MAMMON'S MAGNIFICENT MUSICAL MID-SEASON SPECIAL (ft Fizzarolli)/Transcript

This is a transcribed copy of "MAMMON'S MAGNIFICENT MUSICAL MID-SEASON SPECIAL (ft Fizzarolli)". Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.

''{The episode begins with a giant stadium at the center of the Greed Ring where thousands of spectators are watching the stage at the front. Spotlights shine everywhere before green flames sprout at the stands.}''

ANNOUNCER: Alright, folks! Give it up for the king of all things greeeen! Hell's number one clown! The money-maker himself!

''{A giant sign pops up from the stands and makes a spinning slot motion like a slot machine before it stops to a jackpot, revealing the name of the sign: Mammon. The scene switches to the spectators all cheering on for the one demon to appear on stage. One of the spectators is the younger teenage Blitzo and Fizzarolli before the fire accident. The boys were all screaming and making applause for the most popular figure in Greed.}''

ANNOUNCER: The sin you all looove most: Mammon, King of Greeeed!

{In a rockstar entrance scene, Mammon slides on stage with a guitar pops up on stage with green fires and confetti bursting from behind him, wearing sunglasses.}

Mammon: Heya, implings! How're you little [HONK] doing tonight? I hope you're ready for the best fucking show you will ever see in your {explosion occur on scene before his face gets a close-up} shit lives!

{Like everyone else, Blitzo and Fizzarolli are having the time of their lives, screaming their lungs out}

Everyone: Mammon, Mammon, Mammon!

Mammon: Right. I got tons of really fuckin' cool (spins his guitar) shit for you 'ere tonight, but first, how many of you worthless bitches wanna be big clowns like me someday?

{Although Mammon could not hear Blitzo and Fizzarolli, they were raising their hands up to get picked by the demon prince himself.}

Fizzarolli: I do, I do!

Blitzo: Me, me, me, me, me!

Mammon: Well, I'm happy to announce that I will be starting up a new, yearly clown pageant!

{Just as he was making the announcement, the camera scene pans out to reveal a giant sign behind Mammon that saids, "Mammon's Super Fucking Rad as Shit Clown Pageant" before more explosions bombed on stage with fireworks and confetti.

Crowd: YEEEAAAHH!!

{The camera screenshot zooms in on Mammon up close.}

Mammon: You know- Like one 'a them fucked up beauty contests But for clowns, so it's better!

''{The camera pans out again with the sign that said: It's Better before arrows point at the sign. More fireworks and confetti exploded on the scene. The scene switched back to Mammon again.}''

Mammon: Just for all you aspiring, clown kids out there! {picks up a Imp demon child with glasses} A new chance to work with me, {The Imp child had googoo eyes looking at him before he hugs Mammon} Mammon!

{As he was explaining this, Blitzo finds it very uncomfortable just by thinking about it, making a look of uncertain disgust while Fizz was staring at Mammon with bright goo-goo eyes of admiration.}

Mammon: And be the new face of my clown-ish brand! {pulls the imp kid back like a rubber band before throwing him off-stage I can't wait to see all the new talent I can exploi{caught himself}- u-um- fuck. Wait, I mean enjoy [nervous laughter] uh, watching me grow my empire! Also, if you're a chick, maybe give up on your dreams now. Cause I'm not gonna lie: women just ain't funny. ANYWAY! My plan is to find the new face of my brand, YEAH! So they gotta bring the good shit! The winner will get to be like the son I never had, and I'll be like the stepdad that will love you when it's convenient!

{Switching to the two teenage boys, Fizz continues to look at Mammon with exciting admiration while Blitzo turns sour after realizing what a letdown Mammon was since he's trying to make a scam out of everyone in the crowd.}

Fizzarolli: Wow!

''{Blitzo just heard Fizz and looks beside him with one eyebrow raised in surprise. The scene comes back to Mammon.}''

Mammon: You might be a lunchbox, an action figure, Saturday morning cartoon. Hell, I might even make a sex robot of ya! I don't know! I mean, if we'll make money, sure. But it's not weird.{spots one imp in the crowd and points at the one with glasses.} You're weird, you sick fuck! And if you say it's exploitation, fuck you!

