MAMMON'S MAGNIFICENT MUSICAL MID-SEASON SPECIAL (ft Fizzarolli)/Transcript

This is a transcribed copy of "MAMMON'S MAGNIFICENT MUSICAL MID-SEASON SPECIAL (ft Fizzarolli)". Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.

''{The episode begins with a giant stadium at the center of the Greed Ring where thousands of spectators are watching the stage at the front. Spotlights shine everywhere before green flames sprout at the stands.}''

ANNOUNCER: Alright, folks! Give it up for the king of all things greeeen! Hell's number one clown! The money-maker himself!

''{A giant sign pops up from the stands and makes a spinning slot motion like a slot machine before it stops to a jackpot, revealing the name of the sign: Mammon. The scene switches to the spectators all cheering on for the one demon to appear on stage. One of the spectators is the younger teenage Blitzo and Fizzarolli before the fire accident. The boys were all screaming and making applause for the most popular figure in Greed.}''

ANNOUNCER: The sin you all looove most: Mammon, King of Greeeed!

{In a rockstar entrance scene, Mammon slides on stage with a guitar pops up on stage with green fires and confetti bursting from behind him, wearing sunglasses.}

Mammon: Heya, implings! How're you little [HONK] doing tonight? I hope you're ready for the best fucking show you will ever see in your {explosion occur on scene before his face gets a close-up} shit lives!

{Like everyone else, Blitzo and Fizzarolli are having the time of their lives, screaming their lungs out}

Everyone: Mammon, Mammon, Mammon!

Mammon: Right. I got tons of really fuckin' cool (spins his guitar) shit for you 'ere tonight, but first, how many of you worthless bitches wanna be big clowns like me someday?

{Although Mammon could not hear Blitzo and Fizzarolli, they were raising their hands up to get picked by the demon prince himself.}

Fizzarolli: I do, I do!

Blitzo: Me, me, me, me, me!

Mammon: Well, I'm happy to announce that I will be starting up a new, yearly clown pageant!

{Just as he was making the announcement, the camera scene pans out to reveal a giant sign behind Mammon that saids, "Mammon's Super Fucking Rad as Shit Clown Pageant" before more explosions bombed on stage with fireworks and confetti.

Crowd: YEEEAAAHH!!

{The camera screenshot zooms in on Mammon up close.}

Mammon: You know- Like one 'a them fucked up beauty contests But for clowns, so it's better!

''{The camera pans out again with the sign that said: It's Better before arrows point at the sign. More fireworks and confetti exploded on the scene. The scene switched back to Mammon again.}''

Mammon: Just for all you aspiring, clown kids out there! {picks up a Imp demon child with glasses} A new chance to work with me, {The Imp child had googoo eyes looking at him before he hugs Mammon} Mammon!

{As he was explaining this, Blitzo finds it very uncomfortable just by thinking about it, making a look of uncertain disgust while Fizz was staring at Mammon with bright goo-goo eyes of admiration.}

Mammon: And be the new face of my clown-ish brand! {pulls the imp kid back like a rubber band before throwing him off-stage I can't wait to see all the new talent I can exploi{caught himself}- u-um- fuck. Wait, I mean enjoy [nervous laughter] uh, watching me grow my empire! Also, if you're a chick, maybe give up on your dreams now. Cause I'm not gonna lie: women just ain't funny. ANYWAY! My plan is to find the new face of my brand, YEAH! So they gotta bring the good shit! The winner will get to be like the son I never had, and I'll be like the stepdad that will love you when it's convenient!

{Switching to the two teenage boys, Fizz continues to look at Mammon with exciting admiration while Blitzo turns sour after realizing what a letdown Mammon was since he's trying to make a scam out of everyone in the crowd.}

Fizzarolli: Wow!

''{Blitzo just heard Fizz and looks beside him with one eyebrow raised in surprise. The scene comes back to Mammon.}''

Mammon: You might be a lunchbox, an action figure, Saturday morning cartoon. Hell, I might even make a sex robot of ya! I don't know! I mean, if we'll make money, sure. But it's not weird.{spots one imp in the crowd and points at the one with glasses.} You're weird, you sick fuck! And if you say it's exploitation, fuck you!

''{As Mammon was going on ranting, the scene switches to the stage. The crowd was dead silent after hearing his complains.}''

Mammon: It's not exploitation! If you think that then you're a dickhead. {camera makes a close up again} Anyway, CLOWNS!!

''{As he finishes, shadowy figures of clowns and whatever kinds of demons appears behind him. The crowd was back to cheering, but the ones were at the front weren't so lucky as they were dogpiled by the shadowy clowns swarming all over them.}''

Crowd: ALRIGHT LET'S GO, YEEAAA-

''{The scene changes to the aftermath of the rock-style concert showing from Mammon. The boys are walking down the street after the whole clown swarming fiasco in the stadium.}''

Blitzo: Alright, I'm gonna say it. That was too many clowns.

Fizzarolli: I have to win that pageant someday. Can you imagine how amazing it would be to get to work with him?

Blitzo: What's the point? Isn't being the star of our imp circus enough? Plenty of people already know who you are, Fizz. You don't need to go work for Mammon like some creepy mascot.

