Dad Beat Dad/Transcript

This is a transcribed copy of "Dad Beat Dad". Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.

''[Opens to Vaggie sleeping in bed. she squirms before waking up, yawning and rubbing her eyes. She turns to the left side. Camera zooms out to reveal Charlie gone.]''

Vaggie: Charlie?

[It cuts to Charlie panicking and planning out everything with lots of paper with strings attached with everyone else watching her, disturbed by her behavior.]

Charlie: I'm just not quite understanding why it's not working. Okay, okay, think Charlie. Think, think, think, think, think, think, think, think. Okay if I do this, it's going to be- (gasp) I have trust falls every single morning. We can do- (gasp)

Angel Dust: Yikes.

Charlie: Come on, come on, come on, come on.

Vaggie: Charlie? Sweetie? You, uh, you good?

[Charlie looks back with sleep-deprived, insane look in her eyes that red veins were shown in the scalera.]

Charlie: Nope! No, not really. Ha ha. I've been up all night trying to figure out why the hotel isn't working. [Crushes paper with hand] We've done trust falls, we've tried sharing our feelings, we only have a couple months left before the angels come. [Turns into demonic form and laughs maniacally before turning back to normal] And at this rate-

Vaggie: Maybe it's time-

Charlie: NO.

Vaggie: to ask-

[Charlie gets up close to Vaggie's face, holding her cheeks desperately.]

Charlie: DON'T SAY IT.

Vaggie: your dad.

[Charlie groans, knowing what this means for her.]

Vaggie: Charlie, I know you don't want to, but we need every advantage we can get.

Charlie: He let the extermination happen to begin with. They just had a meeting and said, "Go ahead and kill everyone"- (gasp) Wait, that's it!

Vaggie: Kill everyone?

Charlie: No! He could get me a meeting with Heaven!

Vaggie: Didn't we already try that?

Charlie: Well. yeah with Adam, he was an asshole. But he isn't in charge of all of Heaven. We could go to the top. There's sure to be some angels who will listen.

''[Charlie scrolls through her contacts. In her contacts, she has Egg Boiz 1,2, and 3, before her thumb lingers on top of her "Dad". However, she was hesitant to call her dad]''

Husk: What's the holdup? You got daddy issues?

Charlie: No, we just have never been close. After he and mom split, he never really wanted to see me. He calls, sometimes, but only if he's bored or like needs me to do something.

[Husk was aware that this is just an excuse that Charlie does have issues with her dad and turns to the others.]

Husk: Daddy issues.

Angel Dust: Well I'd like to meet the big dick in charge.

[Niffty was holding a knife in her hands.]

Niffty: The ultimate bad boy. [laughs like a gremlin with excitement, holding a knife while Angel takes her knife away without her knowing] I bet he's scary. ''[Scene cuts to Lucifer's house, showing framed photos of his family in a dark spooky room. Lucifer can be heard making snarling noise as he was working on something. As the sentence goes, his room is revealed to be filled with a lot of rubber ducks, and stacks of them filled the boxes and tubs.]''

Lucifer: That's it. Almost there. Now presenting... the magic-tastical back flipping rubber duck! Haha! That spits fire! [rubber duck shoots flamethrower from its mouth] Hoo hoo hoo! Hold the applause please, okay. Oh, thank you, thank you. Oh god, who am I kidding? This sucks.

''[He throws the rubber duck at his family portrait and looks sad. Suddenly his ringtone plays. he picks up his phone, and was shocked who was calling him.]''

Lucifer: Daughter? Daughter! Daughter calling?! OH! Uhm uh, uh hello, Charlie. He-ey, hey, hey Char-Char. No, no! That's not good. Oh, this is the first time she's called you. Yes, this has to be perfect. [picks up phone] Hey~ bitch!

[Intercut conversation between Lucifer and Charlie during the phone call from the hotel to his house.]

Charlie: Hi, Dad.

Lucifer: Hey! How are you? Oh ho ho. Where-where are you these days?

Charlie: You know where I am Dad. I've told you before.

Lucifer: You have? Oh, yeah uh, well, you know, I uh-

Charlie: I told you when you called me five months ago, or did you not listen?