''{As Mammon was going on ranting, the scene switches to the stage. The crowd was dead silent after hearing his complains.}''

Mammon: It's not exploitation! If you think that then you're a dickhead. {camera makes a close up again} Anyway, CLOWNS!!

''{As he finishes, shadowy figures of clowns and whatever kinds of demons appears behind him. The crowd was back to cheering, but the ones were at the front weren't so lucky as they were dogpiled by the shadowy clowns swarming all over them.}''

Crowd: ALRIGHT LET'S GO, YEEAAA-

''{The scene changes to the aftermath of the rock-style concert showing from Mammon. The boys are walking down the street after the whole clown swarming fiasco in the stadium.}''

Blitzo: Alright, I'm gonna say it. That was too many clowns.

Fizzarolli: I have to win that pageant someday. Can you imagine how amazing it would be to get to work with him?

Blitzo: What's the point? Isn't being the star of our imp circus enough? Plenty of people already know who you are, Fizz. You don't need to go work for Mammon like some creepy mascot.

Fizzarolli: It's not about that! It's getting to work with my idol. (Eyes glowing with admiration) I just love that he's giving someone new the chance to be in the spotlight! He's an inspiration.

{While Fizzarolli was daydreaming, Blitzo had uncertainty of his friend's expectation.}

Blitzo: Well he's- definitely something alright. I mean I dunno, was it worth all our savings just to have him put on an over-hyped commercial, and then bitch about taxes, and then assault us with clowns, vomit, and pass out on stage?

Fizzarolli: [Laughs] So worth it!

Unbeknownst to them, a stranger with glasses appears behind the light post, looking at them from behind like a creepy stalker before he scurries away like a raccoon.}

Fizzarolli: [Sighs] Blitzo, do you think I could win if I worked really hard? - I think...

Blitzo: I think if anyone's gonna be the new clown face on everything- {grabs Fizz by the head and gives him a nuggy}[laughs] it'll be you, Fizz.

{As they were talking, the same demon stalker suddenly appears in front of them under the light post shining on him.}

Demon Fanboy: Holy shit, you're Fizzarolli! Oh MAN! Your stuff is great!!

{Fizzarolli was immediately creeped out by the sudden appearance of a crazed fan standing before him.}

Fizzarolli: [Nervously] Oh- hey there. Thank you, I appreciate that.

''{Fizzarolli and Blitzo finds it hard to ignore the crazed fan and walks past him to get away. Just as they were aheard, the crazed fan zips past them to be in their way, stopping them from leaving.}''

Fizzarolli: Woah- oh- okay.

Demon Fanboy: After seeing your shows, I wanted to get into clown performing, too!

{While Fizz was looking a bit nervous, Blitzo looked like he didn't care.}

Demon Fanboy: I'm really good!!

''{Fizz gives a nervous chuckle and heads toward him to give the fan a handshake as a sign of appreciation. Blitzo, on the otherhand, was scowling at the fan and somehow recognizes him.}''

Blitzo: Hey, aren't you that creep who's always trying to sniff around our dressing rooms?

{As Fizz was about to give him a handshake, the crazed fan suddenly grabs hard on it and pulls Fizz up close to his face, completely oblivious to Blitzo's presence.

Demon Fanboy: I have the best idea for a duo performance between us, that should spice up your act. Picture this: We start it like a romantic, ballroom dance or a-

Blitzo: Dude, weird fuckin' pitch. Fuck off!

Demon Fanboy: I was talking to the clown, asshole!

{The Demon Fanboy twists Fizzarolli around to face away from Blitzo so he can continue on with his crazy sexual obsession with him.}

Demon Fanboy: I'm sorry, Fizzie, I'm not normally so aggressive, I promise. I've just waited my whole life for an opportunity like this! {Up close of the fanboy's glasses reflecting the anxiously nervous Fizz} With your fame, and my raw, undiscovered talent, I know we can-

Blitzo: Hey, shit-dick, beat it now or I'll make ya swallow your fangs!

