katana swing, then chops the katana-wielding agent in half vertically. Loona runs into an agent with twin nunchaku and attempts to split kick him, but he avoids it. She then rolls back and jumps to avoid his strikes. An agent swings a kusarigama to Loona but Loona ducks low to the ground, decapitating the nunchaku guy instead. Millie sneaks up to the now-surprised kusarigama-wielding agent and snaps his neck, and as he falls to the floor face first Loona grabs Millie who then grabs the axe from the floor, running towards another set of three agents.''

''[Cuts to said agents. One agent hits a button attempting to stop the demon women by closing the blast door on them. The other two reveal their shuriken and proceed to throw them at the girls, though they miss entirely.]''

Millie: Throw me!

Loona: [throws Millie, grunting]

''[Holding her axe in front of her, Millie flies toward the group of agents, landing with a roll just as the blast door labeled "CAUTION BLAST DANGER" closes behind her. Screams of pain can be heard as Millie slaughters them off-screen. The blast door opens back up to show Millie surrounded by dismembered corpses and blood splattered on the walls and ceiling.]''

Loona: [walks into the room, impressed] Damn! You're pretty agile for an old lady!

Millie: I'm, like, five years older than you.

''[Cuts back to Blitzo and Moxxie. Agent One yells at Blitzo while he responds by making a goofy blep face at him.]''

Agent One: STOP INSULTIN' MY MOTHER! She's DEAD!!

Agent Two: Hey, hey. Let's just leave them here until they feel like talkin'.

''[The two agents exit the room, slamming the door behind them. Blitzo glances at the door just to be sure, then immediately tries to struggle in his bonds for a couple second before giving up.]''

Blitzo: [sighs] Don't worry, Mox. If we keep being obnoxious, they'll eventually slip up and we'll get a chance to get out. Let's just keep fuckin' with them until they get so frustrated, they stop thinkin' clearly. It usually works.

''[As Blitzo speaks, the camera zooms out until it is looking at a video feed of him and Moxxie, Blitzo's audio degrading to add to the effect. Agents One and Two watch them through the screen.]''

Agent One: Hmmm! So the demons wanna play games, huh? Well, we can play games...

''[Agent Two chuckles and hits a button between "HAHA GAS" and "BITCH JUICE". As she lifts her fist, the camera zooms in on the button, now glowing a bright green and is revealed to be labeled "TRUTH BOMB".]''

Agent Two: Heh! Yeaaaaah.

''[Cuts back to Moxxie and Blitzo. Blitzo is still struggling against the ropes to no avail.]''

Moxxie: I'm just worried about Millie. She'll be on her way by now, I'm sure!

Blitzo: Ugh, she'll be fine, Moxxie. It would take a roided-up hippo to take down that woman when she's upset.

Moxxie: We've never dealt with the human government before! She's in danger!

[As they speak, a green gas begins filling the room.]

Blitzo: [suddenly angry] Do you ever honestly shut up about Millie?! It's always [mockingly imitates Moxxie] "Oh, how's Millie?" "I can't tonight. I'm hangin' with Millie!" "I'm so worried about Millie!" And she's ALWAYS... FIVE FUCKIN' FEET away from you! It's pathetic!

Moxxie: That... was oddly personal.

Blitzo: [surprised] Y'know, you're right! I don't know why the fuck I just let my guts spill like that.

[Moxxie glances at the floor and sees the green gas surrounding the two of them, eyes widening in fear.]

Moxxie: Sir! They're filling this room with something!

Blitzo: Fuck! [sniffs] The hell is this?

Moxxie: I think it's some kind of airborne truth-telling serum!

Blitzo: Oh, you just guess that's what it is?

Moxxie: Well, uh... Just ask me something specific I wouldn't normally tell you.

Blitzo: Okay. Uh... does Millie ever peg you?

Moxxie: [smiles at the thought] Sometimes. [eyes widen in realization] Wait! EWW! Fuck! Why that?!

Blitzo: Heh! I knew it.

Moxxie: Well, your suit is tacky! [flinches in regret] Fuck! I'm sorry.

