Angel Dust/Quotes

This is a transcribed copy of iconic quotes by Angel Dust. Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the respective episodes.

Hazbin Hotel pilot
"Yeah, yeah. Listen, keep this discreet ya hear me? I can't let it get out I'm offerin' my services to randos in the street! It was a quick cash grab... Ya got it?"

- Angel, to Travis

"Ouch! Ooh! Such an insult~ Lemme know when ya come up wit' somethin' creative to call me, ya sack o' poorly packaged horse shit! Tell the missus I said hi~.. shnookums~"

- Angel creatively insulting Travis

"OH MY GOD! My drugs! Damn it!"

- Angel, after his drugs get destroyed by a boulder

"Oh~! harder, daddy!"

- Angel, jokingly, to Sir Pentious

"Hm, kinky!"

- Angel, to Sir Pentious

"You know, ya really gotta watch what comes outta your mouth. I've been making these sex jokes the whole time, and it's obvious you ain't catching on.. I mean, it's just- sad!"

- Angel, to Sir Pentious

"Eh, you win some, you lose a few hundred.. Ahahaha! It wasn't that bad anyway...~"

- Angel, to Vaggie

"No, no, babe. Jokes are funny! I made you look...er...sad, and pathetic! Like an orphan... with no arms... or legs... Oh! With progeria! Great! Now, I'm bummed thinking about it! This thing have any liquor?"

- Angel, to Vaggie and Charlie

"Just don't get your taco in a twist, baby."

- Angel, to Vaggie

"Whatever pisses you off more. Is there seriously no liquor in here?!"

- Angel Dust to Vaggie, after being questioned whether the previous statement was supposed to be sexist or racist.

"Too late, toots. Wait, would that make me double dead? Heh- And where exactly do I go, to double Hell? Hahahahahaha! Sorry, you're stuck with me, bitch! Get used to it."

- Angel, to Vaggie

"Listen, who cares if some jack-offs got hurt? Most of 'em are ugly freaks. Look around, we got a buncha fuckin' harlequin babies down here!"

- Angel, about other demons

"Hey! This body is flawless! Everyone wants summa me, and I've got the creepy fan letters to prove it!"

- Angel, about himself

"Does that mean I don't have a free room anymore? Aw, well shucks."

- Angel, about the Hotel

"Eh, not big on politics."

- Angel, to Vaggie, about Alastor

"Pfft, he looks like a strawberry pimp!"

- Angel, about Alastor

"To be fair, do you trust any man? Any men? Men?"

- Angel, to Vaggie

"I can suck ya dick!"

- Angel, offering his services to Alastor

"Dirty Healings"
"Who ya callin' a "filly", busta? I'm more man you could ever be, baby."

- Angel, to the mob boss

"So, lemme get this straight. I show up with Val's money to pay, and you chickenshits pull the tough gangster routine on me, just like that? Why, to look cool? You don't look cool, you look sad."

- Angel, to the drug cartel

Overture
"If you're filming a commercial, can I suggest you take better advantage of the talented celebrity you have right here?!"

- Angel, to Charlie and Vaggie, while pointing at himself

"A famous porn star. I'll have the horniest sinners knockin' these walls down to get in."

- Angel, to Vaggie

"Why not? Sex sells, doesn't it? I swear, if you film me going at it with mister fancy-talk-creepy-voice here, you'd be rolling in participants willing to stay at this tacky hotel."

- Angel, giving his idea on how to attract sinners

"Oh, please, baby. This body was made to be exploited! I got the arms, I got the stamina, I got the legs, I got the lung capacity. *laughs* Oh, I got the legs! The gag reflex, the holes, the chest fluff everyone thinks are tits..."

- Angel, after Charlie said that she didn't want to exploit him

"I could keep goin' all night, baby."

- Angel, to Charlie

"Hey, I have a question. If freaky face over there is so powerful, then why can't he just make people stay here?"

- Angel, asking a question to Alastor

"What, you don't love being here with me, Whiskers?"

- Angel, to Husk

"Kinky! Come on, keep talking dirty!"

- Angel, to Husk

"I'm choosing to be here, and I think it's all stupid. We're in Hell, toots. That's kind of the end of the road, ain't it?"

- Angel, about staying in the hotel

"Hey, whatever means I can keep crashing here rent-free. Crack is expensive."

- Angel, to Vaggie

"That bitch is halfway down the street!"

- Angel, while Charlie is doing Happy Day in Hell

"I've been a bad boy, and I need a big, strong daddy to put me in my place...on the path to redemption!"

