That's Entertainment/Transcript

'''This is a transcribed copy of "That's Entertainment". Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.'''

(The scene opens with Charlie singing "I'm Always Chasing Rainbows".)

Charlie: ♫ At the end of the rainbow, there's happiness. ♫

(A human is shown falling down from the sky as a rainbow bursts upwards through the clouds.)

Charlie: ♫ And to find it, how often I've tried. ♫

(Charlie is seen being told off by her father and mother.)

Charlie: ♫ But my life, is a waste. Just a wild goose chase. ♫

(Camera pans over to where Lilith was pointing at, which shows Hell being circled by Angels.)

Charlie: ♫ And my dreams, have all been denied. / Why have I always been a failure? ♫

(A shadow of Lucifer looms over a disappointed Charlie as demonic arms and tentacles cover the screen.)

Charlie: ♫ What can the reason be? / I wonder if the world's to blame. ♫

(The Earth rotates as many eyes begin to surround it.)

Charlie: ♫ I wonder if it could be me. ♫

(The Exterminators are seen smiling deviously as they look down upon the souls they have gotten rid of. The scene turns to black as the camera focuses on the middle exterminator's face and halo.)

Charlie: ♫ I'm always chasing rainbows. / Watching clouds drifting by. ♫

(Graffiti and signs that says "Fuck You, Heaven", "Punishment" and "Your Days Are Numbered" can be seen throughout Hell.)

Charlie: ♫ My schemes are just like all my dreams. / Ending in the sky. ♫

(Charlie heads towards the hotel's balcony as she releases fireworks that signals the rest of Hell that the extermination has ended.)

Charlie: ♫ Some fellows look and find the sunshine. ♫

(A handful of demons are seen checking the area to see if the coast is all clear.)

Charlie: ♫ I always look and find the rain. ♫

(An Overlord opens the blinds to her room, revealing the display of fireworks. The camera then proceeds to show a four-eyed Overlord, as well as Lucifer himself hiding in the shadows, present in the same room as here.)

Charlie: ♫ Some fellows make a winning sometime. ♫

(At The Porn Studios, Velvet takes a selfie with Vox whereas Valentino is not amused when he sees that he got a text from his employee.)

'Charlie: ♫ I never even make a gain. / Believe me. ♫

(Two demons check to see if Franklin is still alive and proceed to head off screen as the cannibals waiting nearby pounce onto her dead body. Rosie then crosses out Franklin's name from the sign above their business.)

Charlie: ♫ I'm always chasing rainbows. ♫

(A demon can be seen cleaning up what's been left of the extermination as other demons begin to freely walk about in the open.)

Charlie: *in tears* ♫ Waiting to find a little bluebird. / In vain. ♫

(Charlie looks back at the Clock Tower as it resets the timer for the next yearly cleanse.)

(A sinner has fallen into Hell and has been transformed into a demon. He falls face-first onto the road and is surprised to see that he is still "alive".)

Four-Armed Demon: Aaaaah! *lands* Ugh. Huh? *checks self* I'm alive! I'm alive-

(He then gets run over by a taxi driven by Travis which Angel Dust walks out of.)

Travis: *snickers* Heh. Thanks for the fun time, hot stuff!

Angel Dust: *pushes his hand through his hair* Yeah, yeah, listen. *Fixes his hair more* Keep this discreet, you hear me? I can't let out I'm offerin' my services to randos on the street! It was a a quick cash grab *makes a gesture with his fingers and snaps his fingers at him, smiling*. Got it?

Travis: Pfft! Whatever you say, slut! Muhehehehehehe!

Angel Dust: *pretends to be offended* Ouch! Ooh! *turns back to face him* uch an insult! Let me know when you've come up with something creative *looms over Travis and points at him with all his index fingers*, you sack of poorly packaged horse shit! Tell the missus I said "hi", *kisses him*, Shnuckums!

Travis: *defeatedly* Pack a - puh.

(As Travis angrily drives off, Angel looks behind him to see a vending machine for drugs. He goes for the angel dust and just as he gets a hold of it, a random demon runs by and steals his drugs.)

Fesathered Demon: Yoink!

Angel Dust: *annoyed* Hey!

Feathered Demon: Up yours, drag show!

(A boulder proceeds to fall out of the sky, crushing the feathered demon alongside Angel's drugs.)

Angel Dust: *gasps* Oh my GOD! *leans in to pick up what's left of his pack of drugs with a devastated look on his face* MY DRUGS! *clenches the cloth angrily and looks up* Damn it!

(A war ship can be seen passing by, destroying its surroundings.)

(The camera zooms in on the war ship, revealing Sir Pentious and his henchmen inside.)