Blitzo: [gasps dramatically] How fuckin' DARE you! Youuu have shitty taste in MUSIC!! [flinches in regret] AH, I'm sorry!

Moxxie: "Shit taste"?! [tears up] You said you liked that musical I recommended to you!

Blitzo: I lied! I left halfway through!

Moxxie: You... You said you loved it!

Blitzo: [in tears] It was awful, Moxxie! It was about ugly, horny caaaaats!

''[Moxxie starts crying hysterically. Once again, the scene zooms out into them being watched by Agents One and Two again.]''

Blitzo: [tears flowing] Oh, God, Moxxie! I've said so many lies to you!

Agent Two: [chuckles] This is gonna be a gooood night!

''[View switches to a vent pumping more of the gas into the room. Blitzo coughs and we switch to a POV shot we watch as the room wobbles and distorts, changing into something else. He shakes his head and turns back to face Moxxie angrily.]''

Blitzo: Dammit, Moxxie! This is all your fault!

Moxxie: HOW IS THIS MY FAULT?!

''[A musical trill and the sound of wind are heard. Moxxie stands up, the ropes falling away from him, and he walks forwards into purple fog. As he walks into the fog, the art style subtly shifts into something more Disney-esque and Moxxie's outfit has changed into something classically appropriate. Organ music begins to play as Moxxie looks around in confusion.]''

Moxxie: Blitzo? [coughs] I- I can't see you! God, this smells awful! What's that music? Is that you? Is this a prank? Because I swear to Satan--

''[Moxxie's rant is interrupted by a figure behind him standing at an organ at the top of a staircase that slowly pans into view. The other figure appears to be Blitzo dressed like similarly to Erik the Phantom from "The Phantom of the Opera".]''

Blitzo: [speaking in a deeper octave than normal] IT IS NO PRANK, BITCH!

Moxxie: Heyyyyy! Why do you sound like that?

Blitzo (hallucination): Because YOU, my precious little bitch boy-

Moxxie: Stop it, sir!

Blitzo (hallucination): -are tripping [echoing] BAAAAALLLLS!

''[The shiny organ pipes act as a spotlight and points at Moxxie, who flinches. He then grabs a candelabra and ascends the stairs, beginning to talk-sing.]''

Moxxie: ♫ No! What?! How could this be? ♫

♫ I've never tried acid, shrooms, or DMT! ♫

♫ It's a bad trip! Oy Gevault! ♫

♫ Of course, Blitzo, this would be your fault! ♫

''[Cuts to a close up on hallucination Blitzo's gloved fingers as he plays the organ. The camera goes back to Moxxie, who starts singing normally.]''

Moxxie: ♫ My lungs are full of honesty ♫

♫ Would you promise me that you won't judge? ♫

Blitzo (hallucination): ♫ Yes, biiiiiiiiitch! ♫ [dramatically plays his organ]

Moxxie: ♫ Not trying to divulge too much, ♫

♫ But I'm in too deep, so first of all: ♫

[points accusatorily] FUCK YOU!

Blitzo (hallucination): ♫ What?! ♫

Moxxie: [talk-singing] ♫ This is all just typical!

♫ Well, two can play at this game of dismay! ♫

♫ 'Cause if you're here causing frustration, ♫

♫ I'm torturing you in your hallucination! ♫

''[Moxxie's coattails transition the scene to inside Blitzo's hallucination, where he finds himself sitting on a chair in a strange world made of ink. Stalactites made of ink drip in the foreground. Blitzo's art style has shifted to be similar to early animation, presumably rubber hose. He is also now wearing a clown outfit and the symbol on his forehead has changed into a broken heart. Four globs of ink in pink, black, brown and red float around him in swirling motions. Blitzo stands up, almost falling over backwards from the softer terrain. The red glob becomes a 6-eyed monster and screeches at Blitzo, dripping a bunch inky sludge on him. He looks at his hands, now coated in the red ink. He sniffs and licks at it before the ink monster comes up behind him screaming. Frightened, Blitzo stumbles and falls backward into the black ink ground. The ink monster lands and morphs into a version of Moxxie drawn a la the plan segment from "Spring Broken" that speaks in a British accent with old-timey audio quality. All the while, gloomy rock music plays in the background.]''

