Masquerade/Transcript

This is a transcribed copy of "Masquerade". Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.

''[The episode opens with Angel Dust waking up in a dimly lit room, tied up to a chair. He tries to budge free but fails. His captor paces around him.]''

Captor: Finally awake, Angel Dust.

[Angel glowers but eventually regains his confident smile.]

Angel Dust: Yeah, and what's it to ya?

[Captor holds a knife against Angel's face.]

Captor: I want you to tell me where your boss stashes his vault.

Angel Dust: [laughs unbothered.] It's hilarious you think I'd tell you anything.

[The captor grabs Angel off the ground by the neck.]

Captor: Fine! I guess I'll just have to fuck the information out of ya.

Angel Dust: [Stares defiantly.] Do your worst. [Then breaks into a seductive smile.] Daddy~

[The captor rips his shirt open and engages in sexual intercourse with Angel, revealing this is a porn film played on the hotel's TV.]

Angel Dust (onscreen): Oh, yeah, baby~

[Cuts to Sir Pentious and Charlie watching creeped out, Vaggie annoyed and Niffty rather interested.]

Angel Dust: You know, this performance won me a Sex-x-xi award.

Charlie: It's, uh... Very... Honest?... Oh. [Charlie turns away, nauseous and tries to shield her eyes with her right hand.]

Vaggie: Ew.

[Charlies peeks from her fingers back at the TV screen before turning her head away to avoid watching with her hand covering her mouth this time.]

Angel Dust (onscreen]: Oh, harder, daddy~

Vaggie: Okay! Enough of that.

[''Vaggie tries to help Charlie by covering the side of her face with her own hand so she doesn't have to see the TV screen. She turns her head to Angel Dust with a disapproving and unamused stare.]''

Vagge: Angel, what the fuck?

Angel Dust: What? You said was show-and-tell day. I'm showin'  you my best film, and I'm tellin' you that it scored me a win over that bitch, Tiffany Titfucker.

[Husk is seen cleaning and wiping a wine glass.]

Husk: Ya know, not a very convincing interrogation scene.

Angel Dust: [laughs pissed off.] Alright, dickhead. What makes you think you have any right to insult my work to my fuckin' face?

Husk: You really gonna sit there and act like these scripts ain't hot garbage?

Angel Dust: [Gasps.] Fuck you! This is classy art! [Gestures with two hands at the TV screen.]

Angel Dust (onscreen): OH! FUUUCK!

''[Co-star slaps Angel's butt and bites it. Sir Pentious covers his eyes when he sees while Niffty lies on her stomach on the table with smile, kicking her legs back and forth as she continues watching.]''

Husk: That's bullshit. You get drunk and bitch about them all the time. Everyone likes to bitch to the bartender. I know everything about you and these motherfuckers at this point.

[Gestures to Sir Pentious.] That one. That one is an insecure buffoon whose lonely ass watches you idiots sleep.

[To Charlie.] Princess, is a bleeding heart who wants to solve everybody else's problems 'cept her own.

Charlie: What?! No, I-- What? Pfffft, no, no. [Vaggie just stares at her silently.]

Husk: [to Vaggie.] This one. [She turns her attention away from Charlie and scowls at Husk, growling under her breath.] Judges everyone and everything because she hates herself.

[Vaggie frowns before groaning.]

Husk: [Gestures to Niffty who smiles mischievously.] And Niffty? Hehhh... You don't even want to know what her deal is.

[Husk drinks from his bottle of whiskey/wine he is holding as Angel laughs and kicks his legs.]

Angel Dust: You weren't kidding. Oh ho, wow!

[Angel laughs in front of Vaggie's face briefly while she is still frowning before sitting himself down on the couches arm.]

Angel Dust: Kitten's got claws.

[''He gestures claws with his hand while looking to the side at Husk flirtatiously, causing his eyes to widen and his eyebrows to raise at that. Angel places his hand underneath Husks' chin, turning his head to face him closely as his hand adjusts against his cheek with his other holding the bottom of Husks' hand.]''

Angel Dust: [Sexily.] Meow~

[Husk immediately breaks away from his grasp and points at Angel with his index finger rather annoyed, causing Angel's eyes to widen and eyebrows to raise in surprise from the sudden move.]

