Asmodeus/Quotes

This is a transcribed copy of iconic quotes by Asmodeus. Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the respective episodes.

"Ozzie's"
"♫ Give me a thrust! Show me some lust! From the groin to the bust! In desire we trust, in the House of Asmodeus. ♫"

- Asmodeus, singing "House of Asmodeus"

"Who's that at the table? Is your date a demon prince? Stolas, is that you?"

- Asmodeus, when seeing Stolas at Ozzie's

"♫ My dark lord, how the mighty do fall. You used to have a smoking wife, a kid, you had it all I hope you didn't give it up. So, you and him could get it on ♫"

- Asmodeus, to Stolas

"Aww... ain't that just such a happy display? It sickens me! GET THE FUCK OUT. "

- Asmodeus, to Moxxie and Millie

"Oops"
"About that. You're still going to that contest rehearsal without me?"

- Asmodeus, to Fizzarolli

"It's the Greed ring. One of the cities is literally called Ransom."

- Asmodeus, to Fizzarolli, about the Greed Ring

"But you haven't been to the Greed ring alone since becoming Mam's big brand figure."

- Asmodeus, to Fizzarolli

"Yeah! Cuz we're so not in love!"

- Asmodeus, when he and Fizzarolli get interrupted by the work assistant

"Just come right back when it's over. And keep your phone on ya, okay?"

- Asmodeus, to Fizzarolli

"Larger. You can never be too large, mmhahaha, you can never be too large. Hm… smaller, smaller. Hit the spot right there, oh, that's good. I like-oh, I like that, that's good, mhm!"

- Asmodeus, to his factory employees

"Stolas! Hey there, birdie babe. Haven't seen you since you crashed my club, how ya' been? Hmhmhm, still gettin' yo' kink on with that feisty imp?"

- Asmodeus, to Stolas

"Well, I can tell you. If you're looking for a love potion, then you came to the wrong fucking guy. I don't fuck with that artifical bullshit."

- Asmodeus, to Stolas, when listening to his feelings for Blitzo

"Lust shouldn't be about force. It's an ART! To be earned and enjoyed. It's all about that journey to pleasure town, you feel me?"

- Asmodeus, to Stolas

"Oh! Hmm, Stolas, my heart bleeds for you! But my partner- uh, business partner, Fizzarolli, HATES your imp guy. Blitzo, right? Yeah. HAAATES."

- Asmodeus, to Stolas, about Blitzo

"Not my story to tell, but trust me. I would help if I could, but I can't. Sorry…"

- Asmodeus, to Stolas

"Do you have any idea who you are FUCKING WITH?! "

- Asmodeus, when watching Crimson's video message

"Can I just sign it already, like, can we move this along?"

- Asmodeus, about signing the contracts of Crimson's demands

"HURRY UP!"

- Asmodeus, getting impatient when Crimson's lawyer reads the contracts

"THAT'S IT! I'm going to fucking END YOUR LIFE!"

- Asmodeus, to Crimson's lawyer

"I'm so glad you're okay, babe... You ain't never leaving the palace without protection AGAIN."

- Asmodeus, to Fizzarolli after he's safe and sound

"I know. I don't care. Cuz they know if they tell anyone, I'll... BREAK THEM."

- Asmodeus, to Fizzarolli, while giving his employees a warning if they tell anyone about their secret relationship

"It's been an intense day. Just, take it easy, okay?"

- Asmodeus, to Fizzarolli

"Well, I was stuck with Stolas the whole time, who, by the way, asked me, to give him one of my crystals as a gift for that guy you hate! So... I told him, "NO!" Mm-hmm!"

- Asmodeus, to Fizzarolli

"Alright then... ♫Anything for you...♫"

- Asmodeus, to Fizzarolli, after discussing about giving Blitzo the crystal

"MAMMON'S MAGNIFICENT MUSICAL MID-SEASON SPECIAL (ft Fizzarolli)"
"This is the 10th year in a row you've done this stupid pageant, Froggie. And you win every time! How come you're always so dead set on this?"

- Asmodeus, to Fizzarolli

"Fizz, you ain't perfect! Nobody is! How abooout you sit this one out, and let someone else take the spotlight? You deserve a break Or a vacation where you don't have to fend off creeps the entire time."

- Asmodeus, to Fizzarolli

"Lemme rephrase, I don't like how many creeps you have now, thanks to Mammon. And I don't like designing sex toys with your likeness for him! Pretty sure you feel the same."

- Asmodeus, about making Robo Fizzies for Mammon

"Mammon can eat my ass. In a bad way. Fizz, I've known that guy since the start of Hell. And HE. FUCKING. SUCKS. Always has! He doesn't even do clown shit anymore."

- Asmodeus, to Fizzarolli, aobut Mammon

"I just don't want you doing all this for someone's approval. Sometimes heroes let you down."

- Asmodeus, to Fizzarolli

"Is this Fizz's former bestie, then lifelong enemy, then recent hero now newly rekindled sort of friend, Blitzo?"

- Asmodeus, on the phone call with Blitzo

"You've lived rent free in Fizz's head for years, so I can't help feel he values your take on things."

- Asmodeus, to Blitzo

"I was hoping to have some backup in convincing him that the thing is a waste of time."

- Asmodeus, to Blitzo about Fizzarolli

"'Cuz Mammon is a selfish manipulative, PIECE OF SHIT! And Fizz doesn't listen to me when I try to tell him that."

- Asmodeus, to Blitzo

"I uhhh... I invited him, to help you, with extra security. You know your fans. Since I can't be with you, I felt he'd be the next best thing."

- Asmodeus, to Fizzarolli, about Blitzo

"Well, he kept you safe when I wasn't able to, so I trust that."

- Asmodeus, to Fizzarolli, about Blitzo

"You think you need to be this perfect model performer, but that's because Mammon is always forcing that image onto you!"

- Asmodeus, to Fizzarolli

"Fizz, Mammon didn't do shit. You already were this. You'd be this no matter what! You are the most inspiring demon I have ever known and meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me. I adore your inventiveness, your attitude, your resilience. And you're just the cutest little thing alive! Also, you are a waaaaay better performer than Mammon ever was, and thaaat's just facts."

- Asmodeus, to Fizzarolli

"You'd better back the FUCK up, Mam!"

- Asmodeus, to Mammon, after the king of greed transforms to threaten Fizzarolli

"What? That I love him? Well, I do!"

- Asmodeus, openly admitting his feelings for Fizzarolli in front of Mammon and the audiance present

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