The Circus/Transcript

This is a transcribed copy of "The Circus". Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.

''[The episode opens with an exterior shot of the Goetia mansion. Cut to child aged Stolas asleep in his bed, surrounded by stuffed animals while hugging one resembling a demonic Max from Sam & Max. Stolas wakes up, yawns, and smacks his lips.]''

Stolas (Young): (eyes shoot open in realization and sits up) My birthday, my birthday! It's my birthday!

''[Stolas leaps out of the sheets and lands on all fours on the floor. He runs off to his dressing room, arms raised in excitement as an Imp butler walks into view to attend to him.]''

Stolas (Young): Yaaaay! Birthday, birthday! WOOHOO! Birthday tiiiiime!

Butler: (opens a tin of hair gel and begins applying it to Stolas) Calm yourself, young Prince. You know excitement is unbecoming of a Goetia.

Stolas (Young): Oh! Right.

[Stolas ''takes a deep breath to calm himself. The butler walks off to retrieve Stolas' vest and cape, returning to put them on him.]''

Stolas (Young): But, Father told me, today is the day, I am old enough to know my purpose and responsibility! (eyes sparkle with glee)

Butler: Of course. (places a crown on Stolas' head) I'm sure it will be wonderful.

''[Stolas follows the butler out of the dressing room down a large hallway. The wall is lined with four giant pictures of Stolas at various prior ages. The first shows Stolas in his egg, sat upon a pillow and topped with a crown. The second shows him as a hatchling swaddled up in his crib, his swaddling cloth held together by a pin bearing the Goetia family insignia. He is accompanied by the demon Max plush seen earlier. The third shows him as what can be assumed to be a toddler, smiling as he hugs the demon Max plush. The fourth and final shows him in his current on-screen appearance, hugging the demon Max plush as an unknown creature drips green slime on his head.]''

''[Scene cuts to Stolas and the butler standing in front of large double doors, which open to reveal a throne room. Paimon, Stolas' father and King of the Ars Goetia, is seen sitting on the throne in his monstrous black demon form. He stands up, his form shifting to display various demonic creatures as he transforms into his normal, bird-like self. The butler walks over to Paimon and stands next to him as Stolas approaches his father.]''

Paimon: Ahhhh! There is my little, uh...

[Stolas smiles gleefully up at his father.]

Paimon: (whispers to butler while pointing at Stolas) Which son is this one? There's so fucking many.

Butler: Stolas, your highness.

Paimon: Stolas! Yes! Ha! Right, right! (chuckles) That's the one! (begins walking toward Stolas) The owl boy.

[Cuts to Paimon standing in front of little Stolas.]

Paimon: (leans toward Stolas, surprising him) Well, my little one, (stands up and walks behind Stolas) it is finally your day of becoming a true part of the Goetia family. How good for you. Are you ready to know what you'll be meant to do to serve Hell?

Stolas (Young): Yes, Father!

''[Paimon opens some kind of portal to the cosmos as he speaks, showing Stolas the stars he is meant to study. Two comets, blue and pink respectively, fly out of the portal and up out of view.]''

Paimon: You will be entrusted with the study of the Earth's skies, the stars, the prophecies they hold, all that stuff. (closes the portal and summons a Grimoire) Isn’t that fun? You will begin the studies of your Grimoire, which will grant you access to the mortal realm to study and observe, (levitates the Grimoire to Stolas) and you will grow to be a mighty Prince of Hell, with your own legions to lead and pass on your knowledge to!

Stolas (Young): (happily confident) I will do my best, Father!

Paimon: (leans toward Stolas) Wonderful! Also, son, you are destined to sire (pulls a picture from his cloak) a precautionary addition to the Goetia family, so you are now engaged. (shows Stolas the picture) Congratulations. Isn't she charming?

''[Cuts to a close-up of Paimon's picture. It shows a young Stella angrily strangling a dog-like creature with a bow in a strand of its hair and tears falling from its eye. A second creature just like it wearing a collar with the same bow lies on the ground, tears flowing as Stella has one foot planted on its head, likely having already been assaulted by her. Stella herself looks similar to her adult appearance, but of course much younger and has her hair tied up in pigtails.]''

