Seeing Stars/Transcript

[Stolas narrating over a shot of the galaxy]: In the great expanse of the nether there exists boundless amounts of magnificent phenomenon the great brilliance of an exploding star, the nimble dance of space dust through a nebula but once every one thousand years our corner of reality is treated to an incredible sight from the deep eldritch recesses of the cosmos the tears of a forgotten colossus begin to fall. Tears made of the hopes and dreams of every living thing that never came to be. Condensed and sent shooting across the night sky in a dazzling final display. What appears to mortal beings as a meteor shower we can see for what it is: Azathoth's Tears.

Young Octavia: [Giggles] Daddy can we go see it someday?

Stolas: Yes dear I promise, when the day comes nothing will be able to keep me from being there with you. Good night my Owlette.

Young Octavia: [Yawns] Good night! [she turns and wiggles and giggles in her bed].

[Scene shifts to present Octavia; she's circling a drawing on a calendar of her face, Stolas face, and a meteor shower. The starfall is "today". She hops down a hallway putting on her boot.

Octavia: Hey Dad! [She looks in her kitchen and around the manor but he isn't there.] Dad? Dad? [She sees an open foyer door, we hear Stolas' voice coming through it.]

Stolas: Yes I know! ''[The scene jumps to Stolas out front on the phone with Stella, squeezing a servant in his other hand. Imps are loading items into a van.]'' It will be there shortly. Of course they're being careful!

Octavia: Dad what's going on?

Stolas: Apparently your mother can't exist somewhere for two minutes without the entirety of her possessions [Stella is yelling something incomprehensibly in response through the phone as he speaks] What? No! I'm not turning her against you! Yessss Stella!

Stella: Never see your fucking face again!

Octavia: Dad?

Stella: Everyone [She continues to yell incomprehensibly]

Octavia: This is going to be done before tonight, right?

Stolas: What? Oh. I hardly think so, knowing your mother this will take all weekend. [To the imps loading the car] Don't be gentle about it now! Break whatever you have to to get it all in there.

Stella: What!? What did you just tell them to do?!

Octavia: But tonight was supposed to-

Stolas: Darling, can we not talk about this now? Your mother's being a real B-I-T-C-H.

Stella: The fuck do you mean [More incomprehensible yelling]

Stolas: Well how was I supposed to know you can spell?! I've never seen you read!

Stella: Everything! Everything you own!

[Out of frustration, Octavia slams the door and yells she rips up the calendar page, angrily topples her telescope over, and grabs a bag with her things and leaves the mansion.]

''[The scene zooms in on her circled date and then cuts to another calendar with a circled date of the 20th with the words "Have The Talk" in the background you can see the words Have the talk scribbled out on the 11th, 12th, 15th, 18th, and 19th. The 13th has a drawing of a horse and is labeled "riding Lessons" and the 14th has a drawing of the moon, a dick, and is labeled as "Stolas??". There's a sound of crashing and the calendar zooms out. The picture is Verosika with a post-it note of a drawing of Blitzo's face slapped over hers. It zooms further out as knives fly past the screen and Blitzo looking nervous.]''

Blitzo: Loona, honey, wait just a - SHIT. [He runs backwards as Loona runs forwards looking pissed.]  Loonie please can we talk [an item is thrown and hits him] FUCK, uh, I mean WOW good throw honey I-I'm so proud of youuuuu! [Loona pounces and tackles him off camera.]

Loona grabs a picture off the wall and begins beating Blitzo with it while Millie walks past to the couch where Moxxie is sitting. She joins him on it. They drink coffee together.

Millie: What's this all about honey?

Moxxie: Ah, oh! Blitz finally talked to her about her attitude with clients! [Blitzo grabs the couch they're sitting on and pulls it forwards, jumping and hiding behind it.]

Loona: [Growls]

Blitzo: I just think some small tweaks might help you be more of a uh, people person, you know?

Loona: I am a people person. [She reaches forwards, grabs Blitzo by the collar and pulls him close.] if I'm so terrible, how about you just grow a pair and replace me?

Blitzo: Okay, well, maybe I- Maybe I might.

Loona: What?

Blitzo: [Looks back at Moxxie who gives him a thumbs up, turns back to Loona] Maybe I will Little Missy. Yeah that's right it's tough love time so now can... go... to your desk!

Loona: ''[Growls and drops him. She heads to her desk.]''

