The Pilot

"Yeah, yeah, listen, keep this discreet ya hear me? I can't let it get out I'm offerin' my services to randos in the street! It was a quick cash grab... Ya got it?"
―Angel, to Travis
"Ouch! Ooh! Such an insult! Let me know when you come up with something creative to call me, you sack of poorly packaged horse shit!"
―Angel creatively insulting Travis
"OH MY GOD! My drugs! Damn it!"
―Angel, after his drugs get destroyed by a boulder
"You kiddin'? This is the best action I've seen in ages!"
―Angel, to Cherri Bomb
"Oh I wish! I've been staying at this crappy hotel on the other side of town, some broads are letting me stay rent free if I play nice. You know, no fights, no pranks, no problematic language, her words not mine. Ugh, these crazy bitches are no fun, I've been clean for two weeks."
―Angel, about the Happy Hotel
"Well, sorta clean."
―Angel
"Oh~! harder, daddy!"
―Angel, jokingly to Sir Pentious
"Would that make your hat the top and YOU the bottom?"
―Angel, making fun of Sir Pentious' hat
"Hm, kinky!"
―Angel, to Sir Pentious
"I've been making these sex jokes the whole time, and it's obvious you ain't catching on. I mean, it's just sad!"
―Angel, to Sir Pentious
"Isn't that a "redeeming quality"? Helping friends with stuff?"
―Angel, to Vaggie about redeem quality
"Eh, you win some, you lose a few hundred. Ahahaha!"
―Angel
"No, no, babe. Jokes are funny! I made you look...er...sad, and pathetic! Like an orphan... with no arms... or legs... Oh! With progeria! "
―Angel, to Vaggie and Charlie
"Great! Now I'm bummed out thinking about it!"
―Angel
"This thing have any liquor?"
―Angel, looking for booze in the limousine
"Just don't get your taco in a twist, baby."
―Angel, to Vaggie
"Whatever pisses you off more."
―Angel when Vaggie asks him if he's being sexist or racist
"Wait, would that make me double dead? And where exactly would I go, to double-hell? Haha, sorry, you're stuck with me, bitch. Get used to it."
―Angel, to Vaggie
"This body is flawless! Everyone wants summa me, and I've got the creepy fan letters to prove it!"
―Angel, about himself
"Eh, not big on politics."
―Angel, about Alastor
"Pfft, he looks like a strawberry pimp!"
―Angel, about Alastor
"To be fair, do you trust any man? Any men? Men?"
―Angel, about Vaggie
"I can suck ya dick!"
―Angel offering his services
"SHUT UP! SHUT! UP! We are keeping this!"
―Angel, about the bar
"Only if you watch me"
―Angel when Husk tells him to go fuck himself


The Prequel Comic

"Who ya callin' a "filly", busta'? I'm more man you could ever be, baby."
―Angel, to the mob boss
"So lemme get this straight. I show up with Val's money to pay, and you chickenshits pull the tough gangster routine on me, just like that? Why, to look cool? You don't look cool, you look sad."
―Angel, to the drug cartel
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