Stolas (Young): (begins crying and turns away from the picture in fear)

Paimon: Ohhh! That's an ugly noise, son. Here, (pats Stolas on the head) how about you cease this bitch crying?

Stolas (Young): (cries harder)

Paimon: Hm, that usually works. Oh, would you like it if I took you to the circus in town? Children enjoy the circus, right? (pats Stolas on he head again) Would that distract you enough from your non-negotiable future marriage?

''[Stolas does not respond. A tear rolls down his cheek and drips off.]''

''[Cuts to a sad Stolas and the butler standing at the top of the stairs into a circus tent. Paimon is not physically present, but instead is shown on the glass of a mirror the butler is holding up. Various Imps are seen filling the bleachers. Circus music plays in the background.]''

Paimon: (looks around, then whispers to butler) Is there a spot that's close to the front, but also far enough that I don't have to-- (sniffs and gags) ugh-- smell the poor?

[Quick pan to Stolas, the butler, and Paimon in the mirror in an otherwise empty bleacher labeled with a crude cloth sign reading "GOETIA" in dripping black paint.]

''[Cuts to a dark arena as spotlights instantly light up, revealing various circus Imps as they begin performing. Two Imps in clown attire juggle, two more in the background perform spinning front flips into the foreground, and a female Imp does a handstand on a demonic horse as it gallops by the Goetia section of the bleachers.]''

Paimon: (chuckles and claps from within the mirror)

''[Scene pans via the stilt-supported legs of an Imp to two clown Imps juggling while on stilts. A female Imp is seen walking and twirling on a tightrope in the background, holding a yellow umbrella as she does.]''

''[Cuts back to the Goetia section, Paimon still chuckling and clapping within the mirror. Little Stolas, very clearly Not Having A Good Time Of It, halfheartedly flicks away a peanut that lands on his Grimoire.]''

''[Cuts to an Imp breathing fire. The camera pans out and down to reveal the fire-breathing Imp atop an inverted Imp pyramid supported by a wooden stand. Two more Imps in the background leap through hoops held by two Imps in the inverted pyramid, land on their hands, then jump to their feet as the crowd cheers.]''

''[A throwing knife flies in from the left and forcefully pans the camera to the right. The knife sticks itself into a wooden board, right next to the hip of a female Imp shown to be tied to said board. The camera pans out to show the knife throwing Imp as the crowd cheers. The Goetia section of the bleachers can be seen in the background.]''

[Cuts back to Stolas, now dejectedly slamming his forehead into his Grimoire as Cash Buckzo, the ringleader of the circus, begins speaking.]

Cash Buckzo: Nowwww, everyone's favorite thing about circus shit: the motherfuckin' clowns!

''[A multitude of frightening Imp clowns with glowing eyes leap out at the audience from behind curtains in the background. Cash Buckzo laughs as they fly outward. The Imps in the audience scream and pull away in terror.]''

[Cuts to a small foot stepping on a pedestal board accompanied by the sound of a bell jingling.]

Fizzarolli (Young): (off-screen) You ready, Blitzo?

''[Cuts to a child Blitzo giving a rope a quick tug. Note how Fizzarolli pronounced the "O" in Blitzo, who did not protest.]''

Blitzo (Young): Born ready!

''[Fizzarolli and Blitzo leap off of their boards and begin a flying trapeze act. They pass by the Goetia section of the bleachers, and time appears to slow down as Stolas looks up in awe and then blushes. The camera zooms in on Blitzo.]''

[Cuts to Blitzo landing on a ball as Fizzarolli swings away.

Blitzo (Young): Haaaaa! Tada~! (laughs) Heya, folks! Wanna see me make a horse?

''[Blitzo takes out a green balloon, blows it up, and attempts to tie it into a horse shape. It appears as an incomprehensible knot, then immediately pops.]''

Blitzo (Young): (eyes widen in surprise) Crap.

''[Blitzo continues pulling out balloons and attempting to make a horse but keeps getting the same result. His expression grows more worried with each popped balloon. At one point, the balloon somehow appears as a normal oval-shaped balloon. Blitzo is surprised, but the balloon pops nonetheless.]''

