C.H.E.R.U.B (episode)/Transcript

This is a transcribed copy of C.H.E.R.U.B. Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.

''[The episode opens up to a shot of Heaven’s golden gates. The gates open and “Cherub Towne” is shown. Cletus flies in front of the camera.]''

Cletus: Well, howdy! I’m Cletus! Welcome to Heaven! Guess you did something good to get here, and good people deserve to give loved ones special blessin's!

[The cherubs begin singing the C.H.E.R.U.B. Jingle.]

''[Scene cuts to a man jumping out of an airplane without a parachute. He splats onto a rock while a censoring cloud bubble reads “Owie!”]''

Collin: ♫ Does it make you want to cry? ♫

[Another person gets run over by a speeding train as “Oh No!” appears in a thought bubble.]

Keenie: ♫ When your loved one has to die? ♫

''[Scene goes to another man who accidentally shoots himself in the face with a gun. “Oopsie!” is seen in another thought bubble.]''

Cletus: ♫ Does it hurt you through and through? ♫

[Clip shows a struggling man’s face turning blue in a hangman’s noose.]

All: ♫ When your face is turnin' blue? ♫

Collin: ♫ Well, luckily for you... ♫

Keenie: ♫ There’s somethin' we can do! ♫

Cletus: ♫ We can help keep them alive, ♫

All: ♫ So you can watch them thrive! ♫

[All three pose together.]

[The orange C.H.E.R.U.B. logo appears with a registered trademark symbol.]

All: ♫ ‘Cause here at C.H.E....R.U.B.! ♫

''[Cletus rescues a woman from a pack of wild animals. Keenie pushes a scared Collin in front of them, as he holds a plank of wood with a nail in it.]''

Collin: ♫ We’ll save your honeybun from dying violently! ♫

[The C.H.E.R.U.B. logo appears again.]

All: ♫ ‘Cause here at C.H.E....R.U.B.! ♫

[Cletus is shown waving a dismissive hand at a person handing him dollar bills.]

Keenie: ♫ No, we never even ask a fee! ♫

[Collin and Keenie give each other a hug in a yellow heart background.]

Collin: ♫ Because good people spread the love! ♫

[Small hearts of light spread out around a spinning Earth in space.]

Keenie: ♫ And we’re here for all above! ♫

[A stressed Collin rapidly writes on piles of paper in an office.]

Cletus: ♫ We do the paperwork for you! ♫

[Keenie lifts a boulder from a flattened woman, who gives her a thumbs up.]

Collin: ♫ And the heavy liftin', too! ♫

[The three Cherubs comfort a battered bleeding man in a car crash.]

Cletus: ♫ So sit right back! ♫

''[The three Cherubs appear back on the screen and sing in harmony. They pose some more.]''

All: ♫ And let us bless a sooooooul for you! ♫

♫ Oh, we... are the C.H.E.R.U.B.! ♫

''[The Cherubs appear on a small old fashioned TV. Blitzo blasts the TV with his flintlock pistol, and it explodes.]''

Millie: Nice one, B!

Blitzo: Gimme another, Mox!

''[Moxxie nervously sweeps away the flaming debris and puts another old fashioned TV onto the stand. He turns it on with a scared look on his face. The 666 News logo appears. Blitzo pours gunpowder into his flintlock.]''

Blitzo: Eh, nah. Not feelin' it. Next!

''[Moxxie switches the channel. A demonically dressed Betty Boop appears in black and white, dancing erotically with prominent breasts, holding a pitchfork. Blitzo and Millie look bored.]''

Blitzo: Uh-huh. Keep going, keep going, keep goin'...

''[Moxxie switches the channel again. Wally Wackford appears on the screen dressed in white with a black top hat, holding a cane.]''

Wally Wackford: I say, I say! Are you lookin' to get work making crazy contraptions and goofy gadgets? WELL, call me at Wacky Wally Wackford’s Wacky Idea Factory!