Lucifer: No, no, no, no. Just, you know, just forgot. You know, I've just been really busy, you know, with, um, important things. [kicks rubber duck]

Charlie: Well, I'm actually running a hotel to rehabilitate sinners. Maybe you saw our commercial?

Lucifer: Oh, sadly, I missed it. heh heh. You know, I haven't been watching much TV lately. Scrambles the brain. [makes silly noises]. But hey! A hotel, fun.

Charlie: (Sighs) Listen Dad, I've got kind of a big ask.

Lucifer: [coughs and sets down his tea] Yeah, of course. Anything in my power is yours for the asking. You just name it~

Charlie: I need to speak to Heaven. Well, whoever's in charge up there, above Adam, above anybody. I need to go to the top.

Lucifer: Oh, no. No~ No, no, no, no, Charlie, no, no, no. That's, uh hah, no.

Charlie: [angrily] Look Dad, [normal] I don't ask you for much, I never have, but this, this is really important to me. It's the most important thing I've ever done. And I...need you. I need your help.

Lucifer: I don't know, Charlie.

Charlie: Please! Just come see what I'm trying to do. You'll see why it's a really good idea. And Heaven is bound to agree if I get the chance to talk to them. Please, Dad.

Lucifer: Wait, you're...inviting me over?! Absolutely! Oh, I'll be there in an hour. [hangs up] My daughter wants to see me~ [ponts at the rubber duck below him] Take that, depression!

[Back at the hotel, Charlie and Vaggie prepare for Lucifer's arrival.]

Charlie: Welp, we have an hour until he gets here.

Vaggie: Okay people, [Everyone stands at attention, but Husk spills coffee over himself and Niffty collapses on the floor.] Lucifer is on his way. So we are going to get this place presentable and we are going to make an amazing impression. Vamanos!

''[Everyone scatters to get the place tidy and ready for Luficer. Sir Pentious and Niffty bakes cookies, then Niffty starts sweeping and Husk is cleaning up. Alastor walks in and watches Razzle and Dazzle put up a "Wellcum Daddy" banner up. Angel puts on some makeup before closing the mirror, revealing to be Niffty staring creepily at him, making Angel recoil back in surprise.]''

Charlie: [sighs] Okay everyone, it's showtime!

[Charlie opens the door, revealing to be Lucifer, excited to see his daughter.]

Lucifer: Charlie!

Charlie: Hey, Da-

''[Charlie doesn't get to finish because Lucifer hugs her really tight like a bear. Unbeknownst to any of them, Alastor was right behind them, with his wicked smile strained and left eye twitching in anger when Alastor saw Lucifer.]''

Lucifer: [hugs Charlie] Oh it's so good to see you. Haha!

Charlie: *strained* It's uh, good to see you too, Dad.

[Lucifer lets go of Charlie to give her a breather.]

Charlie: [clears throat] Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!

''[Two Egg Boiz pops some party poppers as a warm welcome. KeeKee curls up to Lucifer and rubs her face against his legs. Lucifer notices her and goes all enchanted by her cuteness. He knees and rubs her head.]''

Lucifer: Oh hewwo KeeKee.

[Razzle and Dazzle flies by and Lucifer greets them,]

Lucifer: Razzle, Dazzle. Oh[makes endearing noises] look how much you haven't grown. Still fun sized. You taking care of my wittle girl? [speaks in a very deep ominous threatening tone] You better be. [snickers] Wow! This place sure looks, uh...uh huh yah uh huh...It's got a lot of character!

[Lucifer finds the bar at the corner and was immediately repulsed by it.]

Lucifer: OH, what in the unholy hell is that?!

[Alastor reappears from the fog and in front of Angel Dust.]

Alastor: Just some of the renovations we had done. Adds a bit of color, don't you think?

[Lucifer looked at him suspiciously, and points his stick at him.]

Lucifer: And you are?

[Alastor reappears behind Lucifer, catching his attention.]

Alastor: Alastor. Pleasure to be meeting you, sir. Quite a pleasure. It's nice to finally put a face to the name. [indicates the height by the camera]. You are much shorter in real life.

Lucifer: Who is this? Who is this man? Are you the bellhop?

Alastor: Aha! No! I am the host of the hotel. You might have heard of me from my radio broadcast.

Lucifer: Hmm, nope! I guess that's why Charlie called it the Has-been Hotel, ahaha.