''[Octavia opens the door and wraps her hair around her neck like a scarf disguise. No one notices her entering.]''

Moxxie: Sir, if I may say so; You're doing the right thing. If we can't even hire a cheerful qualified receptionist how can people trust us to massacre and mutilate their enemies for them? It's good for business.

''[Octavia makes it into Blitzo's office. She rummages around in his desk and doesn't find what she's looking for. She turns behind her to a poster of IMP all together. She moves it to reveal a wall safe covered in spider webs and labeled "Blitzo's stuf Do Nut Steel!!" with a drawing of two horses. She enters a code of 1-2-3-4 and the safe opens. She grabs Stolas' grimoire out of the safe and flips through the pages.]''

Octavia: Take me to see the stars. ''[A pentagram swirls around her and black swirls of power stream towards the ceiling. The light show catches Moxxie's attention.]''

Moxxie: Um, sir?

Blitzo: The fuck?

IMP squeezes through the door as one weapons drawn, just in time to see Octavia disappearing through the portal.

Blitzo: ... Loona!?

Loona: [Off-screen, sounding bored.] Oh yeah, you have a visitor.

Octavia blink's her eyes slowly open.

Octavia: Where am I?

Our scene opens on a blank hollywood star. Someone offscreen throws up onto it. Octavia slides backwards and yelps. There's a dead body with an eye ball coming out of it's head (it's the Celebrity character human design) he was killed by Octavia falling on him. The grimoire sits next to him. Octavia looks up and the portal closes. She grabs the grimoire.

Octavia: Woah!

Clown: This is my territory bitch, take your shitty costume and get the fuck off my corner! [he pushes octavia]

Octavia grabs her things and runs across a cross walk while cars swerve and almost hit her. She runs into a protest mob. They're holding signs that say "demons walk among us", "God hates you personally", and "<-- To Hell". She dodges away from them and almost into a gleaming golden statue of a man smiling with his hand out. Octavia falls to the ground. To ladies see her and look shocked. Octavia looks frightened as she grabs the grimoire and scrambles into an alley way. She sits with her knees to her chest breathing heavily like a panic attack. Cut to Blitzo freaking out.

Blitzo: shit shit shit shit [grabs Moxxie] What the fuck am I supposed to tell Stolas?

Moxxie: well, he seems to like you sir. Maybe he would understand if -- [Blitzo shoves him away]

Blitzo: Okay my dick is *good* but it is not that good Moxxie.

Moxxie: Sir I don't think we really have a choice.

Blitzo: So what you just want me to call him up and be like "Hey Stolas" - [Jump cut to Blitzo actually on the phone] So your daughter came by, took your book, and teleported off to who the fuck knows where and we have no way of getting either of them back, okay? okay. Good Talk bye. [he looks progressively more worried as he speaks and quickly puts the phone down when he's done. Backing away slightly.] Oh that actually went better than I thought.

The door blows up and Stolas stands inside in full demon form (same one as from DHORKS).

Stolas: Blitz!!!!!!

Cut back to Octavia exploring. She's trying to talk to people on the street, who are ignoring her.

Octavia: Hey do y- Can you help - h-how do I get ah - I - excuse me I just need to know where I can [sighs] see the stars. [groans and rubs at her eye, pulling her beanie down.]

A map is thrown into Octavia's face it says "bus tours" on the back and on the inside center panel "Star * Struck Tourz" and in the bottom left hand corner "Stalk your fave celeb!"

Octavia: [crumples the map close in a hug] Yes! [expands it back out and runs to hop a seat on the Starstruck tourz bus.

Stolas paces in front of Moxxie, Millie, and Blitzo

Stolas: How could this happen? Do you just let anyone waltz into your office and grab infinitely powerful artifacts. [Stolas clutches at his hat looking worried.] Why would she do this? How are we supposed to find her? Where would she go?

Loona sniffs the air.

Loona: Well it reeks of urine and desperation so  [sniffs again] Ugh L.A. [every goes from worried to turning and looking at loona suprised] What?

Cut to Loona being shoved through a portal that the rest of IMP + Stolas walks through.

Blitzo: alright Loona let's make this quick, in and out before anyone notices us here. [sounds of gunfire and screaming. Blitzo looks around the alley way that they've portaled into] Oh. This doesn't look much different from Hell. [he brushes off his front] Alright lets get to work, Loonie: Sniff.

Loona: How am I supposed to smell anything in this city?