Fizzarolli: It's not about that! It's getting to work with my idol. (Eyes glowing with admiration) I just love that he's giving someone new the chance to be in the spotlight! He's an inspiration.

{While Fizzarolli was daydreaming, Blitzo had uncertainty of his friend's expectation.}

Blitzo: Well he's- definitely something alright. I mean I dunno, was it worth all our savings just to have him put on an over-hyped commercial, and then bitch about taxes, and then assault us with clowns, vomit, and pass out on stage?

Fizzarolli: [Laughs] So worth it!

Unbeknownst to them, a stranger with glasses appears behind the light post, looking at them from behind like a creepy stalker before he scurries away like a raccoon.}

Fizzarolli: [Sighs] Blitzo, do you think I could win if I worked really hard? - I think...

Blitzo: I think if anyone's gonna be the new clown face on everything- {grabs Fizz by the head and gives him a nuggy}[laughs] it'll be you, Fizz.

{As they were talking, the same demon stalker suddenly appears in front of them under the light post shining on him.}

Burnie Burnz: Holy shit, you're Fizzarolli! Oh MAN! Your stuff is great!!

{Fizzarolli was immediately creeped out by the sudden appearance of a crazed fan standing before him.}

Fizzarolli: [Nervously] Oh- hey there. Thank you, I appreciate that.

''{Fizzarolli and Blitzo finds it hard to ignore the crazed fan and walks past him to get away. Just as they were aheard, the crazed fan zips past them to be in their way, stopping them from leaving.}''

Fizzarolli: Woah- oh- okay.

Burnie Burnz: After seeing your shows, I wanted to get into clown performing, too!

{While Fizz was looking a bit nervous, Blitzo looked like he didn't care.}

Demon Fanboy: I'm really good!!

''{Fizz gives a nervous chuckle and heads toward him to give the fan a handshake as a sign of appreciation. Blitzo, on the otherhand, was scowling at the fan and somehow recognizes him.}''

Blitzo: Hey, aren't you that creep who's always trying to sniff around our dressing rooms?

{As Fizz was about to give him a handshake, the crazed fan suddenly grabs hard on it and pulls Fizz up close to his face, completely oblivious to Blitzo's presence.

Burnie Burnz: I have the best idea for a duo performance between us, that should spice up your act. Picture this: We start it like a romantic, ballroom dance or a-

Blitzo: Dude, weird fuckin' pitch. Fuck off!

Burnie Burnz: I was talking to the clown, asshole!

{Burnie Burnz twists Fizzarolli around to face away from Blitzo so he can continue on with his crazy sexual obsession with him.}

Burnie Burnz: I'm sorry, Fizzie, I'm not normally so aggressive, I promise. I've just waited my whole life for an opportunity like this! {Up close of the fanboy's glasses reflecting the anxiously nervous Fizz} With your fame, and my raw, undiscovered talent, I know we can-

Blitzo: Hey, shit-dick, beat it now or I'll make ya swallow your fangs!

''{Blitzo has had enough of this creepy stalking moment and comes up to break it up. Burnie Burnz keeps on ranting as if Blitzo was not here.}''

Burnie Burnz: Fizz! You don't want me to leave, right? Tell him you don't want me to go!

''{Fizzarollo was very uncomfortable about their encounter. He decides to not deal with this anymore and pulls his hand back.}''

Fizzarolli: I- uhm- We have to go now. Thanks though!

''{Fizzarolli leaves the obsessed fanboy. Blitzo shove past him with one hand out of the way with a deadpanned look. Burnie Burnz realized what happened and holds his arm in a heartbroken pain.}''

Burnie Burnz: Eugh! Fiiizz! FIZZAROLLIIII!

{Fizzarolli makes one glance behind to Burnie Burnz before leaving with Blitzo.}

Burnie Burnz: Fine! Fuck you! You think you're better than me, you elitist prick? Your act's fucking trash anyways!

{The scene comes back to Blitzo and Fizz with Blitzo looking back with disgust.}

Blitzo: Cheeeese and hot sauce Fizz, your fans are something else.

Fizzarolli: What if my acts are trash? What if I'm never good enough?

Blitzo: Hey, hey don't let one asshole get to you, 'kay? You're- you are plenty good enough. -

Fizzarolli: But I have to be perfect.

Blitzo: [Groaning] Do you?

Fizzarolli: I'll just have to keep practicing, and someday, maybe, I'll be good enough for M-

{The sweet tender moment between Blitzo and Fizzarolli was suddenly cut short by a tv static scene that blocked the entire thing before the scene apparently fixes itself to the present where an explosion occurs as Mammon reappears on screen.}

Mammon: It's me, Mammon! And I'm here to announce the amazing new brand: {showcases the new robotic android of the original Fizzarolli} Fizzie!! We got a Fizzie for every occasion!

{The commercial shows various Fizzarolli robotic items that are branded for every purposes and skills such as toys being stomped on, fireman, therapist, Fizz waiting in a shopping line, a doctor, Fizz that was big and obese before deflating into being small and skinny, Hellhound kids chewing on Fizz while fighting over it, a teen Imp using Fizz as a chair while giving a thumbs up, three horny female Imps licking and sucking on a Fizz}

Mammon: We got fluffy, toy Fizzie, fireman Fizzie, therapist Fizzie, wait in line for you Fizzie, doctor Fizzie: beeps every time it senses cancer! Fat Fizzie, skinny Fizzie, so many Fizzies! And if you wanna fuck 'em, you can! We got Fizzies for the kids, Fizzies for the teens, and Fizzies for you sick, fucking degenerate adults! We got 'em all! All based on my new face, Fizzieee!

