Exes and Oohs/Transcript

This is a transcribed copy of "Exes and Oohs". Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode. ''[The scene opens with an exterior shot of I.M.P. Headquarters. Cut to a scene inside the office with Moxxie holding a jug, and Loona texting on her phone. Moxxie looks around.]''

Moxxie: You know, I checked the scale today. (inhales) And it said I lost two pounds this week.

[Loona looks at Moxxie, then rolls her eyes back to her phone, indicating what little interest she has in Moxxie's comment, much to his annoyance.]

Moxxie: I. Am not. FAT!

''[Cut to the front door kicked open by a furious Millie, as she stomps around the office mumbling angry. Passing Loona, she hits a button entitled "Nut button" that summons a cardboard cutout of a human saying "Hi I'm a Hooman!", then throws a knife and lunges at said cutout. Moxxie looks at her disturbed.]''

Moxxie: Millie, honey. Everything okay?

[Millie hisses back at Moxxie, disturbing him even more, but she manages to calm down.]

Millie: Yeah. Just... bumped into an ex.

Moxxie: Oh! Oh...

Millie: He just kept going on about how he has money now, and "a bright future," and "a bigger cock."

Moxxie: Wait, what?

Millie: (yelling) Every time I see his stupid face, I can't help it, I just need to--

''[Millie punches a filing cabinet in frustration. Blitzo enters the room shortly after.]''

Blitzo: What the fuck is all this noise?! I got a client!

Moxxie: Sorry, sir. I'll get this all cleaned-- (holds a photo of two imps in horsesuits) what is this?

Blitzo: Uh... research! For science! Just put it back correctly, okay, I alphabetized them. [walks back into his office] Okay, so let me get this straight: you don't want us going to Earth at all for this job?

[Cut to the inside of a mansion, with a businessman holding a lit cigar, and his chair facing a green fireplace.]

Client: Correct. That will not be necessary. I'd like to meet you and your whole crew at my estate.

Blitzo: Uh, you want us killing someone in hell, 'cause I gotta tell ya, that ain't exactly our business no more.

Client: I'll tell ya all about it when you get here. (smokes cigar) It's in regards to a business venture I'm sure will be very worth *through the phone* your time.

Blitzo: Ooh, how ominous. *chuckles* Fine, whatever, what's the address?

Client: Transportation has already *through the phone* been taken care of.

''[Blitzo notices a helicopter in front of his building. He runs to the main office Moxxie and Millie are in to find the helicopter in front of the main window.]''

Blitzo: What the fuck is that?

''[The helicopter shoots a grappling hook under the window, breaking the wall in the process. Loona looks on without a word.]''

Blitzo: Satan's ass crack! Enough with the walls shit, we have a door!

[With the damage walls, a wind gusts all the photos Blitzo had been saving.]

Blitzo: My research!!

''[Two imp children grab one of the photos and are visibly disgusted; one of them crying and the other vomiting from the result. The helicopter approaches Blitzo, creating a bridge for them to walk upon, and the pilot steps out.]''

Pilot: I.M.P.? Right this way, please!

[Moxxie points a gun towards him.]

Moxxie: Uh, sir? What's going on?

Blitzo: Now don't worry, it's just some fanchy shmuck from Greed wanting to do business with us.

[Blitzo, Moxxie, and Millie walk towards the helicopter.]

Moxxie: Uh, sir, I don't think this is a good idea.

Blitzo: It'll be fine. Now get your asses moving.

[Blitzo pushes Moxxie and Millie in the helicopter, and as she tries to buckle herself in, Millie notices her seatbelt is broken.]

Millie: Is this thing safe?!

Pilot: Don't worry, we are professionals!

[However, they were NOT careful as they then take out a huge chunk of wall as they fly off. Later, the very same helicopter is seen flying out of a hanger in the Greed Ring as they fly over Loo Loo Land, which is going under reconstruction, along with other carnage as they fly over a sign reading, "Welcome to Nomafia Town; No mafia here! We're Mafia free!"]

Moxxie: *disdained groan* I hate this place.