Alastor: Ha ha ha. It was actually my idea.

Lucifer: Ahaha. Well, it's not very clever.

Alastor: Ha ha! Fuck you.

[With each sentence, Alastor and Lucifer was getting closer to fighting when they are insulting each other before Charlie gets in the way to stop them in between.]

Charlie: Okay! Okay, anyway. Dad, look at this lovely parlor where people can get to know each other and share secrets and stories and intimate feelings! Without Alastor, we wouldn't have been able to pretty it up this much.

Alastor: Charlie has a very unique vision. I am happy to fulfil her bizarre requests.

''[Alastor places hand on her shoulder. Lucifer was shocked that he is winning over Charlie more than he is, which makes him very angry to the point where he growls in frustration.]''

Charlie: Oh, thank you, Alastor.

Alastor: Quite an impressive young lady. We're all very proud of her.

Lucifer: Ahem, Charlie! Dear, eheh, why don't you introduce me to your OTHER friends?

''[Lucifer walks right between them before pointing his stick to the others at the table. Angel Dust tries to get a cookie from Sir Pentious, but he doesn't want Angel touching the cookies without Lucifer trying them and hides them underneath him.]''

Charlie: Oh, yes, of course. This is Vaggie, she's my girlfriend.

Lucifer: Oh my golly! You like girls? Yes, so do I. We have so much in common! You put her there Maggie. Hey! [hugs her] Oh yeah. She's so pretty.

Vaggie: Lovely to meet you, uh, sir.

Charlie: And this is Sir Pentious and Angel Dust, our guests!

[Pentious hears his name being called and stands at attention, making a salute to him.]

Sir Pentious: Your Majesty!

[Pentious falls down into the cookies right before Angel Dust takes one for himself.]

Angel Dust: Heya short king.

Charlie: Husk is our bartender and Niffty is our housekeeper.

Husk: Nice to meet you.

[Niffty was super-excited to meet the ultimate bad boy that she scurries over and climbs up on his coat.]

Niffty: Hello. I clean [laughs].

''[Suddenly the chandelier falls and produces a huge amount of dust which makes everyone cough. Lucifer and Alastor were at the chandelier when Lucifer knows Alastor did that on purpose.]''

Lucifer: [Laughs]. Alright then.

[With one swing of his own stick, the fallen chandelier disappears and starts to sing the song, Hell's Greatest Dad to Charlie.]

Lucifer: ♪ Looks like you could use some help. ♪

♪ From the big boss of Hell himself.♪

♪ Check your daddy’s glowing reviews on Yelp! ♪

Lucifer puppets: ♪ “5 stars!” “Flawless!” “Greater than great!” ♪

Lucifer: ♪ With a punch of a pentagram.

♪ A wam! Bam! Boom! Alakazam! ♪

♪ Usually I charge a sacrificial lamb. ♪

♪ But you get the family rate! “Thanks dad!” ♪

♪ Who needs a busboy now that you’ve got the chef? Michelin tasting menu free a la carte. ♪

♪ I'll rig the game for you because I’m the ref! Champaign fountains, caviar mountains, that’s just to start! ♪

Alastor: ♪ Who’s been here since day one? ♪

♪ Who’s been faithful as a nun? ♪

♪ Who makes you chuckle with an old-timey pun? Your executive producer! ♪

Charlie: *spoken* That’s true!

Alastor: ♪ I’m your guy! Your day to day. ♪

♪ Your chum, your steadfast hotelier. ♪

♪ Remember when I fixed that clog today? ♪

Niffty: *spoken* I was stuck, thank you sir!

Charlie: Oh you!

Alastor: ♪ I'm truly honoured that we’ve built such a bond.

Charlie: Awwww!

Alastor: ♪ You’re like the child that I wish that I had. ♪

Lucifer: Uh, what?

Alastor: ♪ I care for you just like a daughter I spawned. ♪

Lucifer: Hold on now!

Alastor: ♪ It’s a little funny! You could almost call me DAD! ♪

''[Angered, Lucifer plays golden fiddle aggressively as he advanced to Alastor. Alastor plays piano aggressively. Lucifer then plays the accordian.]''