Husk: And you! [Scoffs.] Don't get me started. I see right through you and all this bullshit and how fake you are.

Angel Dust: Oh ho ho, me? Fake? Wow, I had no idea. Guess that's why I'm an actor. Dumbass. And-- [Phone vibrates and rings.] Hold that thought.

Angel Dust: [answers the phone.] Hello? Uh, yeah I'm-I'm... No, No, I just, I... [Nervously.] No, I-I'm not... But, uh... Yeah, I'll be right there.

Angel Dust: Well, uh... Looks like Val needs me for an... Uh-- emergency shoot.

Husk: Uh-huh, sure.

Angel Dust: You know what? Fuck you. I don't give a shit what some drunk ass bartender thinks a' me. [Pulls out glasses/shades from chest fluff.] So why don't you just crawl back to whatever cave you came from, porn critic. [Husk grows annoyed at his comment as Angel flips him off and puts on hid glasses/shades. Husk growls and glares at him.]

Charlie: [Sprints after Angel.] Angel, you can't leave yet. [Tries to stop him from leaving by taking his hands and gently leading him back to the lobby.] We haven't finished our exercises for the day.

Angel Dust: I'm sure you'll manage without me. [Walks back over to the door to leave, grabs the handle, and opens it.]

[Charlie sprints back after him and closes the door with her back, trying to block him from leaving.]

Charlie: There isn't much time left for the hotel to prove itself.

[Angel places his hands on his hips and waist growing annoyed before facepalming trying to remain calm before taking off his glasses/shades with one hand and placing another on Charlie's shoulder.]

Angel Dust: Dollface, it's my job. I know you want to fix everything but unless you can fix my boss, there's nothing you can do.

[Charlie frowns at what he said Angel moves her out of the way to the door, opens it, puts his glasses/shades back on, and slams the door and leaves.]

Charlie: Uuugh, why is this so haaaard? What am I doing wrong?

Vaggie: Well, I mean... You're the princess of Hell.

Charlie: So?

Vaggie: So, you don't really use the power that comes with that, which I love about you, but maybe you can... I don't know, command a little more... Authority?

Charlie: [Whines.] But that's so meeeeaaan.

Vaggie: It's not mean exactly. It's... Uh aggressive kindness.

Charlie: Okay... I could be so aggressively kind to Angel's boss... That I convince him to let Angel spend more time at the hotel!

Vaggie: Sure, whatever gets you there, babe. ''[Cuts to Angel working at the porn studio. Valentino supervises and Travis appears as a director.]''

Angel Dust: Ohhh! Daddy, I... Uhhhh?...

[Angel reaches behind and underneath one of the pillows and grabs a paper to re-read the script before scoffing.]

Angel Dust: Do you really expect me to memorize this whole script?

Valentino: Just improv it. You think anyone watches for the dialogue? [points to Travis, who nervously smiles and shakes his head.] Action!

[A gang of four demons slam the door open and enter the room, preparing to initiate the sex scene as raunchy music plays.]

Angel Dust: Oh, no. So many burglars... [Sexily.] And only one me! Whatever shall I do? [Angel quickly glances back at the script before hiding it and setting it aside.] I guess I'll have to do all of you!

[One demon grabs and pins Angel to the bed.]

Angel Dust: Ohh. So what are you gonna do to me?

[Anegl hears the door squeak open as Charlie suddenly enters the studio his eyes widen in a panic.]

Angel Dust: Charlie?!

Rocky: Uh, my name's Rocky.

Angel Dust: [Pushes Rocky off of him and off of the bed as he sits up.] No one gives a shit.

Charlie: Oh, so this is where the magic happens. [As Charlie looks around she nearly bumps into a female Hellhound actor who just got done taking her bra off. Charlie blushes and shuffles back quickly and awkwardly from how close she accidentally was to her.] Oh, wow, that is-- [Charlie gasps and her blush disappears as she sees another male actor get slathered in mud.] That is a lot. [Angel then appears, putting on a robe and gently takes Charlie by her hand diverting her attention while he still sounds panicked.]

Angel Dust: What in the ever-loving fuck are you doing here?!