Moxxie (doodle): I simply follow your orders! It isn't my fault if your orders are as nonsensical as a sun tanning bed left out on the cold rainy porch of a fresh April shower!

Blitzo: Why are you talking like that? What the fuck does that even mean?!

[The doodle Moxxie begins shifting between doodle and real Moxxie, his audio changing back and forth accordingly.]

Moxxie (doodle): I am simply speaking Satan's plain English! Perhaps you should crack open a dictionary some time! And then maybe you can understand half of the frivolous things I carry on and on about on my many rants about--

''[The music gets louder while being accompanied by a high-pitched tone, drowning out doodle Moxxie's words. The camera zooms out as Blitzo looks up at the three other ink glob creatures circling around them.]''

Blitzo: [to doodle Moxxie] SHUT UP!

[Cuts back to Moxxie's hallucination.]

Moxxie: ♫ Why do you hurt me so? ♫

Blitzo (hallucination): ♫ I knoooow! ♫

Moxxie: ♫ Why must you push your friends away? ♫

Blitzo (hallucination): [harmonizes] ♫ I push my friends awaaaaay ♫

[Both begin talk-singing.]

Moxxie: ♫ Why does it seem like a recurring theme ♫

♫ That you alienate with your toxic routine? ♫

Blitzo (hallucination): ♫ I don't know! ♫

♫ Eventually, everyone goes! ♫

Moxxie: ♫ Cause you're thoughtless and cruel, ♫

♫ And you'll end up alone! ♫

[Cuts to a close-up of the hallucination Blitzo's mask covered eye looking back at Moxxie, seemingly shocked by Moxxie's accusations.]

''[Cuts back to Blitzo's hallucination again. He is now standing motionless while the remaining ink creatures swirl and drip in the air above him.]''

Moxxie (doodle): [off-screen] Admit it, my dear boss; you don't know what you are doing half the time... and you depend on me and the missus to manage your foolish flights of fancy!

Blitzo: I don't neeeeeed you! I can do this shit on my own SO easily!

''[The brown ink creature grabs him by the neck and throws him on the ground. It then morphs into Striker, who speaks with Blitzo's voice in a Southern drawl.]''

Striker (hallucination): But ya don't wanna do things alone, Blitzo!

[More brown sludge grabs Blitzo and tosses him up into the air, then the grey ink creature morphs into a rubber hose version of Fizzarolli, who also has his voice.]

Fizzarolli (hallucination): You tried the solo act! It didn't work out so well! [laughs like a distorted robot]

''[Hallucination Fizz winds him up and throws him to the ground. Blitzo coughs as the pink ink creature lands on the ground, morphing into a hallucination of Verosika Mayday and taunting Blitzo in his voice as well while crawling towards him seductively.]''

Verosika (hallucination): Yet you still shove away anyone who gets too close until they [voice gradually becomes warped and distorted] resent you for being a selfish, shitty, shit fuck!

''[Blitzo sees a staircase forming from the ink behind him. He pulls hallucination Verosika's hands away from his face and scrambles to it. The stairs transform into pristine white stairs with golden railings. Blitzo runs up the ink-covered stairs as shiny, glowing white feathers fall onto the stairs and dissolve the ink away. Blitzo trips on some residual ink and looks up, seeing Stolas sitting on a throne at the top the stairs getting fanned by two Blitzo silhouettes.]''

Stolas (hallucination): [voice-over] Are you afraid to love people, Blitzy?

''[The fans flap and transition into a close-up of Stolas, who grins at Blitzo. Blitzo begins to climb the stairs on his hands and knees. Two of the glowing feathers fly onto his wrists and turn into golden shackles, while his clown costume turns into his normal suit with a flash of light.]''

Moxxie (hallucination): I believe your subconscious is trying to tell you that you simply cannot fathom proper intimacy, but... also crave it as well. It's rather unfortunate, sir, considering it's often how you treat those who stand by you... such as myself.