Alastor: ♪ They say when you’re looking for assistance. ♪

♪ It's wise to choose the path with least resistance! ♪

Lucifer: Others say that in your needy hour.

♪ There's no substitute for pure angelic power! ♪

♪ Who just happens to also be your blood! ♪

Alastor: ♪ Sadly there are times a birth parent is a dud. ♪

♪ They say the family you choose is better! ♪

Lucifer: *sing talking* ♪ What a bunch of losers! ♪

Alastor: ♪ Can you butt out of my song? ♪

Lucifer: ♪ Your song?!? I started it! ♪

Alastor: ♪ I’m singing it! I’ll finish it! ♪

Lucifer: ♪ Oh you tacky piece of—! ♪

[Right before Lucifer and Alastor could get at each other's throats to kill, the front door opens, and a smaller, but obese demon, Mimzy, came crashing in.]

Mimzy: ♪ It’s me! Yes it’s me! ♪

♪ I know you were all waiting for me! ♪

♪ I'm here! What a gas! ♪

♪ Took a while but I’m present at last! ♪

♪ It’s me! It’s me! ♪

♪ Mimzy! ♪

''[As song ends, everyone in the hotel were perplexed of their new house guest in the front. None of them spoke until Lucifer breaks the ice with a question.]''

Lucifer: Who?

Mimzy: Didn’t you just hear me? Why is everybody gawking? Is it cuz I’m adorable?

Alastor: Mimzy!

Mimzy: Alastor! Sweetie, Doll-face, So good to see you! How’ve you been? Good? Good.

[Mimzy and Alastor hug each other.]

Mimzy: Listen, I was in the neighbourhood. I heard you were staying at this ritzy slob factory, so I figured I’d stop by and say hi! For old times sake.

Alastor: Of course, sweetheart! Everyone is welcome here!

Charlie: Oh, how nice! So you two know each other?

Mimzy: Oh yeah, we go way back, ran in the same circles when we were alive. You know, this one used to frequent the club where I used to perform. He’s the only one I knew who could pound whiskey like a sailor then keep up with me on the dance floor!

Alastor: Oh, quite a talent, this gal. Ho ho! You should’ve seen her in her hayday!

Mimzy: Hey, watch it, tall, dark and creepy! I’m still in my prime!

[Mimzy spots Lucifer in the open, and was immediately infuriated with the sight of the King of Hell.]

Mimzy: Oh, oh my stars! *gasps* Is that Lucifer? *pushes Pentious of the way* Move it! Please to meet ya! Your highness. *whispering* Alastor, you gotta earn a gal when she’s in mixed company.

Lucifer: Charmed, I’m sure.

Alastor: As much as I’d love to catch up, Charlie and I have a tour to continue.

{Lucifer heard this and takes his daughter by the arms before dragging her front.]

Lucifer: I’m sure Charlie can handle showing me around.

[Alastor appears in front of them.]

Alastor: Nonsense! *grabs Charlie and drags her forward* We started the hotel together, and we’ll show it off together. Right, Charlie?

[Alastor stops dragging Charlie so she can be the one to lead the tour for her father.]

Charlie: Oh, right.

[As Charlie leads on with Vaggie and Lucifer following behind, Alastor turns to Mimzy.]

Alastor: Why don’t you let the others help you settle in, and I’ll be back before you know it.

''[And with that, Alastor leaves to follow the tour. Mimzy turns to the bar and walks up to get a drink.]''

Mimzy: So, where can a girl get a drink around here?

''[Husk doesn't like Mimzy's company and groans in irritation as he cleans a glass. Mimzy takes a seat and notices him.]''

Mimzy: My, my, is that Husker? Alastor still has you slinging hooch for him, I see. *chuckles* Classic! How’ve ya been, fur ball?

Husk: Good! Until five minutes ago.

Mimzy: Oh, don’t tell me you’re not happy to see me! You might hurt my feelings! *giggles*

{While Husker gets a drink for Mimzy, she turns to Niffty who was looking for the bugs that were scattering on the floor.]

Mimay: Hey Niffty, whatcha been up to, girlie?

Niffty: Fighting bugs.

Mimzy: And uh, how’s that going for ya?

[Niffty turns to one of the bug she sees.]

Niffty: They’re winning, *sadistically pulls out a large knife with a insane smile* but not for long.