Charlie: I am the Princess of Hell, Angel. And I go where I please. [Whispers in a soft tone.] I'm here to get you some time off for the hotel. Now, where's your boss?

[Just as Charlie looks around and is about to walk away Angel tries to gently but firmly grab her by the hand and pulls her away, frightened.]

Angel Dust: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You are going nowhere near Val--

Valentino: Angel!

Valentino: What is the fucking hold up?

Angel Dust: I'm coming!

Valentino: Not off camera. You're not.

[Angel gently pushes Charlie back towards the door and opens it as she stands there.]

Angel Dust: [Panicked and talking fast.] Please, please, just wait, wait until I'm done working and we will talk about this, I promise. But first you've gotta go.

Valentino: [Appears behind Angel as he flinches.] Aaaah, Your Majesty.

Angel Dust: [Whisperes.] Oh, shit.

Valentino: [Walks over to them.] Welcome to my humble sex dungeon. [Pushes Angel behind him as I bends down and leans towards Charlie.] What can I do for such a-- [Takes Charlie's left hand and pulls up her suit sleeve as he lecherously licks and slurps Charlie's arm.]

Charlie: [Grossed out.] Ah, uh, no, thank you.

[Angel looks away disgusted.]

Valentino: Mm! Lovely specimen! You don't want a role, do you? Because I can make you a star, make us both richer than, well, your papito--

Charlie: [Backs away, shocked.) Fuck No! - Uh, I-I'm sorry. I have come to aggressively, kindly speak with you about Angel.

[Valentino stiffened slightly when she mentioned that, eyes narrowed and an eyebrow raised in suspicion as Angel waves his hands and gestures for her to stop from behind him.]

Charlie: Later, of course. I wouldn't want to stand in the way of your work.

[Valentino snaps his head to the side, peering over his shoulder and scowls at Angel as he grows more worried.]

Valentino: Well then, make yourself comfortable, Your Majesty, and enjoy the show. [Motions the film crew back to the shoot as he walks back to his chair and sits beside Travis.] Well, let's take this shit from the top.

Travis: [Laughs.] Action!

Angel Dust: Oh, wow, mister robbers. I sure hope you don't hurt me with those... Big guns of yours.

Robber: Don't move, you spicy little, uuh, cock sleeve or else I'll... [Pans to Charlie whispering to the cameraman about the hotel.]

[Charlie whispering.] ...We do trust exercises everyday in the morning...

Valentino shouts: Cut! What the fuck is going on with this?

Charlie: Ooh, I'm sorry, Were we too loud? I was just telling him about the Hazbin Hotel.

Valentino: [Fakes a smile.] Not at all, Princess. [Glares at Angel as he shrinks forward a bit, knowing this isn't good.] It doesn't bother me one bit.

Charlie: You know, this scene feels awfully violent. If you want help with the script, maybe I can pitch some scenarios that are more-- Woah!

[Charlie screams and trips over a cable and the electricity crackles.]

Charlie: Okay. Okay. Ah, ah okay, ''[She tries reaching to fix it but the cables and wires catch fire and begins to spread as she backs away from it. Angel and the four male actors are seen watching, eyes wide.]'' That's on fire. That-that, that's on fire.

Angel Dust: [The crew and actors scream and flee while Angel remains on the bed, backing up against the pillows, and eyes still wide.] Oh shit...

''[Everyone runs away screaming as the room burns down. Charlie tries to put out the fire to no avail. Valentino glares at Angel Dust menacingly, believing he's the cause of this mess.]''

Charlie: Oh, god. Okay uh do you have any--

[Charlie grabs and picks up the corner of furry carpet in attempt to put out the fire.]

[Valentino watches everything play out, eyes wide before he grits his teeth and stands up from his chair in annoyance.]

Charlie in the middle of the fire: Can I get a fire extinguisher? [Charlie takes off her suit jacket and begins swaying it up and down trying to put out the fire but still to no avail as the screams and running continue.] I am so sorry. I ruined your movie. I ruined your movie. [Angel watches everything as he sits on the bed still backed against the pillows blinking with a mortified expression as his pupils shrink when he sees Valentino's dark figure standing still in the midst of the fire, glaring at him.] Oh, my God. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm s-s-s-s-s-sorry! Noooooo!