- Angel, while acting for the commercial

"Well, we could improv this shit. Baby cakes. Rawrrr."

- Angel, to Husk

"You're doing great, Vagina."

- Angel, mocking Vaggie

"Do you even know what that means?"

- Angel, asking a question to Vaggie

"Yeah, one of my better performances, if I do say so myself."

- Angel, about his performance in the hotel's commercial

"Shush, it's starting!"

- Angel, interrupting Charlie as the commercial comes on

"Wait... What? Why?!"

- Angel, complaining about the television

Radio Killed the Video Star
"Oh, please. You had less than half a chance when you started all this salvation bullshit. And now...ain't no silver lining this time, toots."

- Angel, to Charlie and Vaggie

"Well, while you're lookin, the rest of Hell is going nuts. People are already freaking out about the news. Look at what's happening in the Doomsday District."

- Angel, showing Charlie what is happening on the news

"Aah, heh, nothing. My boss, Val is just freaked out about the news, too. Like I said everyone's losing their shit."

- Angel, after Charlie saw one of the messages on Angel's phone from Valentino

"Cute idea and all, but you really going to go out in all of this?"

- Angel, to Charlie & Vaggie

"Nah, he's got a few more hits in him!"

- Angel, to Charlie about Sir Pentious

"We need a wall."

- Angel, to Alastor

"Hey, sweet cheeks. What you doing later? I love me a man with a giant... tool."

- Angel, talking to some demon guys

"So how'd it go? Yeah. Well, who would want to use their last days not fucking and fighting?"

- Angel, to Vaggie

"Are you fucking nuts? This chump was trying to kill us, like, literally 6 hours ago. And now you want to bring him in here to live with us?"

- Angel, to Charlie about Sir Pentious staying at the hotel

"Aren't you're supposed to protect this place?"

- Angel, to Vaggie

"Eh, I give you a week tops."

- Angel, to Sir Pentious

"Uh, what the hell am I then?"

- Angel, to Charlie

"This is stupid."

- Angel, refusing to clap

"I’m too sober for this."

- Angel refusing to play the clapping game

"'Oh, I'm a bad man on the streets, who never got enough hugs. Now, where's an innocent kid I can sell crack to?' Wow, who wrote this!?"

- Angel, reading Charlie's script

"'Hey, you! [...] Yeah, you look like a kid who could use some--. devil's dandruff?' Oh for fuck's sake."

- Angel, to Sir Pentious, reading the script

"Come on, kid, it'll make you cool like me... the crackhead."

- Angel, to Sir Pentious, still reading the script

"I... I'm going to bed."

- Angel, to everyone

"Sorry. Not now Fat Nuggets."

- Angel, to Fat Nuggets

"You slippery little shit! You're working for the Vees? I fucking knew there was something shitty about you."

- Angel, to Sir Pentious after putting a camera behind the books

Scrambled Eggs
"Oh, I will, but it's cash up front, and I know that one can't afford me."

- Angel, to Husk & Sir Pentious

"Something about myself....Oh, well how about this? I LOOVE to suck--! [...] Popsicles, ya sicko! Get your mind out of the gutter! But, you know, dicks too."

- Angel, to the group

"All right, new guy, you're up."

- Angel, to Sir Pentious

"If you're in the market for some ideas, I got just a thing for some "trust" buliding."

- Angel, to Charlie & Vaggie

"No activity requires more trust than BDSM, baby."

- Angel, to Vaggie

"No bond stronger than those formed through bondage. That's their motto."

- Angel, to Vaggie

"D-don't you even think about it--"

- Angel, refusing to battle before getting thrown by Vaggie

"I blame you for this you crazy bitch!"

- Angel, to Vaggie

"Made it. [...] Ugh! I just walked up all those stairs."

- Angel, after carrying Sir Pentious back all the way up stairs

"And then when that buff guy started beating the shit outta you."

- Angel, to Sir Pentious

Masquerade
"Ya know, this performance won me a 'Sex-x-x-x-i' award!"

- Angel, looking back at his performance

"What?! You said it was "Show n' Tell" day. I'm showin 'you my best film, and I'm tellin' you that it scored me a win over that bitch, Tiffany Titfucker."

- Angel, to Vaggie

"Alright dickhead, what makes you think you have any right to insult my work to my fuckin' face?"

- Angel, to Husk

"Fuck you. This is classy art."

- Angel, to Husk

"You weren't kidding! Haha, wow! Kitten's got claws! Meow!"

- Angel, to Husk

"Oh ho ho, me? Fake? Wow, I had no idea. Guess that's why I'm an actor, dumbass."