Mimzy: Uh huh… *a glass was given to her* thanks, pussy cat!

Husk: Oh, fuck you.

[As Husk leaves the bar, Angel and Pentious takes up a seat right next to her.]

Angel Dust: So uh, you and Alastor are like, what? Friends?

Mimzy: Well, that’s your word, not mine, but I think it fits. Why so surprised?

Angel Dust: Well, I just didn’t know he had any of those. He’s been here a while and he’s still a big, creepy mystery. What’s his deal?

''[Mimzy begins her tale by making a short flashback story of how Alastor came to be. In the Dark Age of the INdustrial Revolution, demons were busy drinking themselves only for Alastor to take one drink and leaves. Demons dismissed him as another sinner, but then, in a dark alley, the Overlord demon was cornered by a sinister Alastor, before the next female overlord was the victim. One by one, more overlord Demons disappeared, leaving only Alastor to reign supreme over all the others. Then, a radio tower sends neon green signal waves all over hell.]''

Mimzy: Well, you’ve probably heard the stories. He appeared in Hell suddenly, making a splash quicker than anyone had ever seen. At first, people wanted to dismiss him. but soon, overlords started going missing, and not small ones neither. We’re talking heavy hitters. No one knew what happened to them, until these strange radio broadcasts started going out. All you could hear was screams. Every time an overlord went missing, there’d be a new voice screaming in the broadcast! That’s when Alastor revealed himself as the radio demon, and anyone who dared to mess with him… *chuckles* well, let’s just say, his broadcasts never lacked new voices.

[The flashback story ends to the present where Mimay was concluding her tale of Alastor before getting back to being nonchalant about him]

Mimzy:That’s the story most people know, but underneath it all… he’s a total sweetie! Put on some jazz and pour a couple fingers of rye and he becomes a kitten!

[As Mimzy concludes her story, Angel and Pentious were spooked by Alastor's dark history in hell while Mimzy doesn't seemed bothered by their disturbance.]

Mimzy: Oh, stop with the looks. He hasn’t done any of that in a while. *raises a glass* Husk, can I get another one of these?

[Mimzy realized that Husk is nowhere in the bar or in the lobby, much to her annoyance..]

Mimzy: Oh what the fuck?! [In the creepy dark hallways, Charlie was showing her father about the interiors of the hotel.

Charlie: So, once we have the proof that redemption is possible, this whole hotel will be full of demons waiting to check out into heaven! We just need a little time to prove it. The sharing circles haven’t been working as fast as I hoped.

{While Charlie was in the middle of explaining everything to her father, Husk calls his owner from out of nowhere.]

Husk: Hey, boss. Can I have a word?

[Alastor stops and twists his head 180 degrees to have his face turn to him before his body rotates.]

Alastor: What is it?

Husk: You and I know both know Mimzy only shows up when she needs something. That bitch is trouble, and who knows what kind of demon she fucked with to come running to you this time?

Alastor: it’s nothing I can’t handle. Don’t worry Husker. Who in their right mind would cross me?

Husk: I mean, you’ve been gone for a while, and it’s not like anybody knows why.

Alastor: They don’t need to know, and don’t worry your fuzzy little head about it.

{Alastor rubs Husk's ears which angers him.]

Husk: *growls* You may own my soul, but I’m not your fucking pet!

Alastor: *chuckles* But you are! Haha!

[Alastor turns around to join back with the tour.]

Husk: *whispering* Big talk for someone who’s also on a leash.

''[Alastor immediately halts after hearing this, his eyes turned into radio dials. The lights in the hallway flickered from his anger rising. Slowly, Alastor looks over his shoulder to Husk.]''

Alastor: Aha, what did you say?

''[Before Husk could even respond, a green chain pulls his neck before Husk was forced down. The demon realizes what he's done and tries to come up with an excuse.]''

Husk: uhh, nothing! I, uhm…

''[Husk didn't know how to respond as Alastor slowly approaches him with the green chain twirling from his mic-stick. The more he steps closer, the lights flickers on and off from his anger.]''

Alastor: If you ever say that again, I will tear your soul apart and broadcast your screams for every other disrespectful wretch who dares to question me!

{Alastor's threat makes Husk shiver in fear when he realizes he had crossed too far with him.]

