The Circus/Transcript

This is the transcript of Helluva Boss season 2, episode 1: "The Circus".

Episode opens on what is clearly a younger Stolas in his bed.

Young Stolas: [Yawn] my birthday, my birthday, it's my birthday! Yay! Birthday! Birthday! Woohoo! Birthday time!

Servant: Calm yourself young prince, you know excitement is unbecoming of a goetia.

Young Stolas: Oh Right. [Sighs] But father told me today is the day I am old enough to know my purpose and responsibility.

Servant: Of course I'm sure it will be wonderful.

Paimon: Ah, there is my little, uh, [aside to the servant] which son is this one there's so fucking many?

Servant: Stolas your highness

Paimon: Stolas! Yes! Haha right right yeah, that's the one, the owl boy. Well my little one it is finally you day becoming a true part of the goetia family. How good for you. Are you ready to know what you'll be meant to do to serve Hell?

Young Stolas: Yes Father

Paimon: You will be entrusted with the study of the Earth's skies, the stars, the prophecies they hold, all that stuff. Isn't that fun? You will begin the studies of your grimoire which will grant you access to the mortal realm to study and observe and you will grow to be a mighty prince of hell with your own legions to lead and pass on your knowledge to.

Young Stolas: I will do my best Father.

Paimon: Wonderful, also son you are destined to sire a precautionary addition to the goetia family so you are now engaged. Congratulations. Isn't she charming? [he shows young stolas and the viewer a picture of young stella strangling another being, her hair is tied up with pigtails but for the most part she looks the same.]

Young stolas: [begins crying and shying away from the picture]

Paimon: Oh, that's an ugly noise son. Here, how about you cease this bitch crying?

Young Stolas: [continues to cry]

Paimon: that usually works. Oh, would you like it if I took you to the circus in town? Children enjoy the circus, right? would that distract you enough from your non-negotiable future marriage?

Scene changes to Young Stolas, the servant, and Paimon who is not personally present but inside of a magic mirror at the circus. Circusy sounding music plays.

Paimon (whispering): is there a spot that's close to the front but also far enough that I don't have to (sniffs and gags) smell the poor?

Quick jump to Stolas sitting with only the servant and mirror in an otherwise empty bleacher with a sign labeled "Goetia" on it. Various Circus acts begin performing.

Paimon: ohohohohohoho (hes clapping inside of his mirror).

The scene keeps flashing back and forth between the performs and Young Stolas who is very clearly Not Having A Good Time Of It.

Announcer: Now, everyone's favorite thing about circus shit the motherfuckin' clowns! (clowns with glowing eyes leap out at the audience who scream and pull away.)

A foot steps on a plank with an attached jangley bell noise.

Young Fizzarolli: You ready Blitzo?

Young Blitzo: Born ready

Young Fizzarolli and Blitzo leap out to perform together. They pass by Young Stolas who looks up in awe and then blushes. The camera zooms in on Blitzo.

Young Blitzo: ha! Tada~! [Laughter] Hey'a floks, wanna see me make a horse? [young blitzo takes out a balloon and attempts to make a horse several times but it never turns out correctly and keeps popping. The Balloons are all Green.] crap.

The audidence goes from screaming to quiet cricket noises.

Young Blitzo: De-de-de-de-do-do-do-do- Ah, he he, (nervously) Horns! [He's finally made a horse except it has no legs] well, heh, it was a horse but then it ate too much sugar and it's legs stopped working so they had to amputate, now it's a gross worm horse.

Young Stolas: [Begins to laugh, clearly charmed]

Young Blitzo: [points at Young Stolas] See he gets it, because horses, they make no sense.

The camera zooms over to show that Young Fizzarolli has joined Young Blitzo with a balloon of his own in his hand. His balloon is red.