[Cuts to the audience, dead silent and unimpressed as Blitzo keeps trying--and failing--to make a balloon horse off-screen.]

Blitzo (Young): De-de-de-de-do-do-do-do- Ah, he he, (nervously) Horns! [He's finally made a horse except it has no legs] well, heh, it was a horse but then it ate too much sugar and it's legs stopped working so they had to amputate, now it's a gross worm horse.

Stolas (Young): [Begins to laugh, clearly charmed]

Blitzo (Young): (points at Young Stolas) See? He gets it. Because horses, they make no sense.

[The camera zooms over to show that Young Fizzarolli has joined Young Blitzo with a balloon of his own in his hand. His balloon is red.]

Fizzarolli (Young): Okay, Blitzo, that's enough *horsing* around [he makes a balloon horse perfectly on his first try], hey everybody look at this [presents the horse to the crowd] it's Banana Pudding the clown horsey [makes neighing noises, the crowd laughs while Young Blitzo looks down sadly]

Stolas (Young): I liked his broken horse joke, it was funny. Their legs do stop working when they eat too much sugar, it's called laminitis. [Paimon looks down at Stolas judgmentally]

[The scene changes to Cash drinking backstage as the butler walks in holding the mirror that has the connection to Paimon.]

Paimon: What a show, that was real great, so *ahem* that little clown you have my son really enjoyed that one, I was wondering if I could buy him.

Cash: Buy Him?

Paimon: Purchase him, yes, accurate.

[Paimon claps his hands and the servant pushes a button on the mirror. The mirror extends out creating the effect like he's leaning over Cash.]

Paimon: My son doesn't have any friends, you see, and he liked the little clown boy. It's his birthday, he's so sad and I don't want to deal with him. Can I write a check?

Cash: Well, Fizzarolli is a big draw. He has a few more shows to be in today, so it would be pretty expensive. (squeaky sound effect as he rubs his thumb and finger together in gesture)

Paimon: (chuckling) No, no, the other one.

Cash: (shocked) Blitzo?

Paimon: Correct. How much?

Cash: Wha- Well, he's my son. So… uh.

Cash: Hm… ah, how much ya got in your pocket?

[The butler digs around in his pocket and produces a crumpled-up $5 bill and an unopened condom.]

Paimon: A wadded-up five and a slim fit condom.

Cash: Ah, that's plenty. Done.

Paimon: Splendid. Fetch him for me and we will be on our way. [he claps his hands and portals out destroying half the tent in the process.]

[The scene changes to Fizzarolli and Blitzo playing with their balloon horses together.]

Fizzarolli (Young): I'm Banana Pudding, and I like to dance!

Blitzo (Young): I am Worm Horse (transcriber's note: I cannot actually tell if they're saying "war horse" or "worm horse" and my brain is having a hard time parsing it if someone with better ears could please double check that would be lovely, thank you) and I? I am sad!

Fizzarolli (Young): Why are you sad, Worm Horse?

Blitzo (Young): Because, I have no legs!

Fizzarolli (Young): Oh, well that's okay

Blitzo (Young): I lost all my legs in The War.

Fizzarolli (Young): (gasps) The war?!

Blitzo (Young): Yes! The Great Pirate War!

Fizzarolli (Young): No, no pirates.

Blitzo (Young): It's a great pirate warrrrrrr.

Fizzarolli (Young): (exasperated) if you keep talking about pirates, I will punch you.

Blitzo (Young): I fought bravely but I could not run fast enough they took my legs, there was blood everywhere!

Fizzarolli (Young): (laughing) Oh no, eww, no blood. Blood is disgusting.

Blitzo (Young): No, it's cool! (laughs)

Fizzarolli (Young): Well, Banana Pudding is here to save the day with his magical feet he dances around with. He will dance all over worm horse and make him feel better.

Blitzo (Young): and then (dramatic pause) there will be more blood! (squirts a red liquid onto the balloon horse)

Fizzarolli (Young): Blitzo! that's so gross! (laughing) stop.

Blitzo (Young): Never!

[Cash appears behind them, grabs Blitzo and pulls him up.]

Cash: Boy, I've got a job for you. You are gonna spend the day with one of the Goetia princes.