[The title appears against a similar circular background of classic old cartoons.]

Wally: Where you make the things and I make the money!

[Wally appears close to the screen with a pleading face.]

Wally: Please! I’m very desperate!

Blitzo: Bingo!

[Blitzo shoots and explodes the TV again.]

Millie: WOO! You’re on a roll, sir!

''[Loona snores while sleeping in a chair. She has her foot up on the table and twitches it in her sleep. A shaking wakes her up and causes her cup to spill.]''

Loona: Guys... Do you feel that?

Blitzo: Oh, shit! Is that a hellshake?

Moxxie: That’s possible?

[Millie holds onto Moxxie as his tail shoots up in fear.]

Millie: Alright! Don’t panic, Moxxie!

Moxxie: I’m not “panicking,” because hellquakes don’t happen.

[Loona roughly grabs hold of Moxxie and shakes him.]

Loona: STOP GETTING HYSTERICAL, FATTY!

''[Loona hits Moxxie against the wall before he is knocked down further by what appears to be a wrecking ball made of black tubes. Part of the wall crumbles on top of Moxxie. The smoke clears and a supervillain demon enters the room through the hole. Loona growls on all fours.]''

Loopty Goopty: Do not be afraid!

[The man grins and extends his metal contraptions in loops.]

Blitzo: Please tell me you got that insurance thing.

[Millie takes out a sharp black axe.]

Millie: Who are you, and what do you want?!

 [ Loopty Goopty slides along the black loops before he does a villainous pose between the imps.]

Loopty: I am Loopty Goopty! [singsong voice] Dastardly inventor of all things loopy and loopiiiiiish!

Loona: Coulda just used the door, dude. Doesn’t need to be this whole thing.

Loopty: I am eccentric, and must therefore do eccentric shit!

''[Loopty Goopty does a wavy dance. Blitzo sniffs him and flinches.]''

Blitzo: Ugh! This old fuck reeks of the living world. Did you just die?

Loopty: YEEEEES! Moments ago, in fact! Which is what brought me HEEEERE!

[Loona taps on her phone.]

Loona: Just sayin'... the front door would’ve gotten you here fine.

Loopty: Shut up, dear furry!

[Loona growls in anger.]

[Loopty Goopty appears in front of Loona and turns to Blitzo.]

Loopy: [singsong voice] This is the man I’m gonna need you to kiiiill!

''[He holds up an old photo of an old bald man in a bed. Blitzo takes the photo from him.]''

Blitzo: Not even a shit’s length of time in Hell and already plotting revenge. I can respect a man with that sort of passion! I’m Blitzo, the “O” is silent.

[Loona walks away as Blitzo walks over to Loopty and shakes his hand.]

Loopty: What “O”?

Blitzo: Aww, thank you. Now what’s the tea, sis?

Loopty: The TEAAAA?!

[Moxxie’s arm appears as he struggles under the weight of the debris.]

Moxxie: [pained] Guys, help!

Blitzo: Yeah, why are we killing this guy? [elbows Loopty] I mean, what did he do to you?

[Moxxie’s arm inches back and he squeals in pain.]

Moxxie: [under his breath] Losing... ox-!

Loopty: He was… my business partner! You see, I was not always an old man!

[An old film montage in brown shades depict Loopty’s early life.]

Loopty: My partner Lyle and I ran Lyle-Loopty Robotics, a technological empire!

''[Lyle and Loopty pose with capes and spiral glasses on top of a tall building labeled “Lyle-Loopty Robotics”. The building is surrounded by factories and columns spewing smoke. Down below it reads “very dramatic re-enactment from earlier that day?”]''

Loopty Goopty: Earlier today, we were testing a new machine intended to stop, or reverse, the aging process!

''[The clips show Loopty putting wires together and Lyle tightening a bolt with a wrench. The two stand by a large white machine labeled “De-age-ifier.”]''