''[Valentino growls and flaps his wings once and extinguishes the fire in an instant. Angel sits up and gets off of the bed quickly, reaching underneath, grabbing and putting on his robe.]''

Angel Dust: Oh, Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Charlie: [Still with suit jacket off.] Oh, my gosh, I am so, so, so, so sorry, I-- I can clean this up. I-- I can--

Valentino: [Walks up to Charlie and bends in front of her to her eye level.] Don't you worry your pretty blonde head about it. We have people for that. [Turns to Angel.] Angel, can I see you in your dressing room for a moment?

''[Angel runs off to Val, leaving a concerned Charlie. She reaches to stop him but doesn't. As Angel enters the dressing room worried and scared Valentino appears from behind the door, slamming it shut, approaching Angel menacingly as Angel turned around with his hands raised up in defense trying to immediately explain.]''

Angel Dust: Val, I didn't know that--

''[Before Angel can continue. Valentino grunts in annoyance as he slaps the back of his hand hard across the side of Angel's face, giving his right eye a black eye. He stumbles back in pain, holding the side of his face with his hand as he tries to speak again.]''

Angel Dust: Val, I--

[Angel grunts as Valentino grabs the collar part of his robe and holds him up close to his face extremely pissed off.]

Valentino: You really think you can have Lucifer's little bitch.

[He says at the same time as he throws Angel back, sending him colliding back against a chair as he shuffles around it anxiously and scared, gasping and panting out of breath.]

Fight your battles for you?

[Valentino finished and growled as he walked closed to Angel, who was still trying to explain and calm him down.]

Angel Dust: Val, please, I'm sorry... She's--

Valentino: You bring her here to protect you?

[Valentino asks as he reaches his left arm out to Angel with his hand open to touch or possibly grab his chest fluff as Angel backs himself away in the corner of the room in fear, grabbing his robe to try and cover his chest.]

To fuck with me?

''[Red cigar smoke circles around the back Angel's wrists like cuffs, binding them together. Valentino grabs Angel by the neck and forcefully drags him back before slamming and pinning him down to the couch, causing Angel to yell in pain.]''

Angel Dust: Ow! Val, stop!

Valentino: *teeth gnashed* You think she can get you out of work.

Angel Dust: No, no, that-that's not - *Val's hands touch Angel's chest fluff* - what I'm trying to do - no

[Valentino violently shoves Angel to the ground. ]

Valentino: You know she can't do anything.

[The smoke forms a chain around Angel's neck, lifting his head up to read his contract binding him to Valentino.]

Valentino: I own you, or have you forgotten that?

Angel Dust: *sniffles* No.

Valentino: When I say "come", you say-

Angel Dust: Yes, Valentino.

Valentino: When I say you're fucking 20 guys before lunch, you say-

Angel Dust: *voice deepens* Yes, Valentino.

Valentino: When I say you better get that fucking CUNT out of my studio, you say-

Angel Dust: Uh, I-

Valentino: You say...?

Angel Dust: Look, Val, she just gets involved in everything. I'll tell her to leave. Just don't hurt her-

Valentino: I have killed bitches for less than this attitude you're giving me! You're lucky you make me money! Now, you're going to go get rid of her, and then you are filming all night! Get me?!

Angel Dust: Yes Val.

Valentino: *smiles sickeningly* Good.

[Val violently drags Angel out of the dressing room, and back to the studio.]

Valentino: All right, get your asses back on set and we are taking this from the top!

[Charlie now furious, revealing her horns and glowing red eyes.]

Charlie: What makes you think you can treat him like that-

[Angel stands in between Charlie and Val's way.]

Angel Dust: Charlie, just stop!

Charlie: Angel, what are you talking-

Angel Dust: Charlie, leave!

Charlie: What, but-

Angel Dust: I didn't want you to come here, I already asked you to leave and you didn't listen! You made things worse!

Charlie: I just wanted to help you.

Angel Dust: Well, you ain't! You actually want to help me? Get the fuck out of here! Right now! And let me finish my work.

Charlie: I- I didn't *begins to cry* mean to *looks at the smug Valentino* I'm-I'm so sorry.