Blitzo (Young): Eww, why?

Cash: Because Money! Now listen carefully, you are being bought out to be his playmate, but I want you to steal as much from those rich fuckers as you possibly can.

Blitzo (Young): [scared] Steal? but what if I get caught?

Cash: Don't you want your family to be able to buy a bigger tent? better food? don't you want to be able to help me and your mama out?

Blitzo (Young): Of course I wanna help mama!

Cash: Then you gotta do this, everything those rich fucks have will be worth a fortune [hic]

Blitzo (Young): But, if I'm caught - I'm scared, dad.

Cash: There are scarier things, aren't there, son?

Blitzo (Young): But - [Cash makes sad eyes at Young Blitzo, he responds dejectedly] yes, Papa.

[The scene changes to Paimon, his butler and Young Stolas in front of their house while Blitzo and his father walk up to them.]

Paimon: Here is your new friend my son, happy birthday.

Stolas (Young): (excitedly) A friend?

Blitzo (Young): I guess. Hi, uh, I'm Blitzo.

Stolas (Young): I'm Stolas. (bows) It's nice to-- (gets smacked in the back of the head by Paimon) Ouch!

Paimon: Don't bow to that one! He bows to us. Idiot.

Stolas (Young): Oh, right. Sorry, father.

Paimon: I'm so good at daddy-ing!

[The scene changes to Young Blitzo and Stolas inside a library sitting on the floor surrounded by books. Blitzo is bored while Stolas is excitedly info-dumping about the books in question.]

Blitzo (Young): (groans)

Stolas (Young): This is my book on the difference between frogs and toads, there's a lot of differences! And this is my book on plants and herbs! Did you know plants can hear you?

Blitzo (Young): Plants are boring, this is all boring stuff.

Stolas (Young): Oh, I'm sorry. I've never had a friend to share my books with.

Blitzo (Young): You know what would be fun? A game. Let's Play 'Treasure Hunt'.

Stolas (Young): What's that?

Blitzo (Young): It's where we pretend we are pirates and we go around the house collecting all the nicest things and then we throw them out the window!

Stolas (Young): (incredulous) We…throw them out the window?

Blitzo (Young): Yes.

Stolas (Young): Since when did pirates throw things out windows?

Blitzo (Young): Since like, the dawn of time. Come on, pirates are always throwing stuff out windows.

Stolas (Young): I don't think they had windows.

Blitzo (Young): What, did a book say that?

Stolas (Young): Yes, actually! (pulls out two books titled "Pirates" and "The Porthole Myth") Several!

Blitzo (Young): Well in this game [he grabs the books and chucks them] we're throwing them out the window, because it's *fun*.

Stolas (Young): Well, that's an odd game. (gasps) Is this an Imp game?

Blitzo (Young): Sure, why not?

Stolas (Young): Well, if it's what you want to play?

Blitzo (Young): Let's do it!

[The scene switches to the two of them giggling and filling up bags with things from around the house while a version of Blitzo's theme that sounds vaguely music box-y plays.]

Blitzo (Young): (sprinting ahead) C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!

[Stolas runs behind him panting a little with the exertion. They continue going through different areas taking things and giggling. They stop at a chandelier and look at it in wonder. Blitzo takes a piece of it.]

Blitzo (Young): Yes.

Stolas (Young): Yay!

[The camera twirls around the two. They fall to the floor and lay on their backs giggling.]

[The scene changes and they run by a balcony giggling. There is a whistling noise. Blitzo runs up to the edge of the balcony with his bag of treasures. His father pops out of a bush down below and makes a 'throw to me' gesture. Blitzo looks behind him to Stolas, who is bouncing on a stool trying to reach something and doesn't see anything. Blitzo grunts with effort and throws the bag of treasure down to his father, who then ducks back into the bush.]

Stolas (Young): Blitzo, over here!

[Blitzo runs over to join him. The scene changes to the two of them outside by a tree. Stolas is sitting on the roots and Blitzo is climbing it. Blitzo falls out of the tree hanging by only his tail.]

Blitzo (Young): So, what is that, your diary?

Stolas (Young): No, this is my new grimoire! It's a spell book! I have to learn it so I can access the living world!