Loopty: It could’ve saved all three trillionaires! Unfortunately, we neglected to test the machine on the poor, like we usually do. We were too sure of our own genius! But the machine was accidentally set FORWARD!

''[The two men stroll into the chamber and close the metal door. A lever labeled “young” and “old” is set to “old” at the bottom.]''

Loopty: By the time we managed to get out, it was too late! At least, for me!

''[The two men struggle to open the door, pounding on it. Both of them rapidly shrivel up and age. Loopty stares in horror at his shriveling hands. Lyle grows old and fat and slides to the floor. Loopty clutches at his chest, suffers a heart attack and collapses to the ground. A man mentions for doctors to come in. They put a stethoscope over Loopty’s heart and they shake their heads somberly. Another woman puts an oxygen mask over Lyle’s nose and mouth. Loopty’s body is zipped shut in a body bag.]''

Loopty: Now, that evil son of a bitch is going to take over the empire WE BUILT TOGETHER! Without me to share it with, he’ll make all the god damn money in the world and become the fourth trillionaire, and get all the credit!

[Scene cuts to Lyle laughing evilly as piles of money rain down on him.]

[Back to I.M.P. office.]

Blitzo: Ehhh, that’s not really evil.

Loopty: It’s evil towards me!

[Moxxie is still stuck under the rubble.]

Moxxie: [strained] Everything… is going… dark...

Loopty: Now, get your crimson asses up above and send that heartless no-good son of a bitch to Hell, where he belongs!

Blitzo: Eh, y- y- y- You do know, Poopty--

Loopty: [seethes] Looooptyyyy!

Blitzo: [holds hands up defensively] Of course! Of course... If we do kill him, though, and he ends up down here, y'know, you will be stuck with him. Forever.

Loopty: Oh, trust me...

[Loopty summons an array of weapons with his metal tentacles: several guns, a launcher, and a circular saw blade.]

Loopty: I’m counting on it!

Moxxie: [strained, gives a thumbs up] That’s kinda hot!

[Everyone glances at Moxxie.]

''[Scene cuts to the I.M.P. crew wearing wigs and disguises on a tour bus. Moxxie looks through binoculars at Lyle’s mansion.]''

Moxxie: [sarcastic] Gee! I wonder whose house this is?

Tour Guide: And to your right is the home of famous inventor, Lyle Lipton!

''[The crowd “oohs” and takes pictures with their cell phones. Blitzo removes his sunglasses, wearing a clown wig.]''

Blitzo: Let’s do it, gang!

''[All the imps take out their weapons: Blitzo has a flintlock pistol, Moxxie a rifle and Millie two sharp swords. The imps jump over a fence and land in poses.]''

Millie: Let’s kill this rich guy!

[The imps race over toward the windows.]

Tour Guide: And here you’ll find three tacky stalkers about to attempt a murder! Things like this could happen to famous people all the time!

[People snap pictures.]

[The Imps peer through the window at an old Lyle in bed.]

Moxxie: Wow... That machine really did a number on him.

[Zooming in, Lyle kisses a picture in his hands.]

Lyle: Goodbye... my one true love.

[The picture in the frame consists of dollar bills and a “free stock photos” watermark on it.]

Lyle: All the riches of the world can’t fill the emptiness I’m feeling now that my shitty old body can’t do anything of value.

Blitzo: Oh, fantastic! He’s gonna do our job for us!

[Lyle makes a noose out of an IV tube.]

Moxxie: Should we go in there and tie it for him?

''[Lyle is about to put it over his head as the imps watch with drinks and popcorn. The noose glows white and a force knocks the imps back. Blitzo’s kitten sock flies away, making him sad. Lyle adjusts to the light and sees the three cherubs floating down gracefully in three rays of light.]''

Lyle: Oh lord, I’m being haunted by ugly orphan children now!

Blitzo: Who the fuck are they?

