Blitzo/Quotes

The Pilot
"What's so "obnoxious" about a super fun jingle, alright? It's a fun distraction when an advertisement is spittin' bullshit!"

- Blitzo's reply to Moxxie's point

"Are you gonna crush my musical theatre dreams just like my dad did? Cus' right now, all I see is just my dad's ASSHOLE talking to me! Crushing my dreams of being who I truly am inside. I can't believe you, Moxxie, after I made you Employee of the Month!"

- Blitzo, to Moxxie

"Hi there, I'm Blitzo! The "o" is silent, and I'm the founder of I.M.P. Are you a piece of shit who got yourself sent to Hell, or are you an innocent soul who got FUCKED over by someone else?!"

- Blitzo, advertising the company

"The FUCK is "insurance"?"

- Blitzo, to the doctor

"Hey, we don't blame our screw ups on Loona okay? She didn't do anything wrong~"

- Blitzo, babying Loona

"Happy Adoption Anniversary, Loonie! I gotcha a little somethin'!; I'm sorry! You love spiders!"

- Blitzo, to Loona

"Oh God, it was one time! If I hadn't slept with that privileged ASSHOLE, none of us would have access to the living world!"

- Blitzo, about Stolas

"Sorry I fucked your husband."

- Blitzo, to Stolas' wife

"Eat this, and you know the bridge over the freeway? Shit off it!"

- Blitzo to Loona after destroying his phone due to Stolas' graphic sexual threats

"Look, the point is Loona is a valued member of our family and we don't get rid of family."

- Blitzo, defending Loona

"That is offensive. Without homeless people, I wouldn't have HALF the joy and laughter I do in this life."

- Blitzo, about homeless people

"Spoiler alert, the butter is spoiled."

- Blitzo, to Millie

"Well, Christ on a stick I guess there is a God!"

- Blitzo, before shooting Eddie

Murder Family
"Now, let's lick some ass!"

- Blitzo, right before entering a portal to the living world

"No, don't be a puss, we're just killing a mother. We're ruining a family!"

- Blitzo explaining his plan to Moxxie

"Oh, who the fuck is innocent, Moxxie? From the moment of birth you're already a parasite leeching off your mama's tits, get the fuck over yourself you baby dick prude!"

- Blitzo yelling at Moxxie for messing up his shot