The Pilot

"May I speak now?"
―Alastor, after being interrupted twice
"Excuse my sudden visit, but I saw your fiasco on the picture show and I just couldn't resist. What a performance! Why, I haven't been that entertained since the stock market crash of 1929, hahaha... So many orphans."
―Alastor, regarding Charlie's performance
"Dear, if I wanted to hurt anyone here, (voice becomes distorted) I would have done so already!"
―Alastor, to Vaggie
"Hahaha! Why does anyone do anything? Sheer, absolute boredom!"
―Alastor, to Charlie and Vaggie
"Consider it an investment in ongoing entertainment for myself! I want to watch the scum of the world struggle to climb up the hill of betterment! Only to repeatedly trip, and tumble down to the fiery pit of failure."
―Alastor, explaining why he wants to help
"Hahaha! It's the purest kind, my dear. Reality! True passion! After all, the world is a stage. And a stage is a world of entertainment."
―Alastor, about Charlie's fight with Killjoy
"Smile, my dear! You know, you're never fully dressed without one!"
―Alastor, seeing Vaggie frown
"Hah! No."
―Alastor, denying Angel's offer of a blowjob
"Do I know you?"
―Alastor, after Sir Pentious' claim of a previous encounter
"Well, I'm starved! Who wants some Jambalaya?"
―Alastor, after defeating Sir Pentious
"My mother once showed me a wonderful recipe for Jambalaya, in fact, it nearly killed her! Hahaha! You could say the kick was right out of hell! Oh ho ho, I'm on a roll! Yes sir, this is the start of some real changes down here! The game is set!"
―Alastor to everyone, after defeating Sir Pentious
"Now... stay tuned."
―Alastor's last line in the Pilot
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