''{Blitzo has had enough of this creepy stalking moment and comes up to break it up. The fanboy keeps on ranting as if Blitzo was not here.}''

Demon Fanboy: Fizz! You don't want me to leave, right? Tell him you don't want me to go!

''{Fizzarollo was very uncomfortable about their encounter. He decides to not deal with this anymore and pulls his hand back.}''

Fizzarolli: I- uhm- We have to go now. Thanks though!

''{Fizzarolli leaves the obsessed fanboy. Blitzo shove past him with one hand out of the way with a deadpanned look. The fanboy realized what happened and holds his arm in a heartbroken pain.}''

Demon Fanboy: Eugh! Fiiizz! FIZZAROLLIIII!

{Fizzarolli makes one glance behind to the fanboy before leaving with Blitzo.}

Demon Fanboy: Fine! Fuck you! You think you're better than me, you elitist prick? Your act's fucking trash anyways!

{The scene comes back to Blitzo and Fizz with Blitzo looking back with disgust.}

Blitzo: Cheeeese and hot sauce Fizz, your fans are something else.

Fizzarolli: What if my acts are trash? What if I'm never good enough?

Blitzo: Hey, hey don't let one asshole get to you, 'kay? You're- you are plenty good enough. -

Fizzarolli: But I have to be perfect.

Blitzo: [Groaning] Do you?

Fizzarolli: I'll just have to keep practicing, and someday, maybe, I'll be good enough for M-

{The sweet tender moment between Blitzo and Fizzarolli was suddenly cut short by a tv static scene that blocked the entire thing before the scene apparently fixes itself to the present where an explosion occurs as Mammon reappears on screen.}

Mammon: It's me, Mammon! And I'm here to announce the amazing new brand: {showcases the new robotic android of the original Fizzarolli} Fizzie!! We got a Fizzie for every occasion!

{The commercial shows various Fizzarolli robotic items that are branded for every purposes and skills such as toys being stomped on, fireman, therapist, Fizz waiting in a shopping line, a doctor, Fizz that was big and obese before deflating into being small and skinny, Hellhound kids chewing on Fizz while fighting over it, a teen Imp using Fizz as a chair while giving a thumbs up, three horny female Imps licking and sucking on a Fizz}

Mammon: We got fluffy, toy Fizzie, fireman Fizzie, therapist Fizzie, wait in line for you Fizzie, doctor Fizzie: beeps every time it senses cancer! Fat Fizzie, skinny Fizzie, so many Fizzies! And if you wanna fuck 'em, you can! We got Fizzies for the kids, Fizzies for the teens, and Fizzies for you sick, fucking degenerate adults! We got 'em all! All based on my new face, Fizzieee!

''{Mammon then brings up the adult Fizzarolli on camera. He appears to be nervously smiling with a bead of sweat on his forehead. He jabs a thumb to himself to show he's the one and only real Fizzarolli.}''

Fizzarolli: That's me! [Uncomfortable laughter]

Mammon: Buy yours now! Do it!

''{The commercial scene zooms out with a giant "Buy" logo behind Mammon and Fizzarolli. Fizzarolli makes one last nervous chuckle before the commercial explodes in the scene.} ''

- Oh fuck, Mammon is gonna notice that. Ozzie! Where did my foundation go?!

- This is the 10th year in a row you've done this supid pageant, Froggie. And you win everytime!

How come you're always so dead set on this? - I wanna make Mammon proud, okay? He's- really passionate about the craft of clown.

He expects perfection, so I- I gotta be perfect. - Fizz, you ain't perfect! Nobody is!

How abooout, you sit this one out, and let someone else take the spotlight?

You deserve a break. Or a vacation, where you don't have to fend off creeps the entire time.

- [Scoffs] I had to fend of creeps before the robots, I just have thirstier ones, now. Besides, I just- have to do this!