''{Mammon then brings up the adult Fizzarolli on camera. He appears to be nervously smiling with a bead of sweat on his forehead. He jabs a thumb to himself to show he's the one and only real Fizzarolli.}''

Fizzarolli: That's me! [Uncomfortable laughter]

Mammon: Buy yours now! Do it!

''{The commercial scene zooms out with a giant "Buy" logo behind Mammon and Fizzarolli. Fizzarolli makes one last nervous chuckle before the commercial explodes in the scene.} ''

[We cut to Fizzarolli looking into his mirror, focused on a grey patch over his right eyebrow with great concern. He begins searching around the vanity area for something as Asmodeus stands behind the couch nearby.]

Fizzarolli: Oh fuck, Mammon is gonna notice that. Ozzie! Where did my foundation go?!

Asmodeus: This is the 10th year in a row you've done this supid pageant, Froggie. And you win everytime! How come you're always so dead set on this?

Fizzarolli: I wanna make Mammon proud, okay? He's- really passionate about the craft of clown. He expects perfection, so I- I gotta be perfect.

[Fizzarolli slumps into the couch as Asmodeus approaches him.]

Asmodeus: Fizz, you ain't perfect! Nobody is! How abooout, you sit this one out, and let someone else take the spotlight? You deserve a break. Or a vacation, (Fizzarolli smiles) where you don't have to fend off creeps the entire time.

Fizzarolli: (Scoffs) I had to fend of creeps before the robots, I just have thirstier ones, now. Besides, I just- have to do this!

Asmodeus: (frowns) Lemme rephrase: I don't like how many creeps you have now, thanks to Mammon. And I don't like designing sex toys with your likeness for him! Pretty sure you feel the same.

Fizzarolli: (frustrated) I just don't think about it, a toy is a toy! (calms down) Look, Ozz, I'm fine. Working for Mammon is a big deal to me. He's been my idol since I was five, I can't just- not compete! I'd be letting him down! Th-the fans down!

Asmodeus: (bluntly) Mammon can eat my ass. In a bad way. Fizz, I've known that guy since the start of Hell, and He. Fucking. Sucks. Always has! He doesn't even do clown shit anymore.

[Asmodeus sees the dejected look on Fizzarolli's face and lets out a heavy sigh before handing him a small jar of foundation. (apparently he had it on him the entire time) Fizzarolli takes the jar and, while facing the mirror, applies some until the grey patch is gone.]

Asmodeus: I just don't want you doing all this for someone's approval. Sometimes heroes let you down.

Fizzarolli: I know, Ozz. But this- i-is for me. I don't wanna lose.

[While watching Fizzarolli prepare for the contest, Asmodeus begins to think of something.]

[We cut to Blitzo, alone in his house. He is sitting on his couch in the dark while loudly eating cereal when his phone rings.]

Blitzo: [Mouth full] Yello?

[We intercut between Blitzo in his house, watching a movie about horses making out and devouring a large block of cheese whole, and Asmodeus standing behind a curtain in front of Fizzarolli's dressing room, initially keeping an eye on Fizz before walking away to continue with his phone call.]

Asmodeus: - Is this- Fizz's former bestie, then lifelong enemy, then recent hero, now newly rekindled sort of friend, Blitzø?

Blitzo: Ehn, that is a weird way to put it, but (proudly) eeyup, that's me.

Asmodeus: This is Asmodeus.

Blitzo: (surprised) Oh shit, the big Ozz himself! Heh, is there a reason you're calling me on the weekend Your sin- sinness? Sinfulness? Sin- (stammering) Royal, big man?

Asmodeus: You've lived rent free in Fizz's head for years, so I can't help feel he values your take on things.

Blitzo: Yeah, I was the one who usually had the stronger opinions. Yeah like, like one time, he tried convincing me that juggling was cool, but it's only a little cool at best.

Asmodeus: Look, he's deadset on re-entering Greed's yearly clown pageant.

Blitzo: [Sarcastically] Wow, big fucking surprise there.

Asmodeus: I was hoping to have some... backup in convincing him that this thing is a waste of time.

Blitzo: (confused) What? why? Doesn't he always win?

Asmodeus: 'Cause Mammon is a selfish, manipulative, piece of shit! (calms down) And Fizz doesn't listen to me when I try to tell him that.

Blitzo: (considering) Well, my special skills are killing things without giving fucks, and pointing out people's flaaaws... (smiling) Alright, count me in!

[Jump to the a circus tent in Greed as a crowd is gathered behind a blockage. A limousine arrives in front of the red carpet. Fizzarolli leaps out of the limo and greets the fans as they cheer him on.]

Fizzarolli: Hup- hup- Hey!

[Asmodeus steps out in his lowkey form (from Ozzies) while Blitzo, dressed as a bodyguard, falls out and faceplants onto the ground.]

Blitzo: Fuck!