Moxxie: Can't you even do one thing right?

Loona: Can't you do anything about how fat you are?

Moxxie: I'm not -

Blitzo: you know it wouldn't kill you to put a salad in your body every now and then.

Moxxie: what? but I'm not fat.

Blitzo jumps up on a dumpster and tapes a picture to the open lid. It has drawings of IMP with loona in her human disguise plus stolas and a fake moustache.

Blitzo: first things first we're gonna do this the old fashioned way ( he points at his drawing) we're gonna need disguises.

Loona and Stolas get a dual Magical girl transformation sequence into human disguises. Millie claps her hands together happily. Moxxie is still upset. Blitzo looks confused. In the background next to him is a poster that reads "Public Health wARNING: New study finds LA water to be 2% sewer overflow and 98% literal acid. No, obviously don't drink that shit top scientists say."

Blitzo: no chance you can conjure us a couple of those, can ya?

Stolas: Sadly no, I'm afraid without my grimoire my powers are just a tad limited in the human world.

Blitzo: What you can't memorize your fucking spells?

Stolas: [mad] Oh your memory's so great? [gestures to Moxxie] What's his phone number?

Blitzo: Fuck you [stolas smirks].

Stolas: Exactly.

They walk out of the alleyway and Stolas yoinks a pair of sunglasses which he puts on his head where his second pair of eyes would be in his normal form. Moxxie runs fac first into a human.

Dude: Hey little man, how about you check out [pulls cd out of jacket] this demo right here. This is some premium grade fire right here, perfect for you to crank with the little lady [he grabs millie and pulls her close to her obvious displeasure].

Moxxie: oh wow you made this? Thank you. [he and millie walk away. The dude follows them. ]

Dude: oh hey hey hold up a sec you just gonna grab it and go?

Millie: [angrily] he's said "thank you"

Dude: [puts a hand in her face] 20 bucks, man.

Moxxie: [grabs millie's face] Millie, we need money to pay this talented artist. [millie watches as the rest of their group walks past the corner without them.]

Millie: you can just give it back Mox.

Moxxie: [gasping and grabbing the sides of his face, he jumps behind a tree crouching and holding the CD close] Millie, these artists put their heart and soul into their work! I can't just give it back like it's worthless. [hisses and swipes at a squirrel that was sniffing at him. ]

Millie: it probably is.

a woman walks past and flips a coin to Moxxie.

Woman: Sick demon costume man. [Moxxie stares at the coin he's received] It's metal as FUCK!

Moxxie stands up, flips the coin. Drops it. Chases and collects it and flips it again catching it correctly this time.

Mooxie: I have an ide- oh woah, hey hey hey hey, come back here, [grunt of effort] I have an idea!

The coin has an eagle in the center. On the top it says USA on the bottom it says 2021.

Switch back to Octavia. The bus stops and she groans.

Tour Guide: And to your left you'll see the home of one of those influencers who thinks they're hot shit cause now they do TV shows. [a woman and presumably her kid hop into a limo while a man lays prostrated on the ground crying and begging. the limo drives away and he stands up and begins kissing a man standing nearby wearing a bathrobe. ]

Octavia groans and turns away pulling her beanie down over her eyes. Scene cut to a door opening at a store labeled "Little costume shop of horrors". A torso animatronic with an eye falling out cackles. Blitzo walks through the door dressed in a pink shirt, blue jeans, and wig. His horns have been covered with frankly gigantic ears. Stolas looks up at him as Blitzo gestures to himself.

Blitzo: So?

A woman screams excitedly.

Woman: Look everyone it's Hollywood star Brennon Ragers!

Blitzo: The Fuck is Brennon Rager - oh. [he looks up and sees a poster for Sweetie I'm in the house!! Guest Starring Brennon Ragers. The man on the poster is the one Octavia accidentally killed by landing on earlier.]

Stolas: [looking up at the poster eyes wide.] Oh dear.

A crowd immediately mobs blitzo. Taking pictures and begging for things while blitzo tries to escape.

Blitzo: Millie where are you and your whore bag husband?

Cut to Millie and Moxxie singing. Couples stand together looking in love. Dude who gave moxxie the $20 CD looks miffed.

Mox and Mil: [singing and harmonizing] you're my lovely little monster, and I'll never say goodbye. I will kill for you, until the day we die~.

The crowd cheers throwing roses and money while Moxxie bows. He points to the money earned to Millie looking excited. She looks less than impressed. He gives the money to Dude.