- Lemme rephrase: I don't like how many creeps you have now, thanks to Mammon.

And I don't like designing sex toys with your likeness for him!

Pretty sure you feel the same. - I just don't think about it, a toy is a toy!

Look, Ozz, I'm fine. Working for Mammon is a big deal to me.

He's been my idol since I was five, I can't just- not compete! I'd be letting him down!

Th-the fans down! - Mammon can eat my ass. In a bad way.

Fizz, I've known that guy since the start of Hell, and He. Fucking. Sucks. Always has!

He doesn't even do clown shit anymore. [Sighs] I just don't want you doing all this for someone's approval.

Sometimes heroes let you down. - I know, Ozz. But this- i-is for me.

I don't wanna lose. [Eating sounds]

- [Mouth full] Yello? - Is this- Fizz's former bestie, then lifelong enemy, then recent hero, now newly rekindled sort of friend, Blitzø?

- Ehn, that is a weird way to put it, but eeyup, that's me. - This is Asmodeus. - Oh shit, the big Ozz himself! Heh, is there a reason you're

calling me on the weekend Your sin- sinness? Sinfulness? Sin- [stammering] Royal, big man?

- You've lived rent free in Fizz's head for years, so I can't help feel he values your take on things.

- Yeah, I was the one who usually had the stronger opinions. Yeah like, like one time, he tried convincing me that juggling was cool,

but it's only a little cool at best. - Look, he's deadset on re-entering Greed's yearly clown pageant.

- [Sarcastically] Wow, big fucking surprise there. I was hoping to have some- backup in convincing him that this thing is a waste of time.

- What? why? Doesn't he always win? - 'Cause Mammon is a selfish, manipulative, piece of shit!

And Fizz doesn't listen to me when I try to tell him that. - Well, my special skills are killing things without giving fucks-

and pointing out people's flaaaws... Alright, count me in!

- Hup- hup- Hey!

[Crowd cheering]

BLITZØ: Fuck!

CROWD: We love you, Fizz! Yeah, baby, yeah!!

BLITZØ: Wow, I have not been to a crowd event in years. - Can you remind me why you're here, again?

ASMODEUS: I uuuh- invited him.

To help you, with extra security. You know your fans. Since I can't be with you, I felt he'd be the next best thing.

- He'd be the next best thing? - Well he kept you safe when I wasn't able to,

so I trust that. [High-pitched laugh] Ha- hmm. - [Grumbling] Mmm-hmm. L'il sus, babe.

CROWD: You're doing an awesome job, Fizzarolli! BLITZØ: Come on, it's just like old times. I'll make sure no one gives you shit, today.

- You mean besides you? - Aaay, there he is! Now how's my bright, shiny, brand baby doing?

Ready to reclaim your win another year? Yeah? - [Muffled] You know it, Mammon sir. - Goooood, cause, you know,

I saw your competition, and it's pretty stiff, right? You are gonna have to try extra hard like- fixin' that posture.

Not gonna lie, you're looking a bit chungo, yeah? Maybe lose a few so we don't gotta make any more adjustments to the Fizzies.

People like 'em skinny as FUCK. - Oh- right, sir. Of course! I'll work on that.

- What?! - Oh. And who's this dumpster-diver ya got here with ya? BLITZØ: Hi, yes, nice to meet you,

I'm the one who saw through your fake-ass bullshit from the day I had to spend all my savings on the shit covered, dick show you called a performance.

Thanks for that, by the way. - Haha- ha- ignore him, sir. He's uh- he's like this all the time.

He thinks he's funny. - Offended. - Riiight, yeah. You can shut your [HONK] ass mouth, boy.

I'll see you on stage! And don't forget to fuckin' smile Fizzarolli. The smile is the face people like to

seeee froooom you! BLITZØ: Wow that guy sucks so hard.

- Look Blitzø, I don't know why Ozz brought you here, but can you at least not talk back to my boss?!