[Charlie leaves the studio in tears.]

Valentino: *laughs satisfied* Good boy.

[Cuts to Angel resuming his film.]

Valentino: And ... action.

[Angel Dust starts to film porn after porn, intertwined with him performing a pop-music dance sequence.]

Angel Dust: I'm not above a love to cash in

Another lover underneath those flashin' lights

Another one of those ruthless nights

[A bunch of actors appear to perform a gangbang.]

Yeah, yeah, yeah

[Angel pole-dances at the club in ADDICT.]

I shoulda' guessed that this would happen

I shoulda' known it when I looked in your red-hot eyes

[Angel on his knees prepared to give a blowjob to a fellow demon, while glancing at Valentino smiling.]

Spewin' all your red-hot lies

Yeah, yeah, yeah

What's the worst part of this hell?

I can only blame myself

[Cuts to Angel dancing with Valentino bound by smoke-chains.]

'Cause I know you're poison

You're feedin' me poison

Addicted to this feelin', I can't help but swallow

Up your poison

I made my choice, and

Every night I'm livin' like there's no tomorrow

[Shots alternate between Angel's sex with Valentino and him snorting drugs, lying in a bed of cash with two other demons.]

Oh-oh, oh-oh

Any way you want me, baby

That's the way you got me, I'll be yours

[Valentino's nightmarish silhouette appears in front of Angel in bed.]

My story's gonna end with me dead from your poison

[Cuts to a different porn scene as Angel gets fitted in BDSM gear.]

I got so good at bein' untrue

I got so good at tellin' you what you wanna hear

[Valentino takes Angel's cigarette and blows the smoke into his face.]

I disassociate, disappear

Yeah, yeah, yeah

So far beyond difficult to resist another gulp

[Cuts to Angel dancing a pop-MV choreography, with the BDSM scenes displayed on the LED screens.]

Yeah, I know it's poison

You're feedin' me poison

I'm chokin' from the taste and I can't help but swallow

Up your poison

I made my choice, and

''[Angel's blindfold comes undone, revealing his fear and pain, while Val sticks out his tongue aroused. The pop choreography continues with shots of the BDSM scene.]''

Every night I'm wasted like there's no tomorrow

Oh-oh, oh-oh

Any way you want me, baby

That's the way you got me, I'll be yours

My story's gonna end with me dead from your poison

''[Valentino drags Angel out of the pop stage. Angel snaps back to reality, exhausted and traumatized, runs out to the balcony to catch a breath.]''

Poison, I'm drownin' in poison

I'm fillin' up my glass but it's always hollow

Full of poison, I'm sick of the poison

Wish I had something to live for tomorrow.

[Ends with Angel collapsed on the balcony of the porn studio.] ''[Cuts to a worn out Angel Dust returning to the hotel. Charlie awkwardly waves at him but is ignored. Angel drops himself next to Husk's bar.]''

Angel Dust: I need a drink. The hardest you can make.

Husk: You look like shit.

Angel Dust:  * regains his cocky smile* Not possible. Just a long shoot. Nothing to - *gulps down the alcohol but spills it* Oh, I said a strong one.

Husk: Excuse me. Didn't realize this was a “drinking to forget” kind of night.

Angel Dust: Oh, I forgot that you're the wise old bartender who's seen it all. Get the fuck over yourself and pull me real drink.

Husk: Look, if you've got a problem, you're not going to find the solution at the bottom of a bottle. I should know, I've been looking there a long time.

Angel Dust: *flirtatious* Oh sure, and where should I Iook? Hm? In your bedroom maybe~? Under the covers? Maybe we can go look together -

Husk: Don't. Even start.

Angel Dust: Oh come on, I bet I can make those wings flap ~

Husk:  * pushes Angel off and breaks the wine bottle* STOP! - fucking Christ! You can cut the act already. It's never going to work on me, so all you're doing is making an ass out of yourself with this fake bullshit.

[Angel now agitated and filled with rage.]

Angel Dust: * shouts* Call me fake one more time, motherfucker. I dare you.

Husk: Fake.

Angel Dust: Fucking asshole - *bumps into the bar ceiling*

Husk: You're done?

