Queen Bee/Transcript

This is a transcribed copy of "Queen Bee". Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.

''[The scene opens with Loona sitting in the back of a car. Her phone buzzes, and she looks down and sees Blitzo trying to call her. She declines the call.]''

Driver: (offscreen) You want me to drop you off here?

Loona: *glances out the window* Oh! Uh! yeah. Yeah, this looks right. I, uh... haven't been here before.

''[Loona steps out of the vehicle and music can be heard playing as the car drives off. She looks down at her phone and texts Vortex.]''

Loona: (over text) Hey, I'm her

Loona: (over text) Oh shit

Loona: (over text) *here, sry :)

[Loona looks around nervously, until Vortex calls out to her.]

Vortex: *waves hand* Loo-naaa!

Vortex: Hey, girl! Glad you could make it!

Loona: Tex! Yeah, hey. Thanks for inviting me.

[The two walk into Bee's mansion, where the party is taking place.]

Loona: Course! Course! Hey, everyone! Meet the new face!

[Vortex howls in excitement, prompting everyone else to do the same.]

Vortex: You want a…drink or anything?

Loona: Oh, uh… *tail rises* sure! Totally…

[Loona drops her fake smile and looks over to a group of valley girl-esque hellhounds.]

Vikki: And so, I told him "I'm not gonna go get it, unless you fucking throw it this time."

Dalmatian demon: That is so, not fetch!

Vikki: Not fetch!

[Before Vikki could continue, Loona chimes in nervously.]

Loona: *nervously* Ha ha ha, yeah! Like, that happens all the time. Aha…aha…

Vikki: Oh-em-gee. Loona? "Lunatic Luna"? That you?

Loona: Uh, yeah. It's Loona… yeah.

Vikki: Wow. I can't believe you're showing up to another party. I mean, do you even remember the last one?

Loona: *grits teeth* I'm sure you'll remind me.

Vikki: *takes out phone* Yeah, this? *shows her a picture of Loona vomiting* This you, right?

[Loona growls angrily in response.]

Loona: Why do you still have that?

Vikki: *looks over to the picture* It brings me joy. You know, you're supposed to keep things that bring you joy?

[Loona growls even more at her.]

Vikki: Wow, you're being really negative. Your aura is being really aggressive right now.

Loona: Oh, yeah? Well, maybe it's 'cus I'm in the presence of a massive bitch!

[The word "bitch" echoes throughout the party, making everyone else gasp in disapproval.]

Vikki: *feigns being offended* Oh, my dog! Wow!

Loona: What? Is that not an okay thing to say? Like, come on, it's true!

Demon: (offscreen) You can't say that.

[Loona's ears droop in response as Vortex comes back with drinks.]

Vortex: Did I miss anything?

[Loona notices and puts up her fake smile again.]

Loona: *takes drink* No, no, no! No, nothing. *clears throat* No.

[A voice offscreen booms through a microphone, attracting most of the partygoers.]

Unknown Demon: (offscreen) Haha! How're my partygoing bitches tonight? Awooh, awooh!

[Vortex smiles at Loona in response, inviting her over.]

Unknown Demon: You ready to party with the Queen Bee of Glu-tto-ny? Come on.

[The demon reveals herself to be none other than Beelzebub, who was twirling around the disco ball as she hypes up her audience of partygoers.]

Beelzebub: Hell, yeah! 'Cus the honey is flowin' tonight! And this bitch is about to get fuckin' wild! Let's get it started!

[Beelzebub grabs onto a pole. Cut to Loona looking around nervously as Beelzebub starts to sing her song.]

