Moxxie/Quotes

The Pilot
"We can't afford a billboard, sir."

- Moxxie, about Blitzo's suggestion

"I don't need any reminding, sir, considering you blew most of our salaries on an obnoxious TV ad last week. One that you additionally had paid to run a full three hours on a channel nobody watches!"

- Moxxie, about their company jingle "OKAY, sir! I'm sorry, a commercial jingle is not comparable to musical theatre! NOBODY ACTUALLY LIKES THE JINGLES!!"

- Moxxie, claiming nobody likes commercial jingles "I'd like to go on record and say that incident was Loona's fault. Dispatch is supposed to give us the RIGHT info on the target. It's very simple."

- Moxxie, blaming Loona for the screw-up "YOU sit! Sit on…a…and the di- DO YOUR JOB!!""

- Moxxie, trying to think of a comeback towards Loona

"Are you kidding, sir? She's awful."

- Moxxie, about Loona's behavior "Um, e-excuse me. Did you just fax me an ad for weight loss?? ... Wa-- Why- Why would anyone send me this??"

- Moxxie, asking Loona about his weight loss ad

"We aren't a family, sir. You are the boss, we are the employees."

- Moxxie, disagreeing with Blitzo's statement about their company being a family

"WHAT THE?! WHY ARE YOU IN OUR FRIDGE?!"

- Moxxie, to Blitzo

"I was dreaming my parents were being murdered…but now I'd like to go back to that."

- Moxxie, to Blitzo

"🎵 Of all the Imps in Hell, it's for her that I fell. Oh, Millie~ 🎵"

- The final lines of the song "Oh Millie"

"Are you FUCKING filming us right now?!"

- Moxxie, realizing that he and Millie were being filmed by Blitzo

"Just. Stop. Doing. That."

- Moxxie, to Blitzo

Murder Family
"I'm sorry. They just seemed so wholesome and happy. I panicked."

- Moxxie, crying to Blitzo after a panic attack "Maybe like a shitty dad... or a mob family... (Italian accent) That's understandable. (normal) But to eradicate an entire innocent--seemingly innocent--upper middle class family bloodline?!?"

- Moxxie, to Millie

"But... Ho- Hold on, hold on! Let's just think about this--"

- Moxxie, before fumbling Blitzo's shot

"*disturbing froglike wheeze* I'm sorry..... they just seemed so wholesome and happy! I panicked!!"

- Moxxie, after fucking up Blitzo's shot at Martha

"I'm sorry, sir. I compromised our objective and put us in harm's way. It won't happen again, I promise."

- Moxxie, apologizing for screwing up "I will call your Earthly authorities and they will make sure you are dealt with, fairly. I'm handling this, my way."

- Moxxie to Ralphie

"Do you have a phone to summon 911?"

- Moxxie after he accidentally turns on the TV

Loo Loo Land
"Oh crumbs. I knew today would be a lot. What do you need? Antacid, Ibuprofen, Morphine?"

- Moxxie asking Octavia

"Oh, right... But she said it was literal..."

- Moxxie, to himself

"That is deeply upsetting."

- Moxxie talking about his opinion on the animatronic

"No. Theme parks always disturbed me. Especially the mascots."

- Moxxie, expressing his strong dislike for theme parks and mascots

"Don't talk to me! I KNOW you're a pervert under there!"

- Moxxie calling out a Loo Loo Land mascot

"Yeah…The prices do seem rather criminal. I mean, that much for a novelty cup that you use one time?"

- Moxxie talking to Millie about the Novelty cups "A- are you KIDDING me?! You... you... you CHARLATAN!"

- Moxxie, to the carnie imp

"The "everything is now on fire" kind."

- Moxxie to Stolas

"Way to ruin another good thing, sir."

- Moxxie telling to Blitzo

Spring Broken
"YOU dated a pop star?!"

- Moxxie, to Blitzo

"I just…is she blind?! Suffering some form of brain damage?"

- Moxxie, about Verosika

"You do that all the time, sir!"

- Moxxie, after Blitzo claims he doesn't pry into others' personal lives

"Touché."

- Moxxie, after being called out for his hypocrisy "Sir... how about you let me go in and try to reason her? I don't really listen to what's classified and "pop genre" music, so her status to me is name recognition alone.... ....In my opinion, her music is a bit derivative of--"

- Moxxie, to Blitzo "Hello, Miss Verosika, was it? I work for I.M.P, and it is actually rather important for us to retain the singular parking space we were assigned, because-"

- Moxxie, confronting Verosika before being cut off by one of her crewmates "I... I gotta go lie down.... now...."

- Moxxie, after being attacked by Verosika and her crew "I think you're missing the biggest issue, sir. Isn't it crucial to have a client that demands enough kills to win this bet? We aren't just going up to massacre!"

- Moxxie, pointing out flaws in Blitzo's plan "Miiillllieeeeeeeeee!!!! Hiiiii!! Heyy... hey when did you get four heads? I wanna kiss 'em.... *smoooooochh*"

- Drunk Moxxie, talking to Millie "Ooooh. Fish."