Moxxie: Oh no! Sir, those are…

Cletus: Cherubs, Mr. Lyle!

Lyle: I hate filthy stinking orphan children!

Collin: We’re here to convince you not to kill yourself, sir. To grant you a blessing, on behalf of those in Heaven benefited by your amazing technological advances.

Blitzo: [angry] Oh, HELL no!

[An angry Blitzo marches in through the window, smashing the glass instantly.]

Blitzo: Don’t forget--

''[Misjudging where the floor is in relation to the window, Blitzo face-plants onto the floor. Moxxie and Millie enter through a door.]''

Moxxie: Lyle Lipton, it is our--

[Moxxie glances at Blitzo before looking back at Lyle.]

Moxxie: …humble opinion that you should continue the process to commit die.

Millie: I mean, what do you expect to do with all this money now you’re old... and gross?

Keenie: Is that a serious question? He can help spread his wealth around with the people of the world! And do so much good with it! And be so fulfilled!

[Keenie flies around and happily throws Lyle’s dollar bills in the air.]

Lyle: Nnnno!

Collin: He could pay for new hospitals and schools!

Lyle: Why won’t you let me die?

[Blitzo appears beside him.]

Blitzo: Oh, sounds like you need help offin' yourself there, buddy. Moxxie, what do we got for this fella?

[Moxxie tosses a variety of weapons to Blitzo and Lyle.]

Moxxie: I have some assault weapons, crossbow, hunting bow, tommy gun, old-fashioned shotgun, revolvers in three colors, chainsaws, katanas--

Collin: He’s classier than that!

[Lyle points a rifle in his mouth, before Collin takes it from him.]

Collin: There are still plenty of reasons to live, Mr. Lyle!

Millie: Yeah, right. Smells like he ain’t been out of bed in months!

''[Millie sniffs Lyle. She becomes visibly ill, covers her mouth, and while holding Moxxie by the shoulder, vomits on the floor.]''

Cletus: Life can be beautiful at any age.

Keenie: And we’ll show him!

Cletus, Collin, and Keenie: [Cheers] Yeah!

Blitzo, Moxxie, and Millie: [yells] Nnnnno!

[C.H.E.R.U.B. takes Lyle and his bed outside to a hill, overlooking a forest and a lake.]

Cletus: Look around, Lyle. God’s gift of nature is a wonder to behold, regardless of age! Or wealth!

Collin: If you were to end your life, you’d be missing all of this!

[Blitzo appears in a tiger costume.]

Blitzo: Mm-hm. You’re gonna buy that load of shit from a baby and the sheep it fucks?

[Blitzo does a suggestive gesture with his fingers, indicating sex.]

''[Keenie covers her mouth and gasps. Collin blankly stares in disbelief, and Cletus gives a disappointed look.]''

Keenie: [gasps] That is so inappropriate!

''[Millie and Moxxie appear in cat costumes. Millie flips the double bird while insulting Keenie.]''

Millie: Oh, kiss our ass, prude!

[Blitzo shoves Lyle aside in the face and sits next to him.]

Blitzo: Anyway, take it from me, a fellow genius. Nature is no picnic up close.

''[Lyle looks through the binoculars and sees a group of bunnies and squirrels together. The critters are suddenly torn apart and eaten by a pack of hungry wolves.]''

Lyle: Oh no!

Collin: [tries to tug his binoculars away] S-S top looking!

Lyle: [holds onto the binoculars] I can’t stop! I’ve never wanted to die more than I do now!

''[A bear swipes a wolf to the ground and raises a paw to attack. The bear is then crushed by a falling tree, cut up by a beefy logger with a chainsaw. A beehive lands on the man’s head and he screams. Both his arms are chopped off by the chainsaw and his body is skewered by a charging stag as lighting flashes.]''

[Everyone freezes in horror, while Blitzo fakes it and grins smugly.]

Cletus: [nervously] Let’s go check out someplace else!