Beelzebub: Cotton candy, cotton ca— candy

Candy, candy, candy, candy, candy, candy

Hey, I'm whatchu need, I'm watchu want I got it all, a carnivale, I'll bring you up, I'll take you down, I'm sticky sweet, stuck in your teeth like cotton candy, Cotton candy (Ah-ah, ah-ah) Cotton candy (Ah-ah, ah-oh) Cotton candy (Ah-ah, ah-ah)

I'm whatchu want, not watchu need (Ah-ah, ah-oh)

(A brief shot of A Hellhound drinking peering at a lava pit then getting knocked down was seen)

Beezlebub: Hey, I don't know why, I'm whatchu want, but it's the truth

I'm not your lie, let them eat cake, let them eat pie, Or better yet, let them eat cotton candy, Cotton candy (Ah-ah, ah-ah) Cotton candy (Ah-ah, ah-oh) Cotton candy (Ah-ah, ah-ah)

''I'm whatchu want, not watchu need! Cotton candy skies, Sweet as apple pie, I can't help but shine, Brighter than the starlight in the sky''

Beezlebub: Cotton candy, Cotton candy (Yeah) Cotton candy, I'm whatchu want, not watchu need, So, watchu want? Ya hungry? Take a bite! Get fucked tonight! (So, watchu want?) Your Queen Bee brings the sweet stuff, so keep making me that mother fucking honey. Yeah, keep it comin'! ''Cotton candy (Ah-ah, ah-ah) Cotton candy (Ah-ah, ah-oh) Cotton candy (Ah-ah, ah-ah) I'm whatchu want, not watchu need! Cotton candy skies! Sweet as apple pie! I can't hеlp but shine! Brighter than the starlight, Cotton candy skiеs, Sweet as apple pie! I can't help but shine (Woo!) Brighter than the starlight in the sky!''

(Beelzebub ends her performance with a firework of confetti and the hellhounds cheer as Loona shakes the cotton candy out of her hair)

Beelzebub: Awooh, awooh! Vortex! (she flies over to Vortex) The party is buzzin' now! Fuck! (shje dusts herself off) I feel like I went a little too hard on the confetti this time, though. I have like, a rainbow in my vagina right now. (she notices Loona) Oh, hey! Is this the sweet pup you told me about?

Loona: Excuse me?

Beelzebub: She's a fucking cutie! Where have you been hiding, girl? (laughs)

Loona: Is there something funny?

Beelzebub: Nah, I'm just really high on all this tasty energy right now. Tex says you don't get invited out much. I hope this itty-bitty get-together can serve as a fun first time.

Loona: (she briefly looks behind her to see a hellhound slide down a staircase only to get hit in the crotch when he gets all the way down) Mm-hmm.

Beelzebub: I would've thrown a bigger one, but I couldn't convince Belphegor to let me break into her stash of party drugs. So fucking lame! I mean, I usually just steal them, but Belle changed the locks. (she conjures herself a bottle of beer) She says I'm a total jackass for trying, but hey... I'm proud to be a total jackass. (she drinks the bottle)

Vortex: Heh. Anyway, yeah, Bee, this is Loona. And Loona, this is my girlfriend, Bee.

Beelzebub: Nice to meetcha, bitch!

Loona: Oh, this is... she's hot. (she widens her eyes)

Beelzebub: Ha! Holy shit! Okay. Tex, you didn't tell me she was hilarious. That's so funny.

Loona: Right.

Beelzebub: I love that that's the first thing you say to me. You don't give a shit how freaky you come off, and that's fucking beautiful. (she moves next to Loona) You're my new favorite person.

Loona: Am I, though?

Beelzebub: Yeah, bitch! (laughs) No, really. Reminds me of the time I saw Satan without a shirt on. I was like, "Oof! Boy! You are hot as hell!" But then I wanted to die, 'cause it was so awkward, 'cause he's more like a brother to me. You know, but not actually my brother, so I guess... it was fine. I could hit that... (Loona looks around awkwardly) Anyway, girl, you have a good time tonight. Get some sweets, get some eats. Drink it, tear it, fuck it up! Whoo! (walks over to some party guests) Cheers, honey. Thank you for coming. Do you need anything? Are you having fun? Are you good? Are you drunk? (a hellhound with a cone full of beelzejuice nods) Okay, good. Okay, great. (she walks off)

Loona: Yeah, I'm gonna go.

Vortex: Uh, what? Why? You just got here. At least one drink, right?

Loona: Nope, you really wouldn't like me after one drink. (she puts her cup down and walks out the door, shedding tears as she calls Blitzo)