Truth Seekers/Transcript

This is a transcribed copy of "Truth Seekers". Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.

''[The episode opens up to four monitors; the first one showing Blitzo and Moxxie outside Martha's house, Moxxie then pushes Blitzo's gun causing him to shoot in the wrong direction in "Murder Family". Another showing Millie coming out of the ocean after killing the fish monster in "Spring Broken", another's showing Millie and Moxxie french-kissing while swinging on a rope in "C.H.E.R.U.B.", and on the fourth monitor is a shot of horses, which then zooms past them onto Blitzo, who's making a goofy face. Someone then points at Blitzo.]''

Agent One: Right there. This was the first sighting.

Agent Two: They are definitely from Hell. They must use this dark magic to cross over into our world... and they seem to be killing specifically-targeted people, but why?

Agent One: They always attack at random, all over the country. There's no way to predict where they'll show up next.

''[A loud clattering noise is heard from outside, followed by an angry cat sound. The two agents immediately glance over to a hole in the wall that is covered with small wood planks. Forming a little peek hole to the outside. They then see the source of all the racket, Blitzo outside on top of some trash bags and dumpsters looking around.]''

Agent Two: Ah well, that's convenient.

Blitzo: Shh! Remember, we can't be seen.

[Blitzo slams the dumpster door loudly, but then falls into a pile of trash bags.]

Moxxie: Pardon my word, sir. But you're currently being the loudest.

Blitzo: I said shush your dick sucking lips, Moxxie.

[Moxxie steps away from his boss for a short moment as the portal was opened, Moxxie was about to head towards the portal.]

Blitzo: Get down!!

''[Blitzo quickly grabs Moxxie towards the ground as a net zoomed by. Then, Agent Two reloads his weapon as Blitz looks behind him and sees Agent One jumps down with a rope from a building and in front of the portal.]''

Blitzo: Loona! Close it!

Millie: Wait! No!

''[When Moxxie saw the portal closed, he suddenly gets mad and fights the two agents while Blitzo hid. However, he was hit by a needle and falls to the ground.]''

Blitzo: Moxxie!

''[With quick thinking, Blitzo grabs Moxxie and runs away. He hits Agent Two as he kept on running as they were catching up.]''

Moxxie: I smell... Colors...

[Then, Blitzo stopped at a dead end with the agentsgot him cornered.]

Blitzo: Back off, you tuxedo wearing fucks!

''[They soon raised their weapons up. But just as Blitzo was about to fire, Agent Two pushed a button on her gun as he got shocked.]''

Agent One: I'd like to see the suits at corporate call us losers now, that was pretty badass

Agent Two: Super badass.

''[Soon enough, he passed out. Meanwhile in Hell, Millie, with tears in her eyes was punching the wall multiple times. But soon she got on her knees.]''

Millie: Shit! Shit, shit, shit!

[Millie wailed with her head and hands on the ground.]

Loona: You uh... You okay there?

Millie: What're you doing sittin' there? The boys are in trouble, open it again.

Loona: Blitzo was using a total of zero euphemisms, innuendos, or swears that means it was serious, which means I don't open it until-

Millie: OPEN THE FUCKING PORTAL NOW!

''[A sequence happens, Loona zips a bag labeled "Blitzø's Emergen-C Bag", an angry Millie twirls and lifts a giant double axe with the 'M' in the I.M.P, and Loona quickly transforms to her human form with a owl in the background. The portal opens again, Millie flips and lands in a pose while Loona walks over the portal.]''

Millie: They aren't here...

''[Millie lets go of the axe and got to her knees again, beginning to cry. But stopped immediately as Loona lifts her up to bend down and sniffed to track where Blitzo and Moxxie went.]''

Loona: It smells like they went this way. Come on, let's find the dumbass twins.

''[Millie slips into the backpack and Loona picks up the axe and starts running towards the screen. Meanwhile, Moxxie starts waking up and starts looking around, the camera zooms out revealing that he and Blitzo are tied up. Moxxie panics and struggles to get out, while Agent Two grabs the light and pans it close to Moxxie's face.]''

Agent Two: Finally awake, huh, little fella. Your partner has been a while now.

Blitzo: Look, shitbag, it takes a lot to keep me down alright, I took a fuck ton of tranquilizers in the college I dropped out of. Also I've been strapped nipple first with car battery, so I- oh okay.

[Agent One pans the light close to Blitzo's face.]

Agent One: Tell us, demon scum. Who do you work for? Satan?

[Agent Two grabs the light again and passes it to Agent One each question.]

Agent Two: How did you get to our world from the afterlife?

Agent One: Why are youz killing humans?

Agent Two: When did you show up here?

[The two agents stops passing the lights.]

Blitzo: Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there, bitch. First of all, we just woke up from a very nasty shock and I'm still fuckin' woozy, so I'm gonna request you fetch us some coffee before we into this. I mean everyone gets coffees in shitty movies with scenes like this, am I right. I want something iced, bitch. Mox?

[Blitzo turns his head around to Moxxie.]

Moxxie: I'll have a neopolitan cappuccino, more cappu than cino, make sure it's got no more than four ounces of milk the beans won't have the right texture other wise and make sure they spell my name correctly on the cup they always put "Foxy" or "Roxy", I hate that,. If you can't handle that, I'll have a Venti traditional Misto please use soy milk with two blond shots Affogato and Ristretto. I'd also love three vanilla pumps at the very bottom. Then, add the coffee after, then-

Agent One: Enough! We aren't getting youz coffee!

Blitzo: Wow, I was getting massive douche chills just there, Mox, congrats.

Agent Two: If we have to, we are willing to resort to torture methods to get answers out of you nasty hell beasts.

Moxxie: When you say "tortured" you mean physical or psychological? Physical seems counterproductive, we would likely tell you anything if it meant an end to the pain and you have no way of knowing what was true.

Blitzo: -Or we might like it too much. And then you got a whole new thing to deal with.

Agent One: What do you mean by that?

Blitzo: Oh, you're stupid, huh. I could work with stupid, Daddy Likey Dummy.

[Moxxie squirms in his chair trying to hold back his laughter but laughs anyway.]

Moxxie: Good one sir, Daddy likey-

Agent Two: You better stop laughin' at us.

[Agent One grabs Blitzo's collar and screams at the imp's face.]

Agent One: Yeah! You're the one's at our mercy!

Moxxie: It's hard to resist, I'm really sorry. I mean considering your approach thus far, you've had us tied up here, for what, hours? And you haven’t even had us confirm what exactly we are.

Agent Two: [leans down curious] What are you?

Moxxie: I'm a Virgo.

[Blitzo bursts out laughing.]

Agent One: Oh, a smart guy eh?

Agent Two: One more quip out of you and we'll shut you up!

Blitzo: Ohh, getting kinky.

[Both agents recoil in shock and horror.]

Agent One: WHAT?!? We ain't playing any of your vile demon games!

Blitzo: I mean, that's what it sounds like back there. You sickos.

Moxxie: [sarcastically] PLEASE, don't give them ideas sir.

Blitzo: Why not? I know the shit you're into- [Moxxie gets an embarrased look]

Agent One: STAAHP! We are NOT getting kinky wit youse!

Agent Two: Calm down, One! Don't let these monsters get to you!

Blitzo: [sees them walking away] Hey, aren't we going to get a phone call, bitch?

Agent One: Well, that entirely depends: Who you going to call, hmm?

Blitzo: Your fat mom, thanking her for a fat time!

Agent Two: Nice try, demon! His fat mom is DEAD! [One starts crying into his own arm]