Young Fizzarolli: Okay Blitzo, that's enough *horsing* around [he makes a balloon horse perfectly on his first try], hey everybody look at this [presents the horse to the crowd] it's Banana Pudding the clown horsey [makes neighing noises, the crowd laughs while Young blitzo looks down sadly]

Young Stolas: I liked his broken horse joke, it was funny. Their legs do stop working when they eat too much sugar, it's called Laminitis. [Paimon looks down at Stolas judgmentally]

Scene changes to the announcer drinking back stage as the servant walks in holding the mirror that has the connection to paimon.

Paimon: What a show, that was real great, so *ahem* that little clown you have my son really enjoyed that one, I was wondering if I could buy him.

Announcer: Buy Him?

Paimon: Purchase him, yes, accurate. [he claps his hands and the servant pushes a button. The mirror extends out creating the effect like he's leaning over announcer dude who has a name I saw it in the credits but he's new and I don't remember it and I will go back and edit this later.] My son doesn't have any friends you see, and he liked the little clown boy. It's his birthday, he's so sad and I don't want to deal with him. Can I write a check?

Announcer: Well Fizzarolli is a big draw, he has a few more shows to be in today so it would be pretty expensive [squeaky sound effect as he rubs his thumb and finger together in gesture.]

Paimon: [chuckling] no, no, the other one.

Announcer: [shocked] Blitzo?

Paimon: Correct, how much?

Announcer: wha- well, he's my son so ah, hm, ah, how much ya got in your pocket?

The servant digs around in his pocket and produces a crumpled up bill and condom.

Paimon: A wadded up five and a slim fit condom.

Announcer: Ah that's plenty. Done.

Paimon: Splendid. Fetch him for me and we will be on our way. [he claps his hands and portals out destroying half the tent in the process.]

The scene changes to Young Fizarrolli and Blitzo playing with their balloon horses together.

Young Fizzarolli: I'm Banana Pudding and I like to dance!

Young Blitzo: I am Worm Horse (transcriber's note: I cannot actually tell if they're saying "war horse" or "worm horse" and my brain is having a hard time parsing it if someone with better ears could please double check that would be lovely, thank you) and I? I am sad!

Young Fizzarolli: Why are you sad Worm Horse?

Young Blitzo: Because, I have no legs!

Young Fizarolli: oh, well that's okay

Young Blitzo: I lost all my legs in The War.

Young Fizzarolli: [gasps] the war!?

Young Blitzo: Yes! The Great Pirate War!

Young Fizzarolli: no, no pirates.

Young Blitzo: It's a great pirate warrrrrrr.

Young Fizzarolli: [exasperatedly] if you keep talking about pirates, I will punch you.

Young Blitzo: I fought bravely but I could not run fast enough they took my legs, there was blood everywhere!

Young Fizzarolli: [laughing] oh no, ew, no blood. Blood is disgusting.

Young Blitzo: no, it's cool! [laughs]

Young Fizzarolli: Well Banana Pudding is here to save the day with his magical feet he dances around with. He will dance all over worm horse and make him feel better.

Young Blitzo: and then [dramatic pause] there will be more blood! [he squirts a red liquid onto the balloon horse.]

Young Fizzarolli: Blitzo! that's so gross! [laughing] stop.

Young Blitzo: Never!

Announcer appears behind them, grabs Blitzo and pulls him up.

Announcer: Boy, I've got a job for you. You are gonna spend the day with one of the Goetia princes.

Young Blitzo: Ew, why?

Announcer: Because Money! Now listen carefully, you are being bought out to be his playmate, but I want you to steal as much from those rich fuckers as you possibly can.

Young Blitzo: [scared] Steal? but what if I get caught?

Announcer: Don't you want your family to be able to buy a bigger tent? better food? don't you want to be able to help me and your mama out?

Young Blitzo: of course I wanna help mama!

Announcer: then you gotta do this, everything those rich fucks have will be worth a fortune [hic]

Young Blitzo: but if I'm caught - I'm scared dad.

Announcer: There are scarier things, aren;t there son?

Young Blitzo: but - [Announcer dude makes sad eyes at Young Blitzo, he responds dejectedly] yes papa.

The scene changes to Paimon, his servant and Young Stolas in front of their house while Young Blitzo and his father walk up to them.