[Fizzarolli and Asmodeus walk down the red carpet while Blitzo brushes himself off and then catches up with them, pulling out a gun.]

Crowd: We love you, Fizz! Yeah, baby, yeah!!

Blitzo: Wow, I have not been to a crowded event in years.

Fizzarolli: (annoyed) Can you remind me why you're here, again?

Asmodeus: I uuuh- invited him. To help you, with extra security. You know your fans. Since I can't be with you, I felt he'd be the next best thing.

Fizzarolli: (skeptical) He'd be the next best thing?

Asmodeus: Well he kept you safe when I wasn't able to, so I trust that.

[An imp child lets out a high-pitched laugh only for Blitzo to aim a gun at him. Asmodeus chuckles nervously.]

Fizzarolli: (grumbling) Mmm-hmm. L'il sus, babe.

[Fizzarolli walks ahead. Asmodeus and Blitzo share a knowingly glance at each other. Blitzo nods and Asmodeus leaves the area. Blitzo catches up with Fizzarolli.]

Crowd: You're doing an awesome job, Fizzarolli!

Blitzo: Come on, it's just like old times. I'll make sure no one gives you shit, today.

Fizzarolli: You mean besides you? -

[Suddenly, Mammon appears in a green explosion.]

Mammon: Aaay, there he is! (holds Fizzarolli's face by the jaw) Now how's my bright, shiny, brand baby doing? Ready to reclaim your win another year? Yeah?

Fizzarolli: (muffled) You know it, Mammon sir.

Mammon: (puts Fizzarolli back down) Goooood, cause, you know, I saw your competition, and it's pretty stiff, right? You are gonna have to try extra hard like- fixin' that posture. (Fizzarolli straightens up) Not gonna lie, you're looking a bit chungo, yeah?

[Mammon pats Fizzarolli's stomach in emphasize. Blitzo removes his sunglasses in disbelief.]

Mammon: Maybe lose a few so we don't gotta make any more adjustments to the Fizzies. People like 'em skinny as FUCK. (gestures how skinny fans like the Fizzies)

Fizzarolli: (awkwardly) Oh- right, sir. Of course! I'll work on that.

Blitzo: (appalled) What?!

[Blitzo approaches Mammon and Fizzarolli. Fizzarolli is nervous about introducing Mammon to Blitzo and starts to shake a little from the interaction.]

Mammon: Oh? And who's this dumpster-diver ya got here with ya?

Blitzo: (in a matter-of-fact tone) Hi, yes, nice to meet you, I'm the one who saw through your fake-ass bullshit (Mammon's eyes narrow) from the day I had to spend all my savings on the shit covered, dick show you called a performance. Thanks for that, by the way.

Fizzarolli: (nervously) Haha- ha- ignore him, sir. He's uh- he's like this all the time. He thinks he's funny.

Blitzo: Offended.

Mammon: (smiling) Riiight, yeah. You can shut your (HONK) ass mouth, boy. (to Fizzarolli) I'll see you on stage! And don't forget to fuckin' smile Fizzarolli.

[Fizzarolli gives Mammon a big smile and a salute. Mammon steps closer to the tent.]

Mammon: The smile is the face people like to seeee froooom you!

[Mammon disappears in a puff of smoke.]

Blitzo: Wow that guy sucks so hard.

Fizzarolli: (frustrated) Look Blitzø, I don't know why Ozz brought you here, but can you at least not talk back to my boss?! I need this gig!

Blitzo: Why? Don't you have the world's best sugar daddy?

Fizzarolli: I just need it, okay?! (sighs then to himself) Smile inside and out.

[Fizzarolli walks further down the red carpet with a smile on his face while waving to the crowd as they cheer.

Crowd: We love you, Fizz! Ready for another win, Fizz?

Fizzarolli: Oh, pfft. Well, I don't wanna assume, but as always I have an act that's without a doubt gonna

Competition: (in unison) Fucking lose!

[Fizzarolli stops and turns to see a fish demon stop in front of him. She flips her fin hair then moves to reveal her sister before they pose together. The crowd goes wild for the new addition: The Glam Sisters.]

Fizzarolli: (gasps, then nervously) Oooh, fun. You gals gonna be competing as well? That's really nice.

[The girls continue posing as they speak.]

Glam: You can shut up now you fugly imp.

Glitz: Yeah, see we didn't come to chat.

Glam: We came to win.

Fizzarolli: Wow, what attractive attitudes you got.

Glam: Like we care what your opinion is Fizza- (stops to think) ah--

Glitz: (quickly responding) "Rotty!"

Glam: (annoyed) Shut up, I was thinking of one!

Glitz: (sassy) Should've been faster.

Glam: Whore!

Glitz: Slow-ass, bitch.

Blitzo: You know it's pretty telling that you snatches can't even keep your stupid mirror schtick together. It ain't cute.

Glam: We don't need to.

Glitz: We put our energy towards our performance.

Glam: And winning Mammon's favor.

Fizzarolli: (smiling) Oh, well. I look forward to seeing what you do, and may the best clown w-

Glam Sisters: (in unison) We plan to.

[Glam laughs as Glitz flips off Fizzarolli. The sisters walk passed Blitzo and Fizzarolli into the tent.]