Husk: *scared* Understood.

[The lights turn back to normal, and Alastor is back to his old jolly good self.]

Alastor: Lovely. *chuckles* Good talk, my good man! Always nice to catch up.

''[Alastor leaves the shaking Husk on the floor. Husk was too scared to even move, and was left shivering in fear.]'' [Back to the tour, Vaggie was taking her turn explaining more about the hotel's role to redeeming demons so they can go to Heaven, most notably Angel Dust.]

Vaggie: And we’ve been able to find almost all of Angel Dust’s drug stashed… almost.

Charlie: So, once that’s out of the way, it should be much smoother sailing!

Lucifer: Well that certainly is, uhh… is something.

Charlie: So, what do you think?

Lucifer: About what?

Charlie: The hotel.

Lucifer: Oh! Yes! It does look much better now, doesn’t it? *chuckles* But you know, I think this railing needs work, one good push and you’d just go right over the edge! Whoopie! Bye bye! *chuckles*

Charlie: What? No, no, the plan, Dad! What do you think about the plan of using the hotel to help sinners?

[Now matter how much Lucifer hates to admit it, he wants Charlie to get one thing straight about what her plans are going.]

Lucifer: *exhales* Alright, I mean, look, I love that you want to see the best in people, these sinners, you know, they’re just the worst. I don’t know how much you can realistically expect from them, and Heaven? *Adjusts his collar* Hohooo boy, Heaven, is not exactly as carefree as you might think. They have rules, lots of rules, and they aren’t very open minded as you’d hope.

Charlie: These are our people, Dad, I… I have to try!

Lucifer: Our “people” Charlie, are awful! They got gifted free will and look what they did with it! Everything’s terrible! *wheeze* I just don’t want you to put yourself on the line for people like—

[Lucifer was interrupted when a loud thud shakes the hotel, rocking the three of them on the balcony.]

Vaggie: Geez! What now?!

Lucifer: Well, like that.

''[To prove his point, Lucifer gesture to a dozens of loan shark demon mafia on the ground holding a battering ram. The loan shark mafia were armed to the teeth with guns, melee weapons, and a battering ram as they ram the front door open. The leader of the loan shark mafia looks up at the balcony.]''

Loan shark: Mimzy! We know you’re in there you lousy bitch!

[Inside, the lobby, Mimzy realizes that the loan shark mafia found her and cartoonishly goes down in a sheepish wince, now already busted.]

Mimzy: Oh shit.

[A portal opens up by Lucifer and all three of them return to the lobby as the loan shark mafia continues to ram the front door.]

Vaggie: Que Carajo?! (What the fuck?!)

Charlie: What’s going on?!

Mimzy: I maaaaaay be in trouble with some loan sharks. I may or may not have borrowed 50 grand from—*loud thud* Eep!

[Scared, Mimzy cowards behind the bar counter to hide before peeking up to Charlie and Vaggie.]

Loan shark: You better come out!

Mimzy: And I may have also stolen a car… and crashed it… into the loan shark’s girlfriend, but that bitch had it coming!

''[Before Charlie and Vaggie could even respond, the windows and the walls were barraged with fireballs from the outside. The windows crashed and the floors are meteored with the fireballs.. Charlie and Vaggie screamed as more fireballs came raining on them. Niffty was horrified that the windows were destroyed after cleaning it so long ago. Angel Dust scoots back to his seat after a fireball nearly hits him.]''

Niffty: My windows!

[Pentious realized what was happening while he was still holding his baked cookies.]

Sir Pentious: Ah! We’re under siege! *dodges a fireball* Ah! Take cover!

''[Everyone in the hotel scrambles in panic and defense as more fireballs fall down on them. Charlie dodges one of the fireballs close to her. Niffty was nearly crushed by one fireball before Angel picks her up, shocked.]''

Vaggie: Look out!

Angel Dust: What the fuck?!

''[Angel throws Niffty out of the way, but she scurries around all over the lobby while Lucifer remains composed, oblivious to their dire situation. The lobby was on fire from the fireballs. Husk tries to put out the fire close to his bar, stomping on it in anger while Mimzy hides behind the counter. Angel runs for cover, and Pentious can be heard screaming as fireballs meteor through the windows. While veryone finds come cover, Lucifer gives Charlie a lecture that makes her angry enough to where her left eye twitches.]''