Blitzo (Young): The living world? Like the world with humans and stuff? Where the sinners come from?

Stolas (Young): Mmhmm.

Blitzo (Young): That's cool!

Stolas (Young): Yes! I'm supposed to use it to study the sky!

Blitzo (Young): Why?

Stolas (Young): My dad says I can find prophecies, but I don't really know. But, I'm supposed to, that's what my job will be when I grow up. To join the rest of the Goetia family.

Blitzo (Young): Well, you know what's I'm gonna do when I grow up? (jumps back on the tree) I'm gonna run my own circus and I'm gonna be the most famous imp ever and I'll be able to do what I want to do, all day! I'm gonna make so much money and buy myself a big building, with a big office!

Stolas (Young): A big office? For a circus?

Blitzo (Young): Yeah! A big office! Circus business with clowns and horses! and the horses will all have good names like Stapler and Biscuit Queen.

Stolas (Young): (giggles) I'm sure you will. That sounds like a good business.

Blitzo (Young): Yeah! And, if you want to apply, I'll hire you. Maybe.

Stolas (Young): (laughs) You'll hire me?

Blitzo (Young): Yeah, if I feel like it.

Stolas (Young): Well, I hope I qualify. (giggles) You'd be a good boss.

Blitzo (Young): You say that with sarcasm, but I totes would.

[The two laugh together and the camera pans out. A thudding sound effect and a title card "25 YEARS LATER" drops on the screen. Adult Stolas wakes up looking dejected. He groans and gets dressed in his robe, goes to his boudoir, and takes a bottle of pills. He goes to his library and opens up his grimoire, in the window behind him Blitzo appears and sees the magic floating out of the book. He tries to pull open the window to get inside. Stolas closes the book and walks away. He did not see Blitzo. Blitzo falls off the window.]

Stella: [muffled] Yes, together we're- (muffled)

[Stolas checks on a sleeping Octavia and then wanders into his kitchen where Stella is loudly having a phone call.]

Stella: I know still being married isn't a big enough occasion, but to be fair, it's no picnic being married to a boring stiff like Stolas.

[Stolas looks as though he wants to speak to her, but she holds up an index finger at him and he instead walks away to his kitchen table to drink his morning drink. He uses magic to open up and hold the newspaper up in front of him. It reads "Not Divorced: Anniversary Party! Couples only."]

Stolas: Stella, what in Hell is this?

Stella: Ugh, Stolas, you know I like throwing parties. Plus, it's true, so you know you can come if you want. (flips her hair feathers)

[Stolas takes a drink of his morning beverage and the image cuts to him drinking out of a goblet at a fancy party. We see the guests standing and dancing. Stella is with her two bird friends from the pilot.]

Stella: [Laughs loudly] No, Stolas is terrible in bed. I swear to fuck, he just lays there staring at the wall, and I have to do everything. It's embarrassing. [sighs] I'm glad one egg fell out of me so I could stop pretending to want to fuck his scrawny twig ass. [loud drink sip sound and then even louder laugh as she tosses one of her two glasses behind her and the glass shatters. Her friends laugh with her.]

[The camera pans to Stolas standing not too far away from the group, clearly hearing everything that's being said about him to his immense displeasure. The camera jumps out slightly so we can see he stands under a banner that proudly proclaims, "Not Divorced!" while Stella and her entourage walk away laughing.]

Stella: (turns to look directly at Stolas) What a pathetic fucking man.

Stolas: (snarls + bird sound effects. He catches a waiter's attention) Do you have anything stronger than this?

Waitstaff: We have absinthe, your highness.

(Stolas puts his wine glass on her tray and takes the skewers of mice.)

Stolas: Bring me all of it. (eats all skewers in one bite)

Stella: (muffled and in the background) Poor people! Ugh, I'm so glad that they're not allowed into this thing. I don't want them anywhere near me. (laughs) Can you imagine if you didn't have money? (laughs derogatorily)

[A different waiter brings Stolas a tray with a tiny shot glass and a green bottle of absinthe, he pours a shot. Stolas takes the green bottle and begins chugging it.]

Someone Off Screen: Stolas, Sir?

[Stolas chokes on his drink and spits it out.]