Angel Dust: Ugh you know what? You would be fucking lucky to get a chance to fuck me. *throws a bottle at Husk but missed* You know how much I'm worth? You know how many people would kill to have Angel Dust come on to them? Fuck you. Have fun being a lonely piece of shit.

[Angel storms out of the hotel, pushing past Vaggie.]

Vaggie: Woah! The hell? Angel, where are you going?

Angel Dust: * offscreen* OUT!

Vaggie: Husk, what did you do?

Husk: * deadpan* Made him a drink.

Charlie: * worried* Oh, no. he looks really upset.

Husk: * waves off* It's just Angel. He'll be fine.

Charlie: I'm not so sure. I really messed up at the studio today and he got - ugh - it was, it wasn't good, OK?

[Vaggie tucks Charlie's hair behind her ears to comfort her, then turns to Husk.]

Vaggie: Gee, sounds like someone should go after him.

[Husk just stares blankly.].

Vaggie: Someone named Husk.

Husk: Oh you gotta be fucking kidding me. Why don't you go if you're so worried?

Vaggie: Because I'm not the one who sent him storming out. You caused it, you drag him back.

Charlie: No, no. Don't force him back. Just make sure he's safe. I pushed too hard earlier and I only made things worse. Look, he'll come back when he's ready. I just don't want anything to happen to him until then.

[Husk grumbles.]

Charlie: Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go write 100 apology letters and a lesson planned for tomorrow about ~boundaries~. ''[Cuts to Angel entering a bar. Husk follows behind]''

[Angel sits at the bar with a gang of shark demons, snorting drugs and laughing with them.]

Angel Dust: *high* HAHA, I'm so fucked up!

[Husk sits at the bar counter and orders a drink.]

Husk: Gimmee a whiskey. *bartender pours a glass* I meant the whole bottle, jackass. *chucks down the bottle*

Angel Dust: Haha, ya ya so I said "You couldn't afford me in a million afterlives." I got better options, right boys?

 * to one demon* Hey baby, be a doll and bring me another one? Daddy's outta juice.

''[The demon takes the drink and puts some love potion inside. Husk glares in disgust.]''

Demon: Here you go darling. Just for you -

[Husk grabs him by the neck.]

Husk: Nice try fuckhead.

''[Husk throws the demon across the room. The rest of the gangsters take out their guns.]''

Husk: Let's go *throws a stack of cards at the demons and trapping them in a net*

Angel Dust: What the?- hey! - H-hey, hey -

[Husk drags Angel out of the bar.]

Angel Dust: Husk! What the actual fuck are you doing here? Let GO of me -

Husk: No. I'm taking you back to the hotel.

Angel Dust: Get off!

Husk: That fucker put something in your drink.

Angel Dust: You don't think I can tell if someone spikes my drink? I do this all the fucking time!

Husk: You just let people drug you all the time?

Angel Dust: You think I asked for it? I don't ask for any of this shit! I didn't ask to be this way. I didn't ask for Charlie to save me, I didn't ask for you to save me. I can handle myself.

Husk: Really? Because I just saw someone self-destructing. It seems like, I don't know, you might need a bartender to talk to.

Angel Dust: * chuckles* Now you're gonna act like you give a shit about me? You think after how you treated me, I'm gonna open up to you? Please. *walks off*

Husk: Maybe I'd treat you better if you were real, and not some bullshit version of yourself, always pushing my boundaries. Lemme tell ya, nobody in that hotel cares who you are. How famous, how hot, so you might as well just, cut the act.

[Angel bursts into tears.]

Angel Dust: It's not an act! It's who I need to be. And this *gestures to the redlight street* this is my escape, where I can forget about it all, and how much I hate - everything. A place where I can get high, and not have to think about how much it hurts. And maybe, if I can ruin myself enough in the process, if I end up broken, I won't be his favorite toy anymore. And maybe he'll let me go...

[Husk stares at Angel with sympathy and pity, then sits down the pavement near him.]