Lucifer: You see? This is exactly what I’m talking about Charlie. You build something nice, you invite people in and offer them everything and they just bring violence and chaos to your doorstep. It doesn’t matter how well intentioned you are, they’re always going to disappoint you.

[Niffty was on the floor recovering the windows that were shattered, unaware that falling debris was about to crush her.]

Sir Pentious: Niffty! Come along!

''{Pentious grabs Niffty before debris nearly crush her. Vaggie appears with her spear ready at arms.]''

Vaggie: All of you! Get to a safe distance, I’ll handle this.

[Before Vaggie could go out to deal with the mafia, Alastor appears out of nowhere and places a hand on Vaggie's spear to lower it.]

Alastor: No, my dear, leave it to me. It’s time I remind everyone why I am here.

''[Upon saying those sentence, Alastor turns demonic with his eyes turning to a radio dial. Mimzy pops up from the counter.]''

Mimzy: Oh, finally! Took you long enough!

''[Alastor goes into his demonic form as a green aura lights up from the outside. The mafia outside were just about to reload theri catapult when they notices the eerie greenish glow before Alastor turns to his sinister demon form.]''

Alastor: A reminder to all, not to mess with the radio demon! *evil laugh*

''[With Alastor now in his demon form, he expands his tentacle tendrils outside where one smashes the catapult, the other killing several of the mafia gangsters. THe mafia realize what they were facing and retreats with body parts being spreaded all over the hole on the door.]''

Mimzy: Yeah!

[Alastor's body grows larger and limbs become longer before exiting the front door with a sinister grin.]

Alastor: I will devour each and every one of you!

''[Alastor heads out to massacre the mafia for attacking the hotel. As he exits the front door, Mimzy, Charlie, and Lucifer came by to watch the bloodbath. Charlie was totally appalled that Alastor is truly terrifying and maliciously monstrous. Lucifer nodded once to make his point. From the back point of view from the camera, Lucifer lectures Charlie about the sinners while Alastor devours and kills the mafia outside.. Body parts spread all over the front door, while Lucifer was oblivious to the mess.]''

Lucifer: Mhm, you see? What did I tell you? Charlie, sinners are violent psychopaths who are hell bent on causing as much pain and destruction as they can. There’s really no point in trying.

Charlie: Dad! Stop! He’s defending this hotel! *turning to see Alastor eating a mafia loan shark* It may be a bit more sadistic than I’d hoped, but he’s doing it for me! How come he can have faith in me but my own father can’t?

[Nearby, behind the turned table, Angel, Pentious, and Husk saw the melodrama that was occurring between Lucifer and Charlie.]

Angel Dust: Ooh, drama.

[Excited, Angel brings up a bucket of popcorn to watch the scene as Husk picks up a handful to eat on.] [Outside, Alastor nas finished massacring the mafia as he reverts back to his usual self, now satisfied that he's killed a lot of demons today.]

Alastor: Oh, I missed getting to let off steam!

[Mimzy checks outside if the coast was clear before approaching to Alastor.]

Mimzy: Oh, Alastor! What a fantastic show! Bravo! As always. Thanks for helping lil' old me out of a tougher spot, you’re always such a pal!

[A railroad debris falls close to Mimzy, making her back away in surprise.]

Mimzy: Oops. Heheh… sorry about the mess, but I’m sure the little bug can take care of it for you.

Alastor: I think you should go Mimzy, now.

Mimzy: Oh pff, Alastor, you’re such a kidder you! Haha, you are so funny!

Alastor: I mean it. You deliberately brought danger to this place just to have me clean up your mess. I can’t have that here.

Mimzy: But you love taking care of me! You don’t actually give a shit about this tacky place, do ya? Come on, I know you.

[Mimzy pokes his chest with every word in the sentence.]

Mimzy: You *pokes his chest* heartless *pokes* son *pokes* of *pokes* a *pokes* bitch.

''[Alastor casually moves her finger away. He moves around Mimzy before standing in front of her with his microphone stick placed in front.]''

Alastor: You are welcome if you actually want to give redemption a shot, but I think we both know that’s not really your style, so you need to leave.