Stolas: I'm fine!

[Two Hellhounds stand holding Blitzo up between them one looks more wolf like and the other looks like a chihuahua or dachshund.]

Right Hellhound: we caught this nasty imp trying to sneak into your chambers, what should we do with him?

Stolas: Into my chambers, really? Oh, well, that is, concerning. (clears his throat) Leave him to me I will handle him accordingly. (blushes)

[The two Hellhounds unceremoniously drop Blitzo.]

Stolas: Follow me, Imp.

[Stolas walks past and Blitzo follows glaring around the room.]

Blitzo: Look, I didn't mean to interrupt your whatever party I was just trying to-

Stolas: Don't bother with excuses, I know why you were here.

Blitzo: (cringes) You do?

[Stolas leads Blitzo into a dark private room and closes the door behind them.]

Stolas: Yes, you are here (poses against the closed door) to ravish me, weren't you?

Blitzo: Uhhhhhh, you?

Stolas: Why else would you be breaking into my room? You could've asked to visit you know, it's been a long time, but I have a very good memory. [he claps his hands and candles light up]

Blitzo: Oh, yeah (sees Stolas' grimoire and you can see the journey on his face as he decides to play into Stolas' fantasies to get closer to the book) well you know I figured since you're a prince and all it might just be easier to scale the walls and slip on in. [he wiggles his eyebrows at Stolas] Certainly is easier than going through your fucking staff...

Stolas: One would think you might be here for nefarious reasons, if you are sneaking in during the cover of night.

Blitzo: Well, I wanted to crash the party, and it's always more fun you know to make an entrance.

Stolas: I recall how you enjoy making an entrance! (They walk to his couch and sit down together) So over two decades since I last saw you, are you still a circus clown?

Blitzo: Oh. (laughs) No, not anymore. No, I kill people now.

Stolas: Oh. (laughs nervously and pulls away a little) How afraid should I be?

Blitzo: (looks at the Grimoire and then back to Stolas) Well, I mean, [his voice changes from flat to more seductive and he intertwines their fingers] how afraid do you want to be?

Stolas: [a little flustered, confused maybe like he'd meant this as a joke that Blitzo was unexpectedly taking seriously] Oh, um, well, I, uh, you know, I was teasing I don't really -

Blitzo: Yeah, you seem pretty tense. (crawls towards Stolas) How about I... help you out there?

Stolas: Umm... (leaves the couch and Blitzo falls onto the floor) You know, this is, um, getting a wee bit, is it hot? I'm starting to feel it getting very hot... (Blitzo slams him against the bookshelf) Oh! What are you doing? [his grimoire wiggles and falls to the floor] I barely remember your name.

Blitzo: (watches the grimoire fall to the floor, he utilizes the ladder to pull Stolas into a dip, clearly trying to get closer to the book) It's Blitz. [His tail begins pulling the book closer]

Stolas: Didn't it have an "o" at the end, like a clown name? I remember - oh!

[They trip and Stolas Stumbles back hitting his bed. The grimoire slides by it. Blitzo pins Stolas to the bed.]

Blitzo: (sighs) Yeah well, it's silent now, 'kay? so call me... Blitz.

Stolas: (squirms backwards further up the bed pursued by Blitzo) Okay, Blitz, what are you doing to me?

Blitzo: What do you want me to do to you?

Stolas: I, uh, well, [Blitzo realizes that Stolas will be able to see that his Grimoire is missing and bites down on Stolas' neck as a distraction. Stolas moans.] Oh my fuck! Oh, wow... [moans and falls backwards into his bed] You are so forward, Blitz! Oh! What are we doing? [He sits up as Blitzo is on the other side of the bed trying to pick up the grimoire. Blitzo jumps and pins him back down].

Blitzo: N-no, stay down, dammit.

Stolas: Oh!? So you like to command, you like to be in charge, hm?

Blitzo: Yeah, I sure do [he reaches for the grimoire. Stolas turns on to his stomach and bounces Blitzo on his ass pulling him away from the grimoire]

Stolas: Oh, so you're a kinky little imp, aren't you? Do you like it when I talk dirty to you? I want you to [CENSORED] me with your [CENSORED] imp [CENSORED] get it all the way [CENSORED] get it all the way through me, you [CENSORED]!