Fizzarolli: --win.

[Music starts]

Blitzo: Aw man, I didn't a rat's ass about this competition, but Christ on a stick Fizz, pile drive those sluts.

[Fizzarolli begins to feel the pressure of the competition.] [The scene changes to inside the tent where a shark-shaped arena is housing the competition. All the contestants appear on stage as the crowd goes wild. Mammon sits in a web at the very back, accompanied by two robo-fizzies, one of them fanning him. Mammon sinks his teeth into a chicken drumstick as the contest begins.]

Announcer: We've certainly got some quality up here tonight, folks. Will Mr. 10 years running come out on top? Or is it time for fresh meat?

[Fizzarolli preforms his juggling act on a unicycle but ends up with the balls bouncing off of his head.]

♪ Juggling, it's objectively cool ♪

♪ Our returning champ is nobody's fool ♪

♪ But what's this? ♪

[The Glam SIsters above him are on a tightwire. Glitz is sitting on a unicycle peddling while holding up Glam, who is upside down and juggling the balls with her feet. Glam lets the balls fall, landing on Glitz's knee as she balances them perfectly.]

♪ The twins bring it up to the wire ♪

[The girls are then lit on fire as they glare smugly.]

♪ Also, they're on fire ♪

♪ Points for style (Points for style) ♪ ♪ The crowd goes wild (Crowd goes wild) ♪

[The scoreboard changes, putting Glitz and Glam in the lead with 123 points. Trailing behind is Fizzarolli with 115.]

♪ It's the pie gag and the twins want a taste, ♪

[Glitz and Glam smile to the audience as they pick up a pie with one hand and hold each other's free hand.]

♪ but what's this? ♪

[The sisters prepare to shove a pie in their face when Fizzarolli appears in between them to take the hit. Glitz and Glam glare angrily as Fizzarolli sits down in a chair nearby then poses as a pile of pies drop on top of him. He kicks as a leg upward and the residue of pie lands on the girl's heads]

♪ It's Fizz in the face ♪ ♪ He takes the cake and he eats it, too ♪ ♪ He's hungry to win, and he's covered in goo ♪

♪ That's point for cream the crowd screams ♪

[The scoreboard changes again, putting Fizzarolli in the lead with 375. Glitz and Glam trail behind with 327 points.]

♪ Ba-ba-ballons he's pumping them out ♪

[Fizzarolli blows up seven balloons then twists them together to make an image of Mammon's face.]

♪ From where I'm sittin' you can hear the crowd ♪

[The Glam Sisters appear, holding a crown made out of balloons.]

♪ Not give a shit cause the twins are here ♪

[Glitz and Glam place their crown on top of Fizzarolli's Mammon face, stunning him. Mammon laughs impressed with the action.]

♪ They're full of sin and they're here to win ♪

[The scoreboard changes, once again, this time tying Fizzarolli and the Glam Sisters for first place with 666 points each. Glitz and Glam grin maliciously as they glare at a nervous Fizzarolli.]

♪ Holy moly, things are not looking good for Fizz-a-rolli ♪ [The crowd cheers as Mammon appears on stage.]

Mammon: And now you [HONK], we are down to our clowny finalists.

[Mammon rushes over and holds up Fizzarolli.]

Mammon: My very own pride and joy, the marketable son I never had, Fizzarolli! (crowd cheers) And the surprisingly funny women act that made me reflect on my earlier statements:

[Mammon drops Fizzarolli as he approaches the other finalists, Glitz and Glam.]

Mammon: The Glam Sisters!

[Glitz and Glam pose with Mammon as Fizzarolli watches in fear.

Mammon: Now we're gonna have a quick meet 'n greet with our finalists, Mammon: So fork it over kitties! You know it's worth it! [Manaical laugh]

[Mammon laughs maniacally as he takes the large bags of money from the guests before pushing and kicking them into the area. He then notices that someone put lint and a rubber band in his hand. The poor imp child eagerly stands in front of him until Mammon snaps his fingers and a minion places a "Poor Sap" bag over his head and takes him away.]

[Inside the "Meet 'N Greet" area, Glitz and Glam are posing for pictures while preforming some acrobatic tricks. Fizzarolli, hiding behind a cardboard cutout of himself, quietly approaches Mammon at the entrance.]

Fizzarolli: Hey Mammon, uh- I may not be uh- i-in the right headspace to interact with the fans right now. Is it okay if I maybe skip the whole thing?

Mammon: (still collecting money) Psh, of course not.

Fizzarolli: I just really don't think that I'm really

[Mammon picks up Fizzarolli by the face, muffling any explanations.]

Mammon: Aaaw, come on Fizzie my boy. Don't you wanna do this for your fans? Listen to them!

[A crowd of rabid fans are waiting to meet Fizzarolli, including a giant furless bear demon.]

Mammon: They're dying to meet you! Dying to see your little Fizzie face! You gotta make a good impression, mate. The better the impression, the more they'll want a piece of you they can take home and fuck! Don't you want that, Fizzie? To be fucked?!

Fizzarolli: Uhhh, I mean, (stammering) no, not really actually.

Mammon: Fizzie, I-I'm not gonna lie, I want that. (holds Fizzarolli close to him, tightly) So come on, just do this one thing for me.