Husk: * sighs* I was an Overlord once, you know. *Angel perks up* Yeah, and uh, it was nice to have that power. But when you're dealing in souls *flashback to the past Husk gambling* while also being a gambler, *past Husk spreads out a deck of cards* the stakes are pretty high, losing a few hands can be more than a little dangerous *Husk begins losing the gamble*. So when you're down on your luck, you turn to anything *card shows Alastor's figure* to keep you afloat, even making deals with yourself *Alastor now appears holding the cards, looming over Husk to pick the card.*

[Scene switches back to the forlorn present Husk.]

Husk: So I know what it's like to regret the choices made..., and know when you can't take it back.

''[Angel and Husk sits in silence for a moment. Then Husk begins to sing.]''

Husk: So things look bad, and your back's against the wall

Your whole existence seems fuckin' hopeless

You're feelin' filthy as a dive bar bathroom stall

Can't face the world sober and dopeless

You've lost your way, you think your life is wrecked

Well, let me just say you're correct

Angel Dust: Wait, what?

Husk: You're a loser, baby

A loser, goddamn baby

You're a fucked up little whiny bitch

Angel Dust: Hey!

Husk: You're a loser, just like me

Angel Dust: Thanks, asshole.

Husk: You're a screw's-loose-boozer

An only one-star reviews-er

You're a power-bottom at rock bottom

But you got company

Angel Dust: This supposed to make me feel better?

Husk: There was a time I thought no one could relate

To the gruesome ways in which I'm damaged

But lettin' walls down, it can sometimes set you straight!

We're all livin' in the same shit-sandwich

Angel Dust: I sold my soul to a psychopathic freak

Husk: Haha! And you think that makes you unique?

Get outta here, man!

We're both losers, baby

We're losers, it's okay to be a--

Angel Dust: Coked up, dick-suckin' hoe?

Husk: Baby, that's fine by me

Angel Dust: I'm a loser, honey

A schmoozer and a dummy

But at least I know I'm not alone

Husk: You're a loser

Both: Just like me

Husk: I got an appetite for gamblin'

Angel Dust: I got an appetite for samplin' every drug and sex toy I can find

Husk: Go ahead baby, sing that song, come on!

Angel Dust: I got no holes left to deflower

Husk: I sold my soul to save my power

Now I'm on that demon's leash

Both: I'm trapped and it gets worse with every hour

Angel Dust: You're a loser, baby

Husk: A loser, but just maybe if we

Both: Eat shit together, things will end up differently

Husk: It's time to lose your self-loathin'

Excuse yourself, let hope in, baby

Play your card, be who you are

Both: A loser, just like—

[The shark demons interrupt and furiously fire at Angel and Husk.]

Demon: There he is! They're fucking singing?! Get 'em!

Husk: Oh shit! Stay down. I'll deal with this.

Demon: Hehe, you're fucking dead -

[Husk kills each goon with relative ease using his cards, but had trouble with one goon, until Angel also swipes out firearms and obliterates the demon.]

Angel Dust: Eat lead, sucker. *lends a hand to Husk* I told ya. I can handle myself baby.

[Angel continues firing his guns and Husk his cards until the shark demons are reduced to blood and guts.]

Shark demon: This did not go as planned - *dies*

Husk: Well, that was something I didn't expect to see.

Angel Dust: Like I said, you don't know me. Sex ain't the only thing I'm good at.

Husk: Good to know, cause this guy ain't that bad.

[Angel smiles, and the two walk out of the street.] [Angel and Husk return to hotel laughing together.]

Angel Dust: He had like 3 bills, and it took him 30 minutes to count them. His eyes are so shit.

Husk: Hehe, and this is the guy you got to take all his problems?

Angel Dust: I know, what a fucking joke, right?

[Charlie rushes to Angel in relief.]

Charlie: I'm so sorry Angel, I promise I won't ever, ever, ever, ever-

Angel Dust: Charlie, it's fine. I get it. Thanks for caring about me.

''[Charlie weeps tears of joy. Angel picks her up and gives her to Vaggie.]''

Angel Dust: Ehh I think this is yours.

Vaggie: Ok missy, let's get you to bed.

Charlie:  * still blubbering* He-he-he said he - for-forgave me. *inaudible cries*

Husk: Hey, how about that drink?

Angel Dust: You read my mind.

''[Episode ends with Angel and Husk heading for a drink. Cue outro.]''