''[As hallucination doodle Moxxie is talking, Blitzo is almost to the top when another feather slaps onto his throat, turning into a golden shackle attached to golden chains while also cleaning the ink off his face and returning him fully to his normal art style. Stolas pulls on the chains, pulling Blitzo close to him and grinning mischievously. Cuts to the bottom of the stairs where the Striker, Fizz and Verosika hallucinations are gathered around doodle Moxxie as he monologues. They then turn back into inky sludge again and flu off. Doodle Moxxie then turns into a semi-normal Moxxie, looking quite feminine while wearing a purple dress and holding a fan in one hand. His audio quality also returns to normal.]''

Moxxie (hallucination): Are you worried I may have enough of it one day as well?

Blitzo: STOP... FUCKING TALKING, ALL OF YOU!!

[Hallucination Moxxie gets angry and closes his fan as he dissolves into gold dust and blows away.]

''[Cuts back to the D.H.O.R.K.S. interrogation room where Blitzo and Moxxie are drooling, locked in their respective trips. Agents One and Two look at them from behind the glass, drinking soda and eating popcorn.]''

''[Cuts back to Blitzo's hallucination, where Stolas turns into gold dust and blows away. His throne and its feathered surroundings also meet the same fate. The unseen hallucinations begin taunting Blitzo.]''

Stolas: [sing-song] You're going to die aloooo-one!

Fizzarolli (hallucination): You're gonna die alone, Blitzo! [laughs]

''[In the sky above, all of the ink creatures swirl together. The gold dust that was once Stolas and his throne ascend and join the multicolored vortex above. Blitzo is surrounded by a tornado of feathers, which surround and stick to him. The hallucinations keep repeating, “You’re gonna die alone, Blitzo!”. Blitzo is covered in feathers until his arms are bound together and his mouth is covered. He opens his mouth in a silent scream, tearing the feathers away.]''

[Cuts back to Moxxie's hallucination.]

Blitzo (hallucination): ♫ Whyyyyyy, Moxxie, whyyyyyy, ♫

♫ Have you held your true feelings insiiiiiide? ♫

Moxxie: [sets candelabra down on a table] ♫ I am scared of rejectioooooon ♫

Blitzo (hallucination): ♫ Whyyyyyy, Moxxie, whyyyyyy, ♫

♫ Do you have Millie put it in your buuuuuutt? ♫

Moxxie: ♫ It gives me an erectio- ♫ Heyyyy!

Blitzo (hallucination): ♫ Nooooo need to hiiiiide ♫

♫ We accept your true feelings, so promise meeeeee ♫

Moxxie: ♫ That I can do ♫ [begins walking to the stairs]

Both: [harmonizing] ♫ To be true ♫

Blitzo (hallucination): ♫ The world is your anus, so peg it with honesty ♫

Moxxie: Ohhhh...

[Moxxie walks up to hallucination Blitzo and joins him in playing the organ.]

Blitzo (hallucination): ♫ I've been a jackass, it's truuuuuue ♫

Moxxie: ♫ You’ve been a jackass, it's truuuuuue ♫

Blitzo (hallucination): ♫ But soon as we're back as ourseeeeelves... ♫

Both: [harmonizing] ♫ I will be a better friend ♫

♫ Than I was before ♫

Moxxie: ♫ Be better at speaking my miiiiiiiiiiiiiind, aaaaand... ♫

Both: [harmonizing] ♫ Togetheeeeer ♫

♫ We can begin to become... ♫

♫ Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine ♫

[The two hallucinations finally end as Moxxie and hallucination Blitzo smile at each other.

''[Cuts back to Millie and Loona walking up to a three-by-four 12-digit keypad. Millie walks closer and sees that the 1 button is the only one that shows any wear, while the other buttons are untouched.]''

Millie: Try 1.

''[Loona presses 1 five times. The door slides open, revealing a reception desk. The girls look to each other in affirmation and run inside. Millie vaults over the desk as the door slams shut behind them.]''

[Cuts back to the camera feed watching Blitzo and Moxxie as they wake up from their respective trips now that the truth gas has run out.]

Moxxie: Do you remember what you said to me after my first day with the company?

Blitzo: Not really.