I need this gig! - Why? Don't you have the world's best sugar daddy? - I just need it, okay?! [Sighs]

Smile inside and out. CROWD: We love you, Fizz!

CROWD: Ready for another win, Fizz? - Oh, pfft- well, I don't wanna assume,

but as always I have an act that's without a doubt gonna- GLITZ: Fucking lose. GLAM: Fucking lose.

[Gasps] - Oooh, fun. You gals gonna be competing as well?

That's really nice. - You can shut up now you fugly imp. - Yeah, see we didn't come to chat. We came to win.

- Wow, what attractive attitudes you got. - Like we care what your opinion is Fizza- ah-

- rotty! - Shut up, I was thinking of one! - Should've been faster. - Whore! - Slow-ass, bitch.

BLITZØ: You know it's pretty telling that you snatches can't even keep your stupid mirror schtick together. It ain't cute.

- We don't need to. - We put our energy towards our performance. - And winning Mammon's favor.

- Oh, well. I look forward to seeing what you do, and may the best clown w- GLAM: We plan to. GLITZ: We plan to. [laughs]

- Win. [Music starts] - Aw man, I didn't a rat's ass about this competition, but Christ on a stick Fizz,

pile drive those sluts. ANNOUNCER: We've certainly got some quality up here tonight, folks.

Will Mr. 10 years running come out on top? Or is it time for fresh meat? ♪ Juggling, it's objectively cool ♪

♪ Our returning champ is nobody's fool ♪ ♪ But what's this? ♪ ♪ The twins bring it up to the wire ♪ ♪ Also, they're on fire ♪

♪ Points for style (Points for style) ♪ ♪ The crowd goes wild (Crowd goes wild) ♪ ♪ It's the pie gag and the twins want a taste, ♪

♪ but what's this? ♪ ♪ It's Fizz in the face ♪ ♪ He takes the cake and he eats it, too ♪ ♪ He's hungry to win, and he's covered in goo ♪

♪ That's point for cream the crowd screams ♪ ♪ Ba-ba-ballons he's pumping them out ♪ ♪ From where I'm sittin' you can hear the crowd ♪

♪ Not give a shit cause the twins are here ♪ ♪ They're full of sin and they're here to win ♪ ♪ Holy moly, things are not looking good for Fizz-a-rolli ♪♪

MAMMON: And now you [HONK], we are down to our clowny finalists.

My very own pride and joy, the marketable son I never had, Fizzarolli!

[Crowd cheering] And the surprisingly funny women act that made me reflect on my earlier statements:

The Glam Sisters! Now we're gonna have a quick meet 'n greet with our finalists,

so fork it over kitties! You know it's worth it! [Manaical laugh]

FIZZAROLLI: Hey Mammon, uh- I may not be uh- i-in the right headspace to interact with the fans right now.

Is it okay if I maybe skip the whole thing? - Psh, of course not. - I just really don't think that I'm really [muffled speaking sounds]

- Aaaw, come on Fizzie my boy. Don't you wanna do this for your fans? Listen to them, [Rabid crowd noises]

they're dying to meet you! Dying to see your little Fizzie face! You gotta make a good impression, mate.

The better the impression, the more they'll want a piece of you they can take home and fuck!

Don't you want that, Fizzie? To be fucked?! - Uhhh, I mean, [stammering]

no, not really actually. - Fizzie, I-I'm not gonna lie, I want that. So come on, just do this one thing for me.

- [Muffled] Okay, sir. - Aw, you're a bloody legend, Fizzie! They're gonna wanna fuck you,

like you're fucking my heart with joooy right now! Now get out there and make me proud,

you stupid, little, [HONK]. [Fizzarolli coughing] BLITZØ: Wow Fizz, you let him talk to you like that?

You got some kinda secret kink I should know about or something? - It's just how he is. - I mean shit, if he talked to me that way,

- [Groans] Ugh, it's fine. Heya folks, where ya from? Oh Lust, love it there, obviously.

Wet dreamsville, hah! Best pharmacies in Hell! Ragesburg well, [Southern accent] Nice to meet cha, partner.