Sir Pentious: *operating the controls to his ship* Ahahahahahahahahahahah! Those other cowardly ssssinners dare not hinder my territorial take-over! A wise decision! The power of my machines are unmatched! *proceeds to push two levers as his hood flares open* No other demon can compare to the likesss of I!

Egg Boi #23: Gee! That was pretty swell, boss!

Egg Boi #666: Yeah!

Other Egg Boi: You really showed them what for! I liked when you *his hand mimics the action of a shooting ray gun* shot them with your ray gun! *gets slapped away by Sir Pentious*

Egg Boi #23: I wish he'd shoot me with his ray gun! *Other Egg Boi pats him*

Sir Pentious: *hood flares open* At this rate, I will seize control of the entire west side of The Pentagram by day's end! *pushes a few buttons* And nothing, *pulls levers towards him* not a single beast in this inferno of suffering will be able to take back this empire from *squeezes an Egg Boi with his tail* my constrictive grasp!

(An Egg Boi suddenly pops on screen and pops open a bottle of whiskey onto Sir Pent's face. Sir Pent proceeds to swat said Egg Boi aside.)

Random Egg Boi: Oh boy!

Sir Pentious: Hell will be mine! And everybody will know the name of Sir Pen-

(Sir Pentious is interrupted by a scream coming from off screen. Sir Pent and two Egg Bois become surprised.)

Cherri Bomb: EDGELORD!

Sir Pentious: *offended* Pardon?! *looks around angrily and eyes the two Egg Bois behind him* Who said that?! What did you just say to me, you fried chicken fetuses?! *hisses* Speak up!

The Two Egg Bois: *petrified* That wasn't us, Mr. Bossman.

(A small bomb with a print of a skull on it breaks through Sir Pent's ship. It then lands right between Sir Pent and the two Egg Bois. The bomb proceeds to blow up, leaving red smoke behind.)

Sir Pentious: *coughs and hacks*

(As the smoke clears up, the owner of the scream is revealed to be Cherri Bomb as she prepares another bomb in hand.)

Cherri Bomb: You lookin' for a fight, old man?! *begins to juggle around her cherry bomb* Why don't you get that tinker toy bullshit off my turf before I *proceeds to throw and catch the bomb* smash it?!

(A large pipe falls on top of an already dead Egg Boi, crushing him as Sir PEnt and Cherri momentarily look at the carnage.)

Cherri Bomb: *grins sadistically* ....More!

Sir Pentious: Oh! *hood flares open* You wanna go, missy?! Well, I'm happy to oblige! Ahahh!

(Sir Pentious is then backed up by his henchmen of Egg Bois.)

(The logo for 999 News is shown on a black background, which is followed by the day's newscast.)

Katie Killjoy: Good afternoon, I'm Katie Killjoy.

Tom Trench: And I'm Tom Trench! Chaos at Pentagram City today is a turf war raging on the west side!

(An image of Sir Pentious trying to be hip, followed by a drawing of Cherri flipping the bird is shown.)

Tom Trench: Between notable kingpin, Sir Pentious and self-proclaimed spunky powerhouse, Cherri Bomb!

Katie Killjoy: That's right, Tom! After the recent extermination, many areas are now up for grabs!Demons all over Hell are already duking it out to gain new territory!

(A live clip of Cherri and Sir Pentious's clash is shown.)

Tom Trench: Those two seem to be really going at it, huh?

Katie Killjoy: Looks like they're fighting tooth and nail *as she fishes out a tooth and a nail respectively from her mug of coffee* for that hot spot! *proceeds to swallow said tooth and nail*

Tom Trench: *looking over at the live broadcast focusing on Cherri* And I'm sure I'd like to nail her hot spot! *wiggles eyebrows* Hoho!

Katie Killjoy: Haha, you're a dick jackass Tom! Or should I say - *pours scalding hot coffee onto his crotch* no dick?

Tom Trench: *curls over in pain* Ugh...not again!

(Screen shows a picture of Charlie as Tom can still be heard whimpering in pain in the background.)

Katie Killjoy: Coming up next, we have an exclusive interview with the daughter of Hell's own head honcho who's here to discuss a brand new passion project! All that and more, after the break! *turns to Trench who's still in pain* Suck it up, you little bi-

(the news cast cuts off and goes on a commercial break.)

(The camera pans out from a nearby screen, focusing on Charlie and her girlfriend as she fixes Charlie's bow.)

Vaggie: *exhales* Okay! You remember what to say?

Charlie: *inhales* Yes! Let's do this!

Vaggie: *in a serious tone* Just, look at me and I'll mouth it to you.

Charlie: Come on, Vaggie! *bends backward* I know what to say! I just feel like we need to...I don't know, *grabs and throws a doughnut away* make things sound more exciting! *Gasp* Hooo! What if I si-

Vaggie: Sing a song about it?