Fizzarolli: (muffled) Okay, sir.

Mammon: (excitedly) Aw, you're a bloody legend, Fizzie! They're gonna wanna fuck you, (hugs Fizzarolli tightly again) like you're fucking my heart with joooy right now! Now get out there and make me proud, (spins Fizzarolli) you stupid, little, (HONK).

[Mammon disappears in a burst of smoke. Fizzarolli coughs as Blitzo appears nearby, hanging from the ceiling by a cord attached to his belt. Blitzo, however, is unable to get himself rightside up.]

Blitzo: Wow Fizz, you let him talk to you like that? You got some kinda secret kink I should know about or something?

Fizzarolli: It's just how he is.

Blitzo: I mean shit, if he talked to me that way--

Fizzarolli: (groans) Ugh, it's fine.

[Fizzarolli walks over to meet his fans.]

Fizzarolli: Heya folks, where ya from? (Demon fan flashes her breasts at Fizzarolli) Oh Lust, love it there, obviously. Wet dreamsville, hah! (signs books, toys and even a hellhound's chest) Best pharmacies in Hell! Ragesburg well, (southern accent) Nice to meet cha, partner. (Wrath Imp spits proudly) Ha ha, I don't do accents. Fun! (stands in front of crowd) Ah, nice to meet you, too! Thank you so much for coming to the show.

Crowd: (chanting) Fizz! Fizz! Fizz! Fizz!

[Fizzarolli frowns solemly until he notices a kid imp waving happily at him.]

(Start ASL)

Kid: Fizzarolli! I’m a big fan! (F-CLOWN! I BIG ADMIRE-PERSON!)

Fizzarolli: Come on over here. (COME)

[The kid rushes over and opens up his book. Fizzarolli happily signs it.]

Kid: I want to be a clown just like you. (CLOWN SAME)

Fizzarolli: You can do anything you want to do. (IF WANT CAN WORK)

(End ASL)

Fizzarolli: I hope you're excited for the biiig finale!

FAN: Boo! Boo! Sellout piece of shit!

[The crowd looks around confused, wondering where the booing was coming from. Fizzarolli gestures the kid to head back into the crowd.]

Fizzarolli: (nervously) Uh- wh- c-come again?

FAN: Ughh, you're act is such fucking trash; always has been.

[The "Fan" climbs up behind the back of the crowd, revealing himself as Burnie Burnz, the imp stalker obsessed with Fizzarolli.]

Burnie Burnz: Except now, I have to see your smug face plastered on everything, everywhere! And, you can't read all about it on my review blog: fuck-Fizz-but-not-in-a-sexy-way dot-compainer, dot-com, dot-org, dot-gov.

[Burnie falls back into the crowd having lost his balance. Fizzarolli shifts nervously at the reunion.]

Fizzarolli: Hah, well, anyway folks, heh--

[Burnie reappears, having crawled his way to the front of the crowd.]

Burnie Burnz: You're not even a clown anymore. All you do is work at that (turning around as he stomps his foot, dramatically) overpriced, sleaze joint, and then every year you come back here to put us through the same tired, old routine.

[Blitzo watches through his sniper scope as Burnie begins to approach Fizzarolli, forcing the performer back before recognizing him.]

Burnie Burnz: Is there a single original idea in that head?

[Fizzarolli finds himself literally backed into a wall with no way out.]

Fizzarolli: (nervousness turning to panic) I uh- uh- uuuh- (shaky laugh)

Burnie Burnz: (towering over Fizzarolli) You fucking suck, and so do your products. Your sex-bots can't even get me off right, you know-

[Blitzo lands in front of Burnie and aims his sniper rifle at him. Burnie freezes with his hands up, but it does nothing to stop him from talking.]

Burnie Burnz: What? Still think you're too good to even talk to me? Still gotta get this chump to stand in for you? You're fucking pathetic. (passionately) To think, what we could've been together (furiously) if you hadn't been too up your own ass to listen!

[Blitzo aims the gun forcefully at Burnie.]

Blitzo: Yeah, one more word out of you, Twat-stain, Imma blow your head clean open in front of all these fucking kids.

(Blitzo stops and looks back when he hears Fizzarolli hyperventilating. Poor Fizzarolli is clearly beginning to have a panic attack. Blitzo's worry turns to rage as Burnie begins the laugh maniacally. Blitzo slams the hilt of his gun into his face, knocking him down. Burnie's face is now bloodied and bruised with one of the lenses of his glasses is cracked.]

Burnie Burns: You're not done with me, Fizzarolli.

[Burnie runs back into the crowd and disappears. As Fizzarolli continues to hyperventilate, Blitzo rushes over and catches him when he collapses.]

Blitzo: Hey, hey- woah woah, you good?

[Suddenly, Mammon appears in a green smoke, throws Blitzo aside and holds up Fizzarolli.]

Mammon: Yeah, mate? You alright Fizzie?

[Fizzarolli looks up at Mammon, who glares at him, threateningly.]

Fizzarolli: (clearly not okay) Yeah- yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I'm- I'm fine, yeah, heh.

[Mammon looks Fizzarolli over and smiles.]