Ha ha, I don't do accents. Fun! Ah, nice to meet you, too! Thank you so much for coming to the show.

[Crowd chanting] Fizz! Fizz! Fizz! Fizz!

(Start ASL)

Kid: Fizzarolli! I’m a big fan! (F-CLOWN! I BIG ADMIRE-PERSON!)

Fizzarolli: Come on over here. (COME)

Kid: I want to be a clown just like you. (CLOWN SAME)

Fizzarolli: You can do anything you want to do. (IF WANT CAN WORK)

(End ASL)

- I hope you're excited for the biiig finale! FAN: Boo! Boo! Sellout piece of shit!

- Uh- wh- c-come again? FAN: Ughh, you're act is such fucking trash; always has been.

Except now, I have to see your smug face plastered on everything, everywhere!

And, you can't read all about it on my review blog: fuck-Fizz-but-not-in-a-sexy-way

dot-compainer, dot-com, dot-org, dot-gov. - Hah, well, anyway folks heh.

- You're not even a clown anymore. All you do is work at that overpriced, sleaze joint,

and then every year you come back here to put us through the same tired, old routine.

Is there a single original idea in that head? - I uh- uh- uuuh- [shaky laugh]

- You fucking suck, and so do your products. Your sex-bots can't even get me off right, you know-

[Blitzø grunts] What? Still think you're too good to even talk to me?

Still gotta get this chump to stand in for you? You're fucking pathetic.

To think, what we could've been together if you hadn't been too up your own ass to listen! Ugh!

- Yeah, one more word out of you twat stan Imma blow your head clean open in front of all these fucking kids.

FIZZAROLLI: [Hyperventilating]

- [Manaical laughter] You're not done with me, Fizzarolli.

FIZZAROLLI: [Hyperventilating] - Hey, hey- woah woah, you good? - [Startled scream]

- Yeah, mate? You alright Fizzie?

- Yeah- yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I'm- I'm fine, yeah, heh. - Tell you what,

I'll let the hotties go on before ya, give ya some time to get your shit together.

Get your shit together, Fizzie. You're a bloody legend.

You're a bloody legend, ya bitch! BLITZØ: Oh shit, that guy got to you, didn't he?

You know you don't have to- - I do Blitzø, I do. - Fucking hell, Fizz this is stupid. That clown shit is not this important.

- This job is! Without it I'll lose- GLAM: Everything. GLITZ: Everything! [Evil laughter]

- Seriously that guy is a fucking dick, and he's using you for everything

cause you're likable, and he's a fucking trash fire. - No, he's not! He's just trying to make me good enough.

- Good enough for what?

[Pop music starts] - ♪ Get ready for the new look ♪

♪ New rhythym and a new hook ♪ ♪ Not here to cuddle ♪ ♪ more like leave you in a puddle ♪

♪ Little double trouble got ya boy shook ♪ - ♪ Ha, ha, here's the sitch' ♪ [Rapping] ♪ Feed sin with ya taxes ♪

[Rapping] ♪ Greedy greed wins where the cash is ♪ ♪ Wanna sell my funny, slutty body to the masses ♪

[Together] ♪ Feelin' lonely on a Saturday night ♪ ♪ Well money can't buy happiness ♪ ♪ But it can rent you paradise ♪

♪ Give in to temptation ♪ ♪ Take your time I'll be patient ♪

♪ Be my little piggy let me ♪ ♪ scratch your dirty itch ♪

♪ I'm a klown, bitch ♪ ♪ Fix up your frown, bitch ♪

♪ Gimme the crown, bitch ♪ ♪ You hear that sound ♪ ♪ You're goin' down ♪

♪ Cause I'm a klown, bitch ♪ - ♪ Get ready for a- ♪♪

[Heavy breathing]

- O-Okay, Fizz. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. It's okay, it's fine. You have a show to do soon, it's fine.

[Gasps] Oh- oh no, oh- no, no, no, no. [Strained] No, no- [Hyperventilating]

It's okay, you're fine. You need to be fine.