- Angel, to Husk

"Hello? Uh, yeah I'm-I'm... No, No, I just, I... No, I-I'm not... But, uh... Yeah, I'll be right there."

- Angel, talking to Valentino on the phone.

"Well, uh, looks like Val needs me for an... Uh-- emergency shoot."

- Angel, to everyone

"You know what? Fuck you. I don't give a shit what some drunk ass bartender thinks a' me. So why don't you just crawl back to whatever cave you came from porn critic."

- Angel, to Husk

"I'm sure you'll manage without me."

- Angel, to Charlie

"Dollface, it's my job. I know you want to fix everything, but unless you can fix my boss there's nothing you can do."

- Angel, to Charlie "Ohhh! Daddy, I... Uhhhh?"

- Angel, reciting his line while filming at the porn studio

"Do you really expect me to memorize this whole script?"

- Angel, to Valentino about the script

"Oh, no. So many burglars... and only one me! Whatever shall I do? I guess I'll have to do all of you! Ohh! So what are you gonna do ta' me?"

- Angel, to the porn actors

"No one gives a shit."

- Angel, to Rocky before he pushes him off the bed

"What in the ever-loving fuck are you doing here?!"

- Angel, to Charlie

"Please, please, just wait until I'm done working and we will talk about this I promise. But first, you've gotta go."

- Angel, asking Charlie to leave

"Oh, shit."

- Angel, after Valentino finds Charlie in the porn studio

"Oh, wow, mister robbers, I sure hope you don't hurt me with those...big guns of yours."

- Angel, to the actors

"Oh fuck, fuck, fuck."

- Angel, after Valentino put out the fire

"Look, Val, she just gets involved in everything. I'll tell her to leave. Just don't hurt her."

- Angel, to Valentino about getting Charlie to leave the porn studio

"Charlie! Just stop! Charlie, Leave!"

- Angel, stopping Charlie from getting angry

"I didn't want you to come here. I already asked you to leave and you didn't listen. You made things worse."

- Angel, to Charlie "Well you ain't! You actually want to help me? Get the fuck out of here! Right now, and let me finish my work."

- Angel, angrily asking Charlie to leave the porn studio

"I need a drink. The hardest you can make."

- Angel, asking Husk for a hard drink

"Pfft. Not possible, Just a long shoot, nothin' new. Eugh, I said a strong one."

- Angel, to Husk after he said Angel looks like shit

"Oh, I forgot. You're the wise old bartender who's seen it all."

- Angel, to Husk

"Get the fuck over yourself and pour me a real drink."

- Angel, to Husk after asking him for a stronger drink

"Oh sure, And where should I look? Hmm? In your bedroom, maybe? Under the covers? Maybe we can go and look together."

- Angel, to Husk "Oh, c'mon, I bet I can make those wings flap!"

- Angel, to Husk

"CALL ME FAKE ONE MORE TIME, MOTHERFUCKER!!"

- Angel, to Husk

"FUCKIN' ASSHOLE, Arrgh! God!"

- Angel, shouting at Husk before knocking his head

"Ya know what?! You would be fucking lucky to get a chance to fuck me! Ya know how much I'm worth?!? You know how many people would kill to have Angel Dust come onto them?! Fuck you!! Have fun being a lonely piece of shit!"

- Angel, to Husk

"I'm so fucked up!"

- Angel, laughing with the gang

"Haha, ya, ya, so I said. You couldn't afford me in a million afterlives! I got better options, right boys? Hey, baby, be a doll and bring me another one? Daddy's outta juice!"

- Angel, to the gangsters

"You think I ask for it? I don't ask for any of this shit! I didn't ask to be this way. I didn't ask for Charlie to save me. I didn't ask for you to save me. I can handle myself."

- Angel, to Husk "Oh, so you now you're going to act like you give a shit about me? You think after how you treated me, I'm gonna to open up to you? Please."

- Angel, to Husk

"It's not an act!! It's who I need to be. And this... This is my escape! Where I can forget about it all! How much I hate... everything. A place where I can get high, and not have to think about how much it hurts. And maybe... If I can ruin myself enough in the process... if I end up broken, I won't be his favorite toy anymore... And maybe he'll let me go..."

- Angel, opening up to Husk

"Eat lead, sucker! Hahahaha!"

- Angel, while shooting one of the gang members

"I told ya, I can handle myself, baby."

- Angel, to Husk

"Like I said, you don't know me. Sex ain't the only thing I'm good at."

- Angel, to Husk

"He had, like, three bills, and it took him, like, 30 minutes to count it. His eyes are so shit."