- Drunk Moxxie

"I love that woman."

- Drunk Moxxie, referring to Millie

"This is funny. I'm sooooo drinky."

- Drunk Moxxie

"Oh Satan! Hehehe. You gon' be so FAAAAHHCKED!...."

- Drunk Moxxie

"A human called me a possum. I am NOT a possum!"

- Drunk Moxxie, telling Verosika that one person mistook him for a possum

C.H.E.R.U.B
"I’m not “panicking,” because hellquakes don’t happen."

- Moxxie, after being accused of panicking "Guys, help! Losing... ox...!"

- Moxxie, while being crushed by the wall "That's kind of hot."

- Moxxie, regarding Loopty Goopty wanting to torture Lyle Lipton for eternity "Should we... go in there and tie it for him?"

- Moxxie, asking what to do since Lyle's going to kill himself "Lyle Lipton, it is our...humble opinion that you should continue the process to commit die."

- Moxxie, to Lyle Lipton "I have some assault weapons, crossbow, hunting bow, tommy gun, old-fashioned shotgun, revolvers in three colors, chainsaws, katanas--"

- Moxxie, listing what's in his weaponry stash "Oh, and you three are so superior to us just because we want some selfish, greedy, authoritarian capitalist to keel over dead!"

- Moxxie, to Collin

"We can’t. There’s literally nothing bad about opera. That’s fact."

- Moxxie, about opera

"Well, well. Would'ya look at that? YOU did our job for us!"

- Moxxie, to C.H.E.R.U.B when Lyle Lipton dies

The Harvest Moon Festival
"Well, Millie likes the idea. ...Wait... where are you calling from? .... Mhm. Of course."

- Moxxie, to Blitzo over the phone

"Greetings, Lin! Joe! How have you been, uh, with all the... flaming twisters, and stuff around here?"

- Moxxie, greeting Millie's parents

"Oh, crumbs. My bad! I am so sorry. I- I didn’t mean to open that wound... sir."

- Moxxie, apologizing to Joe

"You know, more battles were won by technological advances in warfare. I’ve researched the history of weaponry extensively. And it’s inspiring how… for example, the progression of guns utilizing angelic technology has changed the landscape of Hell’s combative… I mean… (says in deep voice) war fun."

- Moxxie, attempting to impress Millie's parents

"Refrain... sir."

- Moxxie, to Blitzo

"Y'know, she can also cheer for me."

- Moxxie, to Lin about competing the Pain Games

"Yeah! I can compete, can’t I?"

- Moxxie, about competing the Pain Games

"I was born here, too! I have some fight in me!"

- Moxxie, to Joe

"Ow... My clavicle!"

- Moxxie, when he broke his clavicle

"Oh, I’mma enter in those games."

- Moxxie, serious on entering the Pain Games

"Mother fuck--!"

- Moxxie, about to receive an elbow drop from a shark

"Alright, so he has the physical advantage. I’m better at other things, like singing!"

- Moxxie, about Striker

"Ugh, what the FUCK?!"

- Moxxie, getting angry when Striker sings an arrogant song about winning the Harvest Moon Pain Games

"Working with him...? WHAT?!"

- Moxxie, to Blitzo about Striker

"Well, that’s troubling."

- Moxxie, suspicious about the door behind Striker's room

"Oh my crumbles! A genuine carmine crafted blessing-tipped rifle! How… How the fuck did he get one o' these?!"

- Moxxie, upon finding out Striker has the possession of the blessing-tipped rifle

"Okay. While l- I’m relatively concerned by your possession of this... I’m also glad my instant dislike of you has been vali--DATED!"

- Moxxie, to Striker

"I'm not good with my hands? ... Ohhhhh... Right. Yeah, yeah. I... I probably should've used this earlier, huh?"

- Moxxie, realizing he's a fucking idiot

"You gonna finish that fucking sentence? Pard'ner?"

- Moxxie, interrupting Striker

"Who’s weak now, BITCH--?!"

- Moxxie, about to fire another shot towards Striker before Loona whacks him with a door

"You know, she protected me. And maybe I'm not a strong, beefy dick-head, but Millie has the strength enough for the both of us! You two are getting on her case for getting hurt by a psychopath YOU hired?! Sshaaaaame on you!!"

- Moxxie, to Millie's parents

"So…is that progress?"

- Moxxie, after Millie walks away on crutches

Truth Seekers
"Pardon my words sir, but you're being the loudest."

- Moxxie when Blitzo falls onto a pile of trash "I... I smell..... colours....."

- Moxxie, after being hit by a tranquilizer dart "I'll have a neapolitan cappuccino, more cappu than cino, make sure it's got no more than four ounces of milk the beans won't have the right texture otherwise, and make sure they spell my name correctly on the cup they always put 'Voxxie' or 'Roxxie' I hate that. If you can't handle that I'll have a venti traditional Misto please use soy milk with two blonde shots affogato AND RISTRETTO, I'd also love three vanilla pumps at the very bottom than add the coffee after than--"

- Moxxie's coffee order

"When you say 'torture' do you mean physical or psychological? Physical seems counterproductive. We would likely tell you anything if it meant an end to the pain, and you would have no way of knowing what was true."