ASMODEUS: Fizz! Are you okay?

- Why does everyone keep asking me that?? You shouldn't be here, Asmodeus. I'm fine, please! - [Struggling grunts]

[Mumbling] Come on. Froggie. - I'm fine! I'm fine!

Just needed a minute! - You aren't okay, you're shaking. - Ozz, I'm about to go on for the finale,

I need some time to mentally prepare. - Fizz, come on! I'm trying to talk to you,

You can't force yourself to- - [Interrupting] Ozz, I have to do this. This could be my last chance to prove that I'm still good at this.

That it's not over! That I'm still good enough! It's not just Mammon.

I'm fine. I just- need to be better. - You think you need to be this perfect, model performer,

but that's because Mammon is always forcing that image onto you!

- But everything I have is because of Mammon. I have this life. I have security. I have you.

Without Mammon I wouldn't be- I wouldn't have-

I just- I have to win this. - Fizzie. - I don't want to lose.

Because I feel like if I lose this, I lose you. - [Scoffs] How would you lose me?

Come on, Froggie. - You're with me because of who I am at my best! I'm barely worthy of working with a King of Sin

cause THIS is who I am. Without all this, I'm just nothing,

and Mammon made me this. I owe it all to him.

- Fizz, Mammon didn't do shit. You already were this. You'd be this no matter what!

You are the most inspiring demon I have ever known, and meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me.

I adore your inventiveness, your attitude, your resilience. And- you're just the cutest little thing alive. [Fizzarolli laughs]

Also, you are a waaaay better performer than Mammon ever was,

and thaaat's just facts. - It's- It's hard, you know? To t-trust that.

I- I just- I love you so much, Ozzie. - And I love you too, Fizzarolli.

And I would whether you win this bullshit or not. - Well, I kinda spent my whole warmup

[Music starts] having a panic attack, haha. - ♪ Crooked horn, crooked grin. ♪

♪ You're a crooked, horny, ♪ ♪ freaky, little joker. ♪ - ♪ You're a deadly sin. ♪

- ♪ And I don't wanna hear another goddamn word about ♪ ♪ Win, win, win. ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, I think you're messy, ♪ ♪ but I'm messy, too. ♪

[Guitar strumming] ♪ No, no, no, I wouldn't clean a thing ♪

♪ when I ended up with you. ♪ [Guitar strumming] - ♪ I don't know you waste your time on me ♪

[Spoken] - ♪ Baby, all I got is time. ♪ - ♪ When there's so much I'll never be. ♪

- [Laughs] ♪ Holy shit, babe. ♪ ♪ There's so much you can't see. ♪

- ♪ What can't I see? ♪ [Together] ♪ Oh, oh, ♪

ASMODEUS: ♪ you're a broken record, ♪ ♪ don't you ever shut your crooked little lips ♪ - [Spoken] ♪ What do you want me to do with my lips? Heh-heh. ♪

[Together] ♪ Oh, oh, oh you sure are lucky ♪ [Together] ♪ You make my crooked heart do ♪

[Together] ♪ freaky, little flips. ♪ - ♪ You make my crooked heart do ♪

♪ "Froggie" little flips. ♪♪ - Ribbit. [Laughs]

[Sighs happily]

[Kissing sounds] FAN: You're gonna listen to me now, BITCH.

- Oh so you two are an item? Well congratulations, you fucking hypocrites.

MAMMON: Uuuh- D-Don't worry, folks. I-I'm sure Fizzarolli will be out soon with a grand fucking performance.