[Millie and Moxxie do a fist bump in their cat costumes.]

''[Scene cuts to a shopping mall. Lyle, in his bed, is pushed through a wall.]''

Lyle: Oh, Lord. Where are we now?! Let me perish!

Keenie: We’re here to show you another thing life is worth living for: childhood wonderment!

''[Keenie motions to a crowd of kids cheering by a sitting Santa Claus. One kid wears a “Craft Mine” shirt, while another eats his booger.]''

Lyle: Why, look at those sweet, disease-ridden vermin. Their joy comes from innocence, unspoiled by the burdens of adulthood... and their middle-class existence. Such simple joy they have. It is inspiring. Thank you for showing me this.

Blitzo: [offscreen] Hey, dipshit!

''[The camera cuts to Blitzo and Millie, who are dressed as elves, while a grumpy Moxxie wears a reindeer costume. They stand by Santa and a kid.]''

Blitzo: Wanna see whose lap you’re sittin' on?!

''[Blitzo rips off the red robe. “Santa” is revealed as an ugly gnome wearing a “#Cuties” shirt, all while making a gnome noise. The kids scream and run. Lyle sobs like a baby as Collin and Keenie cover his eyes. A concerned Cletus pushes the bed away.]''

Boy: [off-screen] Santa's EVIL!!

[Scene cuts to Lyle in bed in the woods next to a wooden sign reading “Lover’s Lookout, I guess…”]

Lyle: Eh! This place reeks of TEENAGERS!

Cletus: Lovers' Lookout, sir! We’re here to remind you about possibly life’s greatest joy of all!

Lyle: [holds up creepy grabby hands] Money!

Collin: No! Love.

Lyle: I’ve never been in love before. I imagine it’s quite nice!

Collin: It’s not too late, sir! You can still find--

[The Imps arrive wearing wigs and dresses.]

Blitzo: HA! Nice try, ugly.

[He pulls out a megaphone.]

Blitzo: Hey, horny lovers! Which one of you would fuck this old man?!

''[All the cars speed away in an instant. Lyle becomes dejected.]''

Collin: [gets into Blitzo’s face] You know, you three are so utterly c- c- cruel! We’re just trying to give hope to someone in need!

Moxxie: Oh, and you three are so superior to us just because WE want some selfish, greedy, authoritarian capitalist to keel over DEAD!

[Moxxie through his hands out for emphasis.]

Blitzo: You’re makin' things too real now, Moxxie.

[Blitzo sprays piss from a spray bottle into Moxxie’s face, making him flinch and hiss.]

''[Scene cuts to a woman dressed as a Viking singing opera at an auditorium while on a fake unicorn. A well-dressed man plays a piano. The cherubs and the audience are well-dressed, too. Lyle only wears a bowtie.]''

Cletus: Behold! The wonder of art and music! Something always here to comfort…entertain…and live for!

[Up above the stage, Blitzo wags his butt and tail like a cat.]

Millie: So…how do we make this bad?

Moxxie: We can’t. There’s literally nothing bad about opera. That’s fact.

Blitzo: [shaking his butt in Moxxie's face] Unless we ruin it somehow.

''[With a mischievous grin, Blitzo moves the spotlight around the stage. The singer pauses and follows the light as Blitzo moves it some more.]''

Lyle: She’s not very good.

''[Blitzo chuckles and moves the light faster and faster as Lyle and the cherubs narrow their eyes in suspicion. Blitzo softly gasps as he accidentally breaks the stage light off. The woman sings a final note before the light crushes her on stage. The audience, Lyle, and the cherubs scream, while the man nervously tries to keep playing the piano.]''

Blitzo: Well, at least we made it bad.

[The three cherubs fly angrily toward the imps.]

Cletus: THAT'S IT!! I HAVE HAD IT!! You three monsters have messed with us enough!

Collin: D'ooh, we're just trying to do our j-j-job!

Moxxie: Well, so are we!