Moxxie: I remember. You told me I did a good job and that you were proud to work with me. I feel like you wanted to say something more judgmental, but you said that because I needed it. And it helped.

Blitzo: Look, I'm hard on you, because I know what you're capable of, Mox. You care too much about what everyone thinks except for me because, you know, my opinion is correct, but just keep doing a good job, 'kay? You shoot and kill good, you escape things easy, you can be strategic and cold-blooded when you need to, and don’t expect any more compliments, I'm maxed out.

Moxxie: Thank you, sir.

Blitzo: You know my name, use it.

Moxxie: Thanks, Blitzo.

''[A rumbling sound is heard as Blitzo and Moxxie look up. Millie crashes through the ceiling]''

Moxxie: There's my Millie!

Blitzo: Impressive work, Mills! How did you get here all by yourself?

[Loona uses Agent Two to break through the mirror-like window]

Blitzo: Loony!?

Loona: Get your asses out here before more fuckers show up!

''[she throws Agent Two at Agent One as she turns she begins to transform back into her hell hound form ears first. A wolf howl sound effect plays as she jumps down, she is now fully back in her hell hound form. Blitzo and Moxie pull out guns and cock them. Agent One presses a button and alarm noises begin playing. A bunch of disposable mooks appear holding weapons.]''

Blitzo: Okay, I've had one too many emotions for today. Guys, let's fuck these fuckers UP!

[A fluid fight scene starts and is full of the standard grunting and weapon and death noises.]

Blitzo: Mox, cover me!

Moxxie: Yes, sir!

[more fight scene]

Blitzo: Eat my ass!

[more fight scene, Blitzo goes to partner up with Loona]

Loona: Die, motherfuckers! [briefly looks at Blitzo] What?

Blitzo: I am just so damn proud of you, Loonie! [kisses her cheek] Bye sweetie!

Loona: Watch out!

[more fight scene - Blitzo runs to go partner with Millie]

Blitzo: Hey Mills!

Millie: Hiya Blitz! Just one sec!

[More fight scene]

Blitzo: Do you need a gun or anything?

Millie: Nah, I'm good!

[more fight scene]

Blitzo: How about some water?

Millie: Sure!

[he squirts a bottle of water in her mouth]

Millie: Thanks Blitz!

[She crushes a mooks head between her thighs.]

Blitzo: No problemy, Millie-Billie.

[more fight scene; Blitzo is not partnering with any of I.M.P]

Blitzo: Now who wants some quality time with Daddy?

[more fight scene]

Blitzo: Fore!

[more fight scene - Agents One and Two are attempting to outrun the chaos together]

Agent One: Why, God, WHY are we only using weapons from Japan's Edo period!?

Agent Two: Hey! The Edo period was badass and you know it!

Agent One: Dammit, you're right.

Agent Two: Look out!

''[she pulls them both to the floor - more fight scene. The two agents continue their attempts to escape.]''

Moxxie: Bitches!!!

Blitzo: Hey Moxxie? [Moxxie drops the shotgun that he's holding and it accidentally goes off] Oh wow, really going for the dick there, ain't'cha? Here, I got it for ya. Now hold this.

[he puts a backpack in Moxxie's arm and pulls out a giant rocket launcher labeled 'My Dick '.]

Blitzo: Oh yeah, I'm gettin' HARD holding this motherfucker!

[He fires a rocket labeled 'Pussy Destroyer'. Blitzo gives an evil laugh.]

Moxxie: Oh crumbs, is everyone okay?

[Blitzo jumps on him]

Blitzo: Wooooooo! How's that for demon scum?

''[Agents One and Two are hiding under a desk. She nods at him, he hits a red button labeled 'red button'. Alarms go off and the entire screen turns tinted red.'']

Blitzo: Oh shit, c'mon fam, lets blow this cock-sicle joint!

''[they attempt to leave but the doors come down. it is several layers of door.]''

Moxxie: Quick! The book!

[Loona pulls it out of the backpack and attempts to read it.]

Loona: Shit! I can't - I can't read the spell in this light. I can't see dick!