Moxxie: and here you are my fellow Troubadour.

Dude: whatever man, get the fuck outta here you're cramping my buisness.

Millie: come on babe, we have to catch up to Blitz before - [she turns and runs face first into a poster.]

Man: eyyyy Wanna buy some art?

Moxxie: [excitedly] wha? Yes! [at the stall he is holding a picture that says believe on it. There are 3 key chains displayed: a palm tree head on a figure wearing a bikini, a wolf wearing boxers with hearts either over or as it's nipples and a Verosika Mayday in her human form holding a microphone. She's smiling and looks happy.]

Cut back to Blitzo the crowd has grown.

Blitzo: I'm taking this out of their pay!

A black car stretches up. A set of burly muscle men begin pushing back the crowd as a man with a clip board blows a whistle.

Man in Yellow Vest: Mr. Rages we've been looking for you everywhere. You were supposed to be on set an hour ago. [two of the muscle men grab either side of Blitzo's arms, they pull him upright.]

Blitzo: The fuck are you talking about?

Yellow Vest: your guest spot on Sweetie I'm in the house [a fake YouTube ad for Sweetie I'm in the house pops up. It advertises Thursday at 8pm only on Starstruck Guest Starring Brennon Ragers.] We're taping tonight now hurry up and get in the car!

Blitzo: oh no no no no I'm not going anywhere with you jizz biscuit [he flips him off]

Yellow Vest: Very Funny Mr. Ragers. [he holds out a candy] Now get in the car pspspspspsps come on boy. Come on.

Blitzo: [pulls his arms free] Get your fucking hands off of me. Loona Stolas a little help here? [His fake ears fall off and the crowd immediately fights over them. The kid from the Verosika Mayday concert pops up and rips open his shirt again but this time his chest has Brennon Ragers written on it. He has no audio tied to him.]

Stolas: [trying to get through the crowd] E-excuse me sir, I'm Mr. Rager's agent and I don't believe you can just - [he's grabbed and picked up] woah, [appreciatively] You are strong.

The two are thrown into the back of a Van and make "ow" noises as they make contact with it's walls. The door closes before Blitzo can escape.

Stolas: Blitz, we don't have time for this. Via could be anywhere, she could be in danger!

Blitzo: Don't worry I'm on it. [He crashes his head through the back window shattering the glass. Loona is fighting with the crowd.] Loonie go find Via, we'll catch up soon! [she flips him off and he gives her a thumbs up] Yeah! way to be a team player sweetie! She's in great hands.

Octavia gets off the bus, rips the map in half and pulls on her beanie. Ignoring crime seen tape she walks through one and steps on a dead torso from a car crash. She walks past until she stops and notices a poster that shows a grey owl with blue magic swirls streaming from its eye against a moon. The poster is labeled "Star Owl Souvenir Shop". Octavia excitedly gets out her phone and snaps a picture. She walks past a store then stops and presses herself against the window. Inside the store is mostly creepy items with a prominently displayed "starstruck surprise box" the scene jumps to the building of Starstruck studios. Blitzo is being dragged inside against his will and he is clawing at the walls trying not to be taken. Stolas is watching passively, slung over another man's shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Blitzo gets dragged to a makeup chair and surrounded by people.

Yellow vest: let's get him ready he's on in five.

Blitzo: what? five what? I can't be on a sit com. [the makeup team primps and grooms and hits him with a pink dust bomb.]

Yellow Vest: Should've had an ego crisis before signing the contract.

Blitzo: uh - i - uh - woah - I don't even know the fucking lines idiot.

Yellow Vest: Well that's why god invented teleprompters.

It flips to an adult woman in blue smoking, a small girl in pink snorting a line of coke, and a man in a purple shirt picking his nose. the teleprompter reads "GOD KILL ME PLS" with a slice of pizza dripping off it. The teleprompter explodes electricuting the man.

Stolas: Shouldn't he rehearse or something?

Yellow Vest: No can do we're live in 10, 9, 8 ... [he continues to count down as he walks away and Blitzo freaks out]

Blitzo: oh shit oh shit oh shit I - I - I can't do this, no not again, I - I haven't performed since -

Stolas: Blitz, if your performance on stage is half as good as it is in bed you'll leave them [practically purring] breathless. [Blitzo audibly gulps. Stolas shoves him forwards.] Now hurry up and wow them so we can get back to finding Via.