Charlie: You knew I was gonna say that! *boops Vaggie on the nose*

Vaggie: Because I know you *fixes her bow again*. But please don't sing! *shakes Charlie* This is serious!

Charlie: Well, you know- I'm better at expressing myself and my goals through song!

(Charlie stands on the table with Razzle and Dazzle happily munching on doughnuts, watching her.)

Vaggie: But, life isn't a musical, hon. *places hands on hips*

Charlie: Fine. Nut I have these other ideas of what to say! *starts bouncing a bit as she shows Vaggie a piece of paper* The highlighted bits are the best part!

Vaggie: Uh, it's all highlighted. *squints* Is this a drawing?

Charlie: Yes! That's the happy ending, see?! *begins to fantasize* Everyone smiling and happy in Heaven!

Vaggie: *pinches the bridge of her nose* I don't think it's that simple. Just please follow the talking points we went over. And *grabs Charlie to face her* do not sing!

Charlie: Okay, fiiiine. I'll just have to result to my impeccable improv skills *salutes Vaggie as she walks over to Killjoy*

Charlie: *nervously* Hiii! I'm Charlie. *tries to go for a handshake*

Katie Killjoy: Katie Killjoy. *blows out the smoke of her cigar* I'd say it's a pleasure to meet you, but that would be a lie. *throws away her cigar* You can put that away *gestures to Charlie's hand*, I don't touch the gays. I have standards!

Charlie: Yeah...? How's uh...how's that working out for ya? *turns to look around nervously*

Katie Killjoy: Look, my time is money. So I'll keep this short *proceeds to poke Charlie*, you're not here because we wanted you here. You're here because Jeffrey couldn't make it for his cannibal cooking segment.

(A billboard of Jeffrey's cannibalism cooking show titled "It's Dahm Good! can be seen in the background.)

Katie Killjoy: You might be some royal big shot *fluffs her hair*, but that doesn't mean shit to me. I'm too rich and too influencial to give a blind fuck about some tux-wearing demon *does air quotes with her fingers* "princess" wants to advertise.

(Tom can be seen nodding in disapproval as Katie boasts about her wealth and influence to Charlie.)

Charlie: But I-

Katie Killjoy: *continuous to poke her chest* So don't get cute with me, honey. Or I;ll fucking bury you!

News Staff: And we're live!

Killjoy quickly runs back to her desk, holding papers while cracking her neck.)

Katie Killjoy: So, Charlotte!

Charlie: It's....Charlie. *smiles nervously as a spotlight flashes her way*

Katie Killjoy: Whatever. Tell us about this new passion project you've been insistently pestering our news station about! *tries to hold in her outburst by clenching her pen*

Charlie: *looks around as Vaggie motions her to go on* Well, *clears throat and exhales* as most of you know, I was born here in Hell and growing up, I always tried to see the good in everyone around me.

(Killjoy spots a slug and stabs it with her pen, the slug's blood bursts all over.)

Charlie: Hell is my home and- *gets slug blood splattered across her cheek which she then wipes off* you are my people. We....we just went through another extermination.

(Vaggie is seen giving Charlie two thumbs up as Killjoy quickly starts to lose interest.)

Charlie: We lost so many souls and it breaks my heart to see my people being slaughtered every year. No one is even given *slams fist on table, waking Killjoy up* a chance! *walks up from Killjoy's desk* I can't stand idlely by while the place I live is subjected to such violence! So, I've been thinking! Isn't there a more humane way to hinder overpopulation here in Hell? *she walks around the audience*Perhaps we can create an alternative way to change souls through...redemption? *throws her arm around one of the News Cast's staff member* Well, I think yes! So that's what this project aims to achieve! *returns to Killjoy's desk* Ladies and gentlemen, I'm opening the first of it's kind! A hotel that rehabilitates sinners!

(Her broadcast is being shown at The Radio Shack, which many other demons are also watching by the streets and everywhere else in Hell.)

Charlie: *starts to loser confidence* Y'know? Cus' hotels are for people passin' through...temporarily...

Reptile Demon: Ahahaha! IS this girl for real?! She thinks *tries to hold in his laughter* she thinks- HAHA! Ah, she's nuts. *walks out of The Kaiju Klub with his friends*

Charlie: I think it'll serve a purpose.... a place to work for redemption....yay!....

(The scene cuts back to the demons watching her broadcast from The Radio Shack. A mysterious figure walks up to see her broadcast alongside a bunch of other demons watching such as Crymini and a handful of others.)

Cameraman: *snickers* Stupid bitch.

Vaggie: *punches the cameraman square in the face*

Charlie: *looks around, saddened* Look, every single one of you has something good, deep down inside. I know you do! Maybe I'm not getting through to you-

(Razzle and Dazzle are then alerted that Charlie's about to sing and that she may need their back-up vocals.)

Vaggie: *facepalms* Oh no...