- Angel, to Husk about Valentino

"Charlie, it's fine. I get it. Thanks... for carin' about me."

- Angel, accepting Charlie's apology

"Ehhhhh... I think this is yours."

- Angel, to Vaggie to collect Charlie

"You read my mind."

- Angel, to Husk after he offered Angel a drink

Dad Beat Dad
"Well, I'd like to meet the big dick in charge."

- Angel, talking about Lucifer

"Heya, short king."

- Angel, introducing himself to Lucifer

"So uh, you and Alastor are like what? Friends?"

- Angel, to Mimzy

"Well, just didn't know he had any of those. He's been here a while and is still a big, creepy mystery. What's his deal?"

- Angel, talking about Alastor

"Ooh, drama."

- Angel, hearing the conversation between Charlie and Lucifer

"This is really getting good"

- Angel, just as Mimzy leaves

Welcome to Heaven
"It's who happened to me. And the answer is everyone. Twice! Val had me working 16 hours straight on a fucking whim. The absolute dick bag."

- Angel, to Niffty

"Arghh! What the fuck is with that wall?"

- Angel, reacting to the explosion

"Ho-Holy shit, Cherri Bomb? Long time no see, baby!"

- Angel, surprised to see Cherri Bomb

"I love seeing ya Cherri, but I'm too tired. I need to pass out."

- Angel, to Cherri Bomb

"Good, I need a drink after today. You know, Val he's into this waterboarding shit now, I don't know it's a kink."

- Angel, talking about his day

"I, uhh, I don't know, it's been a long night and I don't need to go too wild."

- Angel, to Cherri Bomb

"Aah... fuck it, let's do it!"

- Angel, after taking a drink

"Haha, Oh yeah, Keep 'em comin'! Come on, right here, right to Daddy."

- Angel, after Cherri Bomb brings more drinks { "She's like ten pounds soaking wet and-- oh shit, where'd she go?"

- Angel, on about Niffty and wondering where she went

"Dammit, Niffty. Sorry fellas, here, next one's on me."

- Angel, giving money to a group of people

"Look, she ain't used to this scene. I just don't want her to end up in the gutter like I used to."

- Angel, to Cherri Bomb

"Stop! You can't take that. God, Niff why are you bein' such a mess?!"

- Angel, telling Niffty off

"Oh, oh shit! Hey, hey hey... calm down, ya ain't a mess. It's fine... Ssshhh, hey, you wanna play with the kitty?"

- Angel, stopping Niffty from crying and asking her to play with Husk

"She's wasted, just go with it."

- Angel, to Husk, about Niffty

"Let's get the fuck outta here. Ok. Come on-- Where's Niffty?"

- Angel, getting the group out of the club before losing Niffty again "I said 'fuck off!'"

- Angel, to Valentino

"I may have to put up with your bullshit, but you ain't fucking with any of my friends."

- Angel, to Valentino

"Yeah, you do, in the studio, and you can do anything you want to me there, just like our deal says. But out here, I get to do what I want. So once again, fuck off!"

- Angel, standing up to Valentino

"There's room for everyone, and ya know... you could come crash with us too."

- Angel, to Cherri Bomb

Hello Rosie!
"Did you ever think she's sensitive about her lack of wings? Just like her lack of tits?"

- Angel, to Niffty, about Vaggie

"And where is Miss Fearless Leader anyway? Isn't it about time for another doomed-to-fail plan?"

- Angel, about Charlie

"Uh, Alastor and Charlie just left like they were running from their responsibilities. Should we be alarmed?"

- Angel, to Vaggie

"Well, look who decided to show up. We thought we were fightin' by ourselves."

- Angel, to Charlie & Vaggie

The Show Must Go On
"Hey, hey, hey, hey!"

- Angel, stopping Niffty from stabbing him

"Eh, you fuck one cannibal pool-boy, you've fucked them all."

- Angel, to Husk

"Hey, Charlie said live tonight however we wanted, so pour me a fresh one, and let's get to living!"

- Angel, to Husk

"Cuz, you know, I hear he's got two dicks."

- Angel, to Cherri Bomb about Sir Pentious

"Fuck!"

- Angel, after Adam destroys the shield

"HAA!"

- Angel, joking around with Husk

"Get somewhere safe. Arrgh!"

- Angel, to one of the Egg Bois just as he gets caught in a explosion

"That crazy motherfucker."

- Angel, before Sir Pentious sacrifices himself

"Fuck. You did good, buddy."

- Angel, just after Adam kills Sir Pentious

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