Blitzo/Quotes

The Pilot
"Hey, excuse me. What's "obnoxious" about a super fun jingle, alright? It's a fun distraction when an advertisement is spittin' bullshit!"

- Blitzo's reply to Moxxie's point

"Are you gonna crush my musical theatre dreams just like my dad did? Cus' right now, all I see is just my dad's ASSHOLE talking to me! Crushing my dreams of being who I truly am inside. I can't believe you, Moxxie, after I made you Employee of the Month!"

- Blitzo, to Moxxie

"Hi there, I'm Blitzo! The "O" is silent, and I'm the founder of I.M.P.! Are you a piece of shit who got yourself sent to Hell, or are you an innocent soul who got FUCKED over by someone else?!"

- Blitzo, advertising the company

"The FUCK is "insurance"?"

- Blitzo, to the doctor

"Hey, we don't blame our screw ups on Loona okay? She didn't do anything wrong~"

- Blitzo, babying Loona

"Happy Adoption Anniversary, Loonie! I gotcha a little somethin'!; I'm sorry! You love spiders!"

- Blitzo, to Loona

"Oh God, it was one time! If I hadn't slept with that privileged ASSHOLE, none of us would have access to the living world!"

- Blitzo, about Stolas

"Sorry I fucked your husband!"

- Blitzo, to Stolas' wife

"Eat this, and you know the bridge over the freeway? Shit off it."

- Blitzo to Loona after destroying his phone due to Stolas' graphic sexual threats

"Look, the point is Loona is a valued member of our family and we don't get rid of family."

- Blitzo, defending Loona

"That is offensive. Without homeless people, I wouldn't have HALF the joy and laughter I do in this life."

- Blitzo, about homeless people

"Spoiler alert, the butter is spoiled."

- Blitzo, to Millie

"Well, Christ on a stick I guess there is a God!"

- Blitzo, before shooting Eddie

Murder Family
"When you set fire to my office in front of a CLIENT, YOU FUCKING DICK-SHIT!!"

- Blitzo, to Moxxie after the latter inquired why he offered to make the kill free after 24 hours

"Now, let's go lick some ass!"

- Blitzo, right before entering a portal to the living world

"No, don't be a puss, we're just killing a mother. We're RUINING a family!"

- Blitzo explaining his plan to Moxxie

"Oh, who the fuck is innocent, Moxxie? From the moment of birth you're already a parasite leeching off your mama's tits, now get the FUCK over yourself you baby dick prune!"

- Blitzo yelling at Moxxie for messing up his shot "Yeah that's not exactly how it works, lady. Sorry, your fire doesn't hurt us, but I mean, I could fake it if that would make your dick hard."

- Blitzo talking to Martha "Apology accepted, but if you ever pull a stunt like this again, I will FUCK you and your wife-Alrighty, job well done, now let's get off!"

- Blitzo accepting Moxxie's apology for messing up his shot

Loo Loo Land
"[Impersonating Millie]: "Oh, Blitzo, you're such a good boss!" [Impersonating Moxxie] "Yeah, I really want you, sir." [Impersonating Millie] "Me too!" [As himself] Let's three-way!"

- Blitzo playing with dolls and fantasizing about a threesome with Moxxie and Millie

"Ah... Look I just had a chemical peel. So you'll have to find someone else's face to plant that feathered ass!"

- Blitzo telling Stolas to fuck someone else

"We're assassins, not bodyguards okay. Don't invite us to SHIT unless someone is gonna die!"

- Blitzo about to reject Stolas to be his bodyguards

"M and M, come over here we're going to Loo Loo Land"

- Blitzo shouting Millie, and Moxxie to get ready for Loo Loo Land

"LOO LOO LAND!!!"

- Blitzo shouting Loo Loo Land out loud

"Ah, wait 'til her dad tries to diddle your holes."

- Blitzo's response to a Loo Loo Land mascot asking if he finds Octavia creepy

"Hey I am not a day hooker! What, I said I'm not one you prude!"

- Blitzo responding to Octavia's comment

"I hate that fucking clown."

- Blitzo and Octavia saying they hate the clown "Hey the "O" is silent now!"

- Blitzo responding to Robo Fizz

"No but I'm really good with guns now. Dance bitch."

- Blitzo to Robo Fizz

"Worth it! That slutty toy clown had it coming."

- Blitzo responding to Moxxie

Spring Broken
"Or I'll, uh um I'll call HR"

- Blitzo arguing with Verosika and Vortex