- Moxxie's reply when being threatened with torture by Agent 2.

"It's hard to resist I'm really sorry, I mean considering your approach thus far, you've had us tied here for what HOURS and you haven't even had us confirm what exactly we are."

- Moxxie mocking the agents abilities

"I'm a ViRgO~."

- Moxxie responding to Agent 2's question "PLEASE... don't give them IDEAS, sir..."

- Moxxie, sarcastically while antagonizing the agents with Blitzo "I'm just worried about Millie, she'll be on her way by now I'm sure."

- Moxxie worrying if Millie is alright

"We've never dealt with the human government before, she's in danger."

- Moxxie's responding to Blitzo

"Sir, they're filling this room with something!"

- Moxxie noticing the Truth Gas in the room "I think it's some kind of airborne truth telling serum!"

- Moxxie, about the gas in the room "Just... ask me something specific I wouldn't normally tell you."

- Moxxie, to Blitzo while testing his theory "Sometimes... Wait-- Eww, fuck! Why that?!"

- Moxxie, to Blitzo's question about ever being pegged by Millie "Blitzo? I- I can't see you. God, this smells awful! What's that music? Is this a prank? Because I swear to Satan I--"

- Moxxie, in his acid trip "♫ No, what? How could this be? I've never tried acid, 'shrooms, or DMT! It's a bad trip! Oy Gevault! Of course, Blitzo, this would be your fault! ....... My lungs are full of honesty, would you promise me that you won't judge? .... Not trying to divulge too much, but I'm in too deep, so first of all... FUCK YOU!! This is just typical, well two can play at this game of dismay! 'Cause if YOU'RE here, causing frustration, I'm torturing you in YOUR hallucination!♫"

- Moxxie, singing in his trip "I simply follow your orders, it isn't my fault if your orders are as nonsensical as a sun tanning bed left out on the cold rainy porch of a fresh April shower. I am simply speaking Satan's plain English, perhaps you should crack open a dictionary sometime and then maybe you could understand a half of the frivolous things I carry on and on about."

- Moxxie's hallucination when Blitzo sees him "♫Why does it seem like a recurring theme that you alienate in your toxic routine? ..... Because you're thoughtless, and cruel, and you'll end up ALONE!!♫"

- Moxxie, to Hallucination Blitzo "Admit it, my dear boss; you don't what you're doing half the time! And you depend on me and the missus to manage your foolish flights of fancy."

- Moxxie's hallucination insulting Blitzo

"I believe your subconscious is trying to tell you that you simply cannot fathom proper intimacy but also crave it as well. It's rather unfortunate, sir, considering it's often how you treat those that stand by you such as myself. Are you worried I may have enough of it one day, as well?"

- Moxxie's hallucination before Blitzo's trip starts to devolve

"I remember. You told me I did a good job and that you were proud to work with me, I feel you wanted to say something more judgmental but you said that because I needed it, and it helped."

- Moxxie, to Blitzo about his first day working at I.M.P

"There's my Millie!"

- Moxxie, once Millie shows up "Quick! The book!"

- Moxxie, to Loona "Yes please, I'd like to get back to the correct hell-hole as soon as possible."

- Moxxie, when Stolas shows up

Ozzie's
"Well you better stay jazzed babe, cause guess where I'm taking you tonight."

- Moxxie, to Millie before mentioning Ozzie's

"Actually sir, it's our one year marriage anniversary so I'm taking Millie to Ozzie's in the Lust Ring!"

- Moxxie, to Blizo when he gets interrupts by him.

"Uh no, the reservations is for us. Just us. Without you there. Explicitly without you there."

- Moxxie, when Blitzo says he'll join them to Ozzie's

"Hello everyone. Oh-ahem, hi... thank you for letting me be here, it's an honor to play. This song is for my beautiful wife, a surprise for our first anniversary. I love you Millie."

- Moxxie, before preforming his song in Ozzie's "♫I love you.♫♫More than the brimstone loves the fire♫♫More than Beelze loves her bub♫♫More than a maggot loves gangrenes stubs♫♫You make my spirit sing♫♫Yeah, you make me glad I live in Hell♫ ♫Our love is a story sweet to tell♫♫Yeah you cast a special Satanic spell♫♫Over my heart♫♫Love is a journey we decided to start♫♫Yeah, I hope we'll never ever be apart♫♫I love you (x6)♫"

- Moxxie singing his song to Millie "♫I love us♫♫I love us just the way we are♫♫Don't have to pretend to like to do things we don't♫♫I've always got you around to laugh at my stupid jokes♫♫I'll never take you for granted♫♫I'll always give you my best♫♫And if you can offer the same thing♫♫We'll handle the rest♫♫'Cause I love you♫♫'Cause I love you♫"

- Moxxie, continuing his song

Moxxie/Frases