Cletus: EEEENOUGH!!

[The Cherubs summon golden crossbows and aim them at the Imps.]

Cletus: We are savin' that shitty old man’s life, whether he wants it or not!

Blitzo: Well, someone wants that fucker dead! Okay? And he paid in advance, and I spent it all on this…

[Blitzo holds up a green horse figure wearing jewels, sunglasses and a “mare-ajuanna” cap.]

Blitzo: …so he’s gotta go!

[Keenie flies into Blitzo’s face.]

Keenie: You all are such disgusting, loathsome beasts! Your kind is nothing but dirt that shitty dead people tread on! And now, you’re trying to meddle with the lives of HUMANS?!

Millie: So are you! So why don’t you shut your trap, you judgmental, [pulls Keenie by her necklace and snaps it back] cotton candy, tit-havin’ BITCH?!

Keenie: …FILTHY DEMON CRAP!! [tackles Millie]

''[Intense opera music plays as the fight scene begins. Keenie and Millie roll over in a cat fight. Cletus and Collin shoot golden arrows at Blitzo and Moxxie who run away. Moxxie runs down the catwalk and jumps down, swinging from a rope. He holds a pistol in one hand and aims it at Keenie, who fights with Millie in the air. Millie slaps Keenie in the face several times. Moxxie fires at a rope which releases a bag. The bag separates Keenie and Millie, and Moxxie catches Millie. Moxxie and Millie grab each other’s faces with lustful grins. They French kiss and make out as they swing and spin rapidly above the stage and fire their weapons. Blitzo spots Moxxie’s bow-tie and Millie's bra fall from above. The arrows and bullets hit and kill the audience members in the first two rows, but they all miss Lyle.]''

Lyle: It’s all starting to make sense now. Life is worth living because we only get one. We must cherish it. If creatures far beyond this living world are going through these lengths over my life, then certainly it’s worth living! Killing myself is not the answer. Plus…I’m still rich! I can just buy all the things! I NO LONGER CRAVE DEATH!

''[Lyle stands up and holds dollar bills in his hands in triumph. The audience members clap. Millie and Moxxie, spinning while firing their guns and being chased by Collin and Keenie, accidentally shoot an audience member in the head and kill her.]''

''[Blitzo runs along the metal scaffolding with his flintlock pistol. He jumps onto another one attached with rope. He and Cletus point their weapons at each other. Blitzo attempts to fire, but finds his gun empty. After a brief stare-down, Blitzo throws his flintlock into Cletus’ face.]''

Cletus: Oh! You fucker!

''[Blinded, Cletus fires his arrow- severing the rope holding up the scaffolding Blitzo is standing on. Blitzo, Moxxie, and Millie all fall with the metal scaffolding to the floor of the stage, bending a board holding the piano and narrowly missing the pianist. The pianist stops playing, puts down his stool, and uses it to step down from the bent floorboard. The piano is then sent flying through the air. Blitzo, Moxxie, Millie, Cletus, Collin, and Keenie stare as the piano keeps falling. Lyle screams like a girl and scrambles out of his bed, but the piano suddenly shifts to the spot he has just moved to. He is then crushed to death by the piano.]''

''[Moxxie grins as he sits tied up to Millie. Blitzo and the couple grin smugly.]''

Moxxie: Well, well. Would'ya look at that? You... did our job... for us. Heh!

''[Millie smirks as she gives the cherubs two middle fingers. Collin gasp in horror.]''

Collin: Ohhhh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my Gooood!

[Keenie slaps Collin across the face.]

Keenie: Get a hold of yourself, Collin! And do NOT use the Lord’s name in vain!

Cletus: THIS…ISN'T OVER!

[Blitzo, Moxxie, and Millie smirk as Keenie creates a portal to Heaven and the cherubs fly through, only to be mysteriously repelled back.]

Cletus: WHAT THE--?!