Mammon: Tell you what, I'll let the hotties go on before ya, give ya some time to get your shit together. (quietly, but menacingly) Get your shit together, Fizzie. You're a bloody legend. (yelling enthusiastically) You're a bloody legend, ya bitch!

[Mammon spins Fizzarolli, sending him toward the backstage entrance. Fizzarolli struggles to stay standing, still shaken from the ambush. Blitzo rushes back over, still concerned for Fizzarolli.]

Blitzo: Oh shit, that guy got to you, didn't he? You know you don't have to-

Fizzarolli: I do Blitzø, I do.

[Fizzarolli walks over to the stage as Blitzo rushes after him.]

Blitzo: Fucking hell, Fizz this is stupid. That clown shit is not this important.

Fizzarolli: This job is! Without it I'll lose-

Glam SIsters: (in unison) Everything!

[The Glam Sisters laugh evilly as they step through the backstage door, their eyes shine brightly through the dark before fading.]

Blitzo: Seriously that guy is a fucking dick, (Fizzarolli goes up the stairs) and he's using you for everything cause you're likable, and he's a fucking trash fire.

Fizzarolli: No, he's not! He's just trying to make me good enough.

Blitzo: Good enough for what? [Pop music starts] - ♪ Get ready for the new look ♪

♪ New rhythym and a new hook ♪ ♪ Not here to cuddle ♪ ♪ more like leave you in a puddle ♪

♪ Little double trouble got ya boy shook ♪ - ♪ Ha, ha, here's the sitch' ♪ [Rapping] ♪ Feed sin with ya taxes ♪

[Rapping] ♪ Greedy greed wins where the cash is ♪ ♪ Wanna sell my funny, slutty body to the masses ♪

[Together] ♪ Feelin' lonely on a Saturday night ♪ ♪ Well money can't buy happiness ♪ ♪ But it can rent you paradise ♪

♪ Give in to temptation ♪ ♪ Take your time I'll be patient ♪

♪ Be my little piggy let me ♪ ♪ scratch your dirty itch ♪

♪ I'm a klown, bitch ♪ ♪ Fix up your frown, bitch ♪

♪ Gimme the crown, bitch ♪ ♪ You hear that sound ♪ ♪ You're goin' down ♪

♪ Cause I'm a klown, bitch ♪ - ♪ Get ready for a- ♪♪

[Heavy breathing]

- O-Okay, Fizz. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. It's okay, it's fine. You have a show to do soon, it's fine.

[Gasps] Oh- oh no, oh- no, no, no, no. [Strained] No, no- [Hyperventilating]

It's okay, you're fine. You need to be fine.

ASMODEUS: Fizz! Are you okay?

- Why does everyone keep asking me that?? You shouldn't be here, Asmodeus. I'm fine, please! - [Struggling grunts]

[Mumbling] Come on. Froggie. - I'm fine! I'm fine!

Just needed a minute! - You aren't okay, you're shaking. - Ozz, I'm about to go on for the finale,

I need some time to mentally prepare. - Fizz, come on! I'm trying to talk to you,

You can't force yourself to- - [Interrupting] Ozz, I have to do this. This could be my last chance to prove that I'm still good at this.

That it's not over! That I'm still good enough! It's not just Mammon.

I'm fine. I just- need to be better. - You think you need to be this perfect, model performer,

but that's because Mammon is always forcing that image onto you!

- But everything I have is because of Mammon. I have this life. I have security. I have you.

Without Mammon I wouldn't be- I wouldn't have-

I just- I have to win this. - Fizzie. - I don't want to lose.

Because I feel like if I lose this, I lose you. - [Scoffs] How would you lose me?

Come on, Froggie. - You're with me because of who I am at my best! I'm barely worthy of working with a King of Sin

cause THIS is who I am. Without all this, I'm just nothing,

and Mammon made me this. I owe it all to him.

- Fizz, Mammon didn't do shit. You already were this. You'd be this no matter what!

You are the most inspiring demon I have ever known, and meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me.

I adore your inventiveness, your attitude, your resilience. And- you're just the cutest little thing alive. [Fizzarolli laughs]

Also, you are a waaaay better performer than Mammon ever was,

and thaaat's just facts. - It's- It's hard, you know? To t-trust that.

I- I just- I love you so much, Ozzie. - And I love you too, Fizzarolli.

And I would whether you win this bullshit or not. - Well, I kinda spent my whole warmup

[Music starts] having a panic attack, haha. - ♪ Crooked horn, crooked grin. ♪

♪ You're a crooked, horny, ♪ ♪ freaky, little joker. ♪ - ♪ You're a deadly sin. ♪

- ♪ And I don't wanna hear another goddamn word about ♪ ♪ Win, win, win. ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, I think you're messy, ♪ ♪ but I'm messy, too. ♪

[Guitar strumming] ♪ No, no, no, I wouldn't clean a thing ♪

♪ when I ended up with you. ♪ [Guitar strumming] - ♪ I don't know you waste your time on me ♪

[Spoken] - ♪ Baby, all I got is time. ♪ - ♪ When there's so much I'll never be. ♪

- [Laughs] ♪ Holy shit, babe. ♪ ♪ There's so much you can't see. ♪

- ♪ What can't I see? ♪ [Together] ♪ Oh, oh, ♪

ASMODEUS: ♪ you're a broken record, ♪ ♪ don't you ever shut your crooked little lips ♪ - [Spoken] ♪ What do you want me to do with my lips? Heh-heh. ♪

[Together] ♪ Oh, oh, oh you sure are lucky ♪ [Together] ♪ You make my crooked heart do ♪

[Together] ♪ freaky, little flips. ♪ - ♪ You make my crooked heart do ♪

♪ "Froggie" little flips. ♪♪ - Ribbit. [Laughs]

[Sighs happily]

[Kissing sounds] FAN: You're gonna listen to me now, BITCH.