Blitzo: [Turns Stolas's head around 180 and covers his mouth with his hand] Ew. Stop it.

Stolas: Yes, if that's what Blitzy wants. [Blitzo grabs the curtain from the bed poster and rips it making strips to tie around Stolas' eyes so he cannot see.] Blitzy, oh, my, yes!! [Blitzo ties his hands and feet to the bed as well] Oh, I've never had anyone want me this way! [Blitzo grabs the grimoire and starts to leave] You have no idea how long I've craved this kind of passion, and how much it means that the one who wants me is ... my first ever friend! [Blitzo stops looks back between Stolas and the grimoire].

Blitzo: (sighs) Alright, fine. [a breath] I can do this real fast.

A jump cut to a title card: THE MORNING AFTER "REAL FAST"

(We hear a thud and see Stolas startle awake in bed, from off-screen we hear Blitzo. It's the scene from the Pilot, but from Stolas' POV.)

Blitzo: Sorry, I fucked your husband!

[Blitzo scrambles off the table and leaves.]

Stella: (yelling up at Stolas) WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT, STOLAS?!!

Stolas: (yelling down from balcony) THAT was the sound of a FUCKING DIVORCE!! (He tears a celebratory "Not Divorced!" banner to just say "Divorced" and laughs triumphantly)

[Jump cut to a title card: NOW....]

[Stolas blinks awake, groaning in pain. He's lying next to a bottle of absinthe. He's still wearing his outfit from Ozzie's, though now his mascara is running down his cheeks. He goes and takes his pills which are labeled "Stolas' Happy Pills". He turns on his phone and scrolls through his photos which is a series of pictures of Blitzo or things related to Blitzo. Stolas begins to sing.]

Stolas: ♫ Owl in a cage ♫ ♫ You show your age ♫ ♫ Your sweetness has run foul ♫

♫ Without a change you're lost, exhausted ♫ ♫ By your time on stage ♫

♫ Then you walked in my room ♫ ♫ And light sparks in the dark ♫ ♫ Life was suddenly thrilling and new ♫

♫ What between you and I ♫ ♫ Just a comfortable lie ♫ ♫ I'm the fool who believes when you look in my eyes ♫

♫ Prince, all alone, upon your throne ♫ ♫ Your power is so frail ♫ ♫ You raise your voice ♫ ♫ You have no choice ♫ ♫ Inside your gilded jail ♫

[The noise of footsteps; Stella walks up behind him being dramatic on the balcony.]

Stella: The fuck are you doing?

Stolas: Reflecting.

Stella: Well, stop. It's annoying to hear you screeching your silly woes all the time.

Stolas: Why are you still here? You leave with Via on weekends, but then you stay around the house despite everything.

Stella: I like tormenting you. I want to keep reminding you of what you did.

Stolas: I know what I did. I would feel bad if I hurt you, but we both know I didn't do that. You and I were arranged for one reason; to birth a precautionary heir to the Goetia family, nothing more. I tried so many years to make it comfortable for us; to have this family, but it was never enough. The only reason I have endured your constant insults and cruelty was for that girl to have a normal life. ...I cannot do this anymore. I want you out. Now.

Stella: What do you mean, out?

Stolas: I mean out! Out of this palace, out of my life! We are getting The Divorce!

Stella: How dare you?!? (steps forwards as Stolas shrinks backwards looking slightly frightened of her) What do you think the rest of the Goetia family will think? [Her hand moves towards Stolas to backhand his face] Andrealphus--

[Stolas catches her hand, stopping it before it can hit his face and cutting her off.]

Stolas: I don't care what your arrogant brother thinks!! And the only thing the Goetia family wanted from our marriage is already 17, so it's over! I'm DONE!

Stella: [stares intensely, then pulls her hand away from him] Fine. I have no desire to stay in the place of a traitorous embarrassment. You have fallen from what little grace you had, and I know you'll pay for it.

''[Stella walks away. Stolas sighs and collapses onto the balcony.]''

[The spindle horse runs and forms the Helluva Boss Logo as the music from 'Stolas Sings' plays in the credits]