Mimzy: Fine! Who needs you? Have fun with your little princess and your little hotel! See if I care!

[Insulted and offended, Mimzy turns around and flips Alastor off before walking away.]

''[Husk was rather amused before turning back to the melodrama between Charlie and Lucifer, now with a bucket of popcorn of his own. Angel has his, but he also has a drink to go along with it. Pentious was holding a TV guide by Vox.]''

Angel Dust: This is really getting good.

[In a heartfelt scene, Lucifer retreats to the lobby while Charlie follows him behind.]

Charlie: Dad, just… help me.

Lucifer: I… I can’t.

Charlie: Why can’t you?

Lucifer: Charlie! You don’t understand. Heaven never listens! They didn’t listen to me, they won’t listen to you!

Charlie: You don’t know that!

Lucifer: I do!

[With tears filling his eyes, Lucifer begins to express his feelings through a song, More Than Anything.]

Lucifer: ♪ You, didn’t know that when ♪

♪ I tried this all before, my dreams were to hard to defend. ♪

♪ And in the end, ♪

♪ I won’t lose it all again. Now you’re the only thing worth fighting for. ♪

♪ More than anything, more than anything. ♪

♪ I'll shelter and adore you more than anything. ♪

Charlie: *spoken* Dad, I don’t need you to protect me from this.

Lucifer: I just don’t want you to be crushed by them like… like I was.

Charlie: Dad… ♪ When I was young, I didn’t really know you at all. ♪

''[In a flashback scene, a young Charlie saw her father by his workshop who looked all sad and moopy. He notices her and takes her into his lap to show her some magic. A silhouette of Lilith appears before taking Charlie away. Charlie looks at her father sadly while Lucifer gazes at her with sadness too.]''

♪ I always felt so small. ♪

♪ But I heard your stories and I was enthralled. ♪

♪ The tales about your lofty dreams. ♪

♪ I listened breathlessly. ♪

♪ Imagining it could be me. ♪

♪ So in the end, it's the view I had of you, that showed me dreams can be worth fighting for. ♪

[Flashback ends to the present.]

♪ More than anything, more than anything. ♪

♪ I need to save my people more than anything. ♪

Lucifer: ♪ I’ve been dying to find out who you are. ♪

Charlie: I’ve been waiting, ♪

♪ wanting the same thing. ♪

Lucifer: ♪ Looks like the apple doesn’t fall far. ♪

Charlie: ♪ Took you a while. ♪

Lucifer: ♪ I’ve missed that smile. ♪

Charlie and Lucifer: ♪ All that I’m hoping, ♪

♪ now that my eyes are open, is that we can start again. ♪

♪ not be pulled apart again. Cause in the end, you’re a part of who I am. ♪

Lucifer: ♪ I’ll support your dream whatever lies in store. ♪

Charlie: ♪ And who could ask for more? ♪

Lucifer: ♪ More than anything, ♪

Charlie: ♪ More than anything, ♪

Lucifer: ♪ More than anything. ♪

Charlie: ♪ More than anything. ♪

Charlie and Lucifer: I’m grateful you’re my (Charlie: father) /(Lucifer: daughter) more than anything. More than anything.

''[As the song ends, Lucifer and Charlie returns to the lobby after traveling across the dimension to a mystical place. Pentious was teary after seeing the sweet tendered moment between the father and the daughter.]''

Sir Pentious: *spoken* Aww, that was ssssweet.

Lucifer: Ok, I can get you the meeting but once you’re in Heaven, I won’t be able to go with you. Will you be ok?

Charlie: I’ll be fine.

Lucifer: That’s my girl. *sighs* Good luck kiddo.

''[And with that, Lucifer turns into a violet red mist before disappearing away from the lobby. Vaggie comes over to talk to Charlie with uncertainty.]''

Vaggie: This next part is going to be scary. Are you ready?

Charlie: I’m ready, *hugs Vaggie* cuz you’ll be with me.

Vaggie: In spirit, right?

Charlie: In Heaven!

Vaggie: Yay…

''[Vaggie's face winced at the thought of going to Heaven and tells that it was not going to be a very good thing, especially when her face saids, "Shit..." as the episode ends.]''

Папочки ссорятся/Транскрипт