- Oh so you two are an item? Well congratulations, you fucking hypocrites.

MAMMON: Uuuh- D-Don't worry, folks. I-I'm sure Fizzarolli will be out soon with a grand fucking performance.

[Explosion] [Applause and cheers]

[Dramatic music starts] ♪ I have wasted time. ♪ ♪ I have seen my use. ♪

♪ I have packaged and sold every part of me! ♪ ♪ Suffered a lifetime of abuse. ♪

♪ I have lost myself. ♪ ♪ I have worshipped at your feet. ♪

♪ And here I am standing on top of the world ♪ ♪ with some bitches to defeat. ♪

♪ I've played the game, I've won it all. ♪ ♪ They've screamed my name, ♪

♪ they bought the doll. ♪ ♪ I've seized the day, ♪ ♪ now I've got one thing left to say-ay-ay, ♪

♪ Fuck you! ♪ ♪ Here's my two-minutes notice, fuck you! ♪

♪ Time to quit and smell the roses. ♪ ♪ Say goodbye, ♪

♪ While I look you the in eye and say, Fuck you! ♪

MAMMON: [Spoken] Interesting song. I wonder what fuckin' this is about. FIZZ: ♪ Fuckity, fuckity, fuckity fuckity you! ♪ ASMODEUS: [Spoken] It's about you. MAMMON: [Spoken] Wait, what? FIZZ: ♪ Fuck you! ♪

♪ I have taken shit. ♪ ♪ Been crushed under your heel. ♪

♪ I have suffered for profit ♪ ♪ and suckered for fame, ♪ ♪ made a fortune you could steal. ♪

♪ I've had enough, I've hit the wall. ♪ ♪ I'm tired of taking your calls. ♪

♪ It ends today, ♪ ♪ Now there's just one last thing to say-ay-ay, ♪

♪ Fuck you! ♪ ♪ I wish I'd said it sooner, fuck you! ♪

♪ Cut you off, just like a tumor! ♪ ♪ Hope you die, ♪

♪ Kiss my ass goodbye, you cuck, fuck you! ♪

Eeugh- [Circusy music] ♪ Have you ever felt sick and tired ♪ ♪ of doing the same shit everyday with your anger brewin' ♪ ♪ Eatin' shit for a boss that you're sick of obeyin' ♪

♪ If you ever felt the same let me hear ya say it! ♪ [With ensemble] ♪ Did you really think I was gonna stay? ♪

♪ Spending life bent over with your fist in my "a". ♪ ♪ Slander me, say I'll never work in this town, ♪

♪ If I stick around I'll be six more feet under the ground! ♪ ENSEMBLE: ♪ (Fuck you!) ♪

FIZZ: ♪ Wo-oh-oh! ♪ - ♪ (Here's my two minute's notice, fuck you!) ♪ - ♪ Suck it, greedy bastard! ♪ - ♪ You're a fucking, ass clown! ♪ - ♪ (Time to quit and smell the roses!) ♪

[With ensemble] ♪ Say goodbye, ♪ ♪ too late to apologize! ♪

♪ So this is it, ♪ ♪ Mammon you sad sack of shit, ♪

♪ Fuck yooou! ♪

- ♪ You bitch! ♪ ♪ Yeah!! ♪♪

Thank you all so much. You know, it's always been one of the greatest thrills of my life performing.

And I'm so glad to bring you all one, last show.

Cause now, I quit!

- Pffbth! WHAT?! QUIT?! You miserable piece of shit!

What do you mean quit? - I meaaan, I quit. I'm done, [Australian accent] G'day, mate!

- [Growling]

[Fizzarolli gasps] ASMODEUS: Oh that, motherfucker. MAMMON: [Growls] You fucking ungrateful little shit!

[Growls intensify and turn into a scream.] I gave you everything!!

You are practically in my image! I raised you like the son I didn't want!

ASMODEUS: [Growls] You'd better back the fuck up, Mam.

- Ho-ly shit! I say, I say. - Ha-ha, hooo. Look who's acting like a big fuckin' hero.

Careful what you say, Ozzie. Wouldn't want your little secret getting out,

would we? - I don't care anymore! - Ozz? - Because if you let him quit,

I could tell everyone hereee that you- - What? That I love him? Well I do!

CROWD: [Fangirling] I knew it, I knew it!

- Oh- uh. Shit. Ah- you dirty bitch.

You are gonna regret revealing that, Ozz. [Sinister laugh] [Fizzarolli growls]

[Laughing continues] [Screaming]

[Sighs happily] - So does that mean we win?

ACK!! [Lovey-dovey giggling]

BLITZØ: So um, who tops?

[Fizzarolli groans]