''[A group of cherubs descends, two bees, two sheep and Deerie, the leader. The deer conjures up reading glasses and a clipboard.]''

Deerie: Mmm, yeah, no, sorry, Cletus, but I’m afraid your actions resulted in the death of a human. I’m afraid you can’t re-enter Heaven. Yeaaaah, noooo...

Cletus, Collin, & Keenie: WHAT?!?!

Deerie: [chuckles and speaks condescendingly] Yeaaaah, mmmmm, sorry! Yeaaaah, no…

Collin: Is there…anything we can do?!

[Deerie files her hoof.]

Deerie: Yeaaaah, nooo! [chuckles] Oh noooo, no, no.

[Deerie says “no” while pointing her hooves at Collin, Cletus and Keenie.]

Keenie: Bu- But we didn’t mean to! We'd never! It was all--

''[Keenie points to the spot where I.M.P. was, only to find them gone. All three cherubs stare wide-eyed, whist a scream in horror sound effect plays in the background.]''

Deerie: Anyway, sorry, guys. But those are the rules! Yeaaaaah. Byyyye!

[Deerie does a happy wave before she and the group vanish through the portal.]

Cletus: Wait! But--

''[Cletus flies toward the portal but it closes. Cletus breaks down into tears and cries.]''

[Blitzo claps his hands together.]

Blitzo: Welp, the old man wanted to live again and we didn’t kill him, so we failed. Thanks to those fuckin' cherubs, he’s probably up in Heaven now, so... it’s a shame. All our client wanted was eternal revenge on his business partner. And now the two are forever separated. And now, we gotta face the fire of fuckin' up.

Moxxie: Sir... when are you going to tell the client?

Blitzo: Oh, I already sent him a text, and... we’re in good hands, 'cause texts don’t make people angry.

''[On Blitzo's phone it shows that Loopty Goopty is called "Lupis" in his contacts. The text from Loopty reads “U fail, U die.", followed with Blitzo replying "sorry” surrounded by emojis, with "saxophone emoji" typed a line below.''

''[Moxxie looks worriedly to the wall behind him. A metal escalator proceeds to crash into the office as he scurries out of the way.]''

Loopty: [descending the escalator] BLIIIIIITZO!

Blitzo: [worried] Loofaaaaa! We can explain everything. I was--…

[Another metal escalator crashes through the wall and squashes Moxxie as Lyle, now a mechanical demon, arrives with a grin.]

Blitzo & Millie: [in confusion] Lyle Lipton?!

Millie: I don’t understand. We thought you went to Heaven?

Lyle: [scoffs] Heaven?! You don’t make millions in technological advances in robotics by NOT experimenting on the poor! [laughs]

Loopty: Oh, you no good heartless son of a bitch! [Turns to Blitzo.] Thank you for reuniting me with my best friend!

Lyle: The only question now is what do two old genius robotic inventors do now that we’re in Hell?

[Wally Wackford crashes through the ceiling.]

Wally: Did someone say, I say, inventors?! Name’s Wally Wackford, and I am lookin' for creative new people to exploit! [realizes what he said] I mean, employ~

[Wally twirls his mustache.]

Blitzo: Everyone, STOP FUCKIN' UP MY WALLS! Moxxie’s gonna have to fix all this shit!

[Moxxie is shown trapped, frothing at the mouth.]

Blitzo: Oh, chill out, Moxxie. If you kiss my ass any harder, you’ll go right inside me. Satan’s balls! First we deal with Heaven’s table-scraps, now this?

Wally: I guess…you can say, you say, you have a holey operation here, Blitzo! [pronounced as spelled]

''[Wally slaps his knee and laughs. He doubles down on the floor.]''

Blitzo: Get out.

[Wally continues laughing.]

Wally: Oh-ho-ho! I say, “Oh!”

Blitzo: No, I’m serious. Get the FUCK OUT!!

[Everyone in the room looks at Blitzo, shocked and surprised.]