[Explosion] [Applause and cheers]

[Dramatic music starts] ♪ I have wasted time. ♪ ♪ I have seen my use. ♪

♪ I have packaged and sold every part of me! ♪ ♪ Suffered a lifetime of abuse. ♪

♪ I have lost myself. ♪ ♪ I have worshipped at your feet. ♪

♪ And here I am standing on top of the world ♪ ♪ with some bitches to defeat. ♪

♪ I've played the game, I've won it all. ♪ ♪ They've screamed my name, ♪

♪ they bought the doll. ♪ ♪ I've seized the day, ♪ ♪ now I've got one thing left to say-ay-ay, ♪

♪ Fuck you! ♪ ♪ Here's my two-minutes notice, fuck you! ♪

♪ Time to quit and smell the roses. ♪ ♪ Say goodbye, ♪

♪ While I look you the in eye and say, Fuck you! ♪

MAMMON: [Spoken] Interesting song. I wonder what fuckin' this is about. FIZZ: ♪ Fuckity, fuckity, fuckity fuckity you! ♪ ASMODEUS: [Spoken] It's about you. MAMMON: [Spoken] Wait, what? FIZZ: ♪ Fuck you! ♪

♪ I have taken shit. ♪ ♪ Been crushed under your heel. ♪

♪ I have suffered for profit ♪ ♪ and suckered for fame, ♪ ♪ made a fortune you could steal. ♪

♪ I've had enough, I've hit the wall. ♪ ♪ I'm tired of taking your calls. ♪

♪ It ends today, ♪ ♪ Now there's just one last thing to say-ay-ay, ♪

♪ Fuck you! ♪ ♪ I wish I'd said it sooner, fuck you! ♪

♪ Cut you off, just like a tumor! ♪ ♪ Hope you die, ♪

♪ Kiss my ass goodbye, you cuck, fuck you! ♪

Eeugh- [Circusy music] ♪ Have you ever felt sick and tired ♪ ♪ of doing the same shit everyday with your anger brewin' ♪ ♪ Eatin' shit for a boss that you're sick of obeyin' ♪

♪ If you ever felt the same let me hear ya say it! ♪ [With ensemble] ♪ Did you really think I was gonna stay? ♪

♪ Spending life bent over with your fist in my "a". ♪ ♪ Slander me, say I'll never work in this town, ♪

♪ If I stick around I'll be six more feet under the ground! ♪ ENSEMBLE: ♪ (Fuck you!) ♪

FIZZ: ♪ Wo-oh-oh! ♪ - ♪ (Here's my two minute's notice, fuck you!) ♪ - ♪ Suck it, greedy bastard! ♪ - ♪ You're a fucking, ass clown! ♪ - ♪ (Time to quit and smell the roses!) ♪

[With ensemble] ♪ Say goodbye, ♪ ♪ too late to apologize! ♪

♪ So this is it, ♪ ♪ Mammon you sad sack of shit, ♪

♪ Fuck yooou! ♪

- ♪ You bitch! ♪ ♪ Yeah!! ♪♪

Thank you all so much. You know, it's always been one of the greatest thrills of my life performing.

And I'm so glad to bring you all one, last show.

Cause now, I quit!

- Pffbth! WHAT?! QUIT?! You miserable piece of shit!

What do you mean quit? - I meaaan, I quit. I'm done, [Australian accent] G'day, mate!

- [Growling]

[Fizzarolli gasps] ASMODEUS: Oh that, motherfucker. MAMMON: [Growls] You fucking ungrateful little shit!

[Growls intensify and turn into a scream.] I gave you everything!!

You are practically in my image! I raised you like the son I didn't want!

ASMODEUS: [Growls] You'd better back the fuck up, Mam.

- Ho-ly shit! I say, I say. - Ha-ha, hooo. Look who's acting like a big fuckin' hero.

Careful what you say, Ozzie. Wouldn't want your little secret getting out,

would we? - I don't care anymore! - Ozz? - Because if you let him quit,

I could tell everyone hereee that you- - What? That I love him? Well I do!

CROWD: [Fangirling] I knew it, I knew it!

- Oh- uh. Shit. Ah- you dirty bitch.

You are gonna regret revealing that, Ozz. [Sinister laugh] [Fizzarolli growls]

[Laughing continues] [Screaming]

[Sighs happily] - So does that mean we win?

ACK!! [Lovey-dovey giggling]

BLITZØ: So um, who tops?

[Fizzarolli groans]