[Blitzo searches himself for more weapons but comes out empty-handed.]

Blitzo: Well, shit. Looks like we've milked this weapon dick dry and now we're out of badassery.

Agent Two: Ha! You demons aren’t goin' anywhere now. AH!

''[shadows growl and televisions flicker. Something is rattling. There are glowing red eyes in the shadows. Thuds all around them as agents dodge thrown cables.]''

Stolas: [from the shadows] Who DARES threaten my impish little plaything?

Agent One: Who said that?

''[footprints appear on the floor going towards the agents. Another monitor hits Agent One in the face, knocking him down. Crashing noises.]''

Agent One: Agent Two?

''[Agent Two's head begins to spasm, her eyes wide and mouth slack in shock and/or horror. Around her dead bodies stand, eyes completely filled in black and empty. The bodies kneel. Agent One attempts to approach Agent Two, her head twists around but her body does not.]''

Agent Two and Stolas: [at the same time?] 'What's the matter, demon hunter? Never seen a REAL demon before?'

''[the dead bodies draw Stolas’s summoning circle around her in their own blood. Her head whips back to it's normal orientation and she throws it back. Black shadows fly out of it into a monstrous owl shadow beast form. There's demented laughter in a variety of voices. The shadow beast approaches and screams and roars at the agents the two agents huddle together. It pulls back and turns into standard Stolas all 4 eyes open and glowing red. He turns away from them and clicks a button. Normal color returns. Stolas walks up to the gathered IMP group. He stops in front of Blitzo.]''

Blitzo: Stolas? Wha- hold on - How did you know that we needed help?

Stolas: I have my ways, darling. Are you alright?

''[He leans forward, gazing into Blitzo's eyes as he places a hand on his cheek. Blitzo rolls his eyes.]''

Blitzo: Ugh, I'm fine, Stolas.

Stolas [softly]: Mm. Good.

[Stolas grabs Blitzo's cheek roughly and adopts a sharper tone.]

Stolas: How the fuck did you get caught by humans? Are you little creatures not being careful up here? You know, if you get in trouble [He flicks Blitzo's snoot] I get in trouble. [He puts his hand on his chest]. We don't want that!

[He grab's Blitzo's other cheek to squeeze at.]

[Moxxie pulls Stolas's hand away]

Moxxie: They caught us off guard, your highness.

Blitzo: Yeah, you can unclench your bird-puss, Stolas. It’s not gonna happen again, okay?

Stolas: Luckily for you, most don't believe the words of the demon-obsessed lunatics. [the camera pans to Agents One and Two holding each other shaking] They are seen as kooks! [the camera comes back to Stolas giggling and looking rather pleased with himself] Kooks! Such a silly word! [He claps his hands together] Now! Let us all return!

[Stolas opens a portal back to hell]

Moxxie: Yes please. I'd like to get back to the correct hellhole as soon as possible.

''[Moxxie hops through and helps Millie through, Loona walks through next looking at Stolas' grimoire. Stolas picks up Blitzo in a bridal carry.]''

Stolas: Am I going to get any thank you for the rescue, Blitzy?

Blitzo: Well, I suppose you should. Want me to fuck your brains out tonight?

Stolas: Very much so. ''[He leans in for a kiss. Blitzo grabs the back of his head and pulls him back. Stolas blushes.]''

Blitzo: Alright, but you're keeping quiet or I'm using those bear traps.

''[Blitzo runs a finger down Stolas's face as he shudders with obvious pleasure, his feathers fluffing out. Stolas moans.]''

Stolas: Oh, please do~

''[The two of them partake in a French kiss. The portal closes behind them. Agents One and Two watch as they leave.]''

Agent Two: So what now?

Agent One: What now? We finally got the evidence we needed to be taken seriously!

''[he types on a computer and we see 4 scenes pop on the monitor 3 of IMP and one in the lower right hand corner of Stolas - all three of IMP are in green the Stolas corner is in red. The two agents put their glasses back on.]''

Agent One: Nobody in corporate is ignoring this. [Agent One chuckles]

[The 4 screens go back to static, first the 3 I.M.P scenes go back then the Stolas corner.]