Fizzarolli/Quotes

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This is a transcribed copy of iconic quotes by Fizzarolli. Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the respective episodes.

Season 1

"Truth Seekers"

"You tried the solo act, it didn't work out so well! Muwahahahaha!"

―Hallucination Fizzarolli, to Blitzo

"Ozzie's"

"Ladies and gentlemen! I see some sexy faces around here tonight! Welcome, welcome, to Ozzie's: Lust ring's number 1 place for all kinds of sick twisted fantasies. Put on display for all you 'Sleaze' and 'Sleazettes'. The gin joint of Asmodeus himself! C'mon, give him some LOVE!"

―Fizzarolli, to the audience

"I'm the one and only Fizzarolli. Some of you might recognize this dashing clown face from my numerous toy-botic replicas across the rings of Hell. Gloriously designed by the big man himself, and uh... ribbed for your pleasure tonight. We have a great lineup for you tonight, Verosika Mayday, Wet Dream, and The Squirterz!"

―Fizzarolli, to the audience

"But, as everyone's warming up, I got a funny one for y'all: Did any of you hear about the bat-shittery that happened at Loo Loo Land? Ha ha ha! Oh, yeah Oh, wow. I'll tell you what: I'd sure love to shake the hand of the crazy son of a bitch who decided to burn down that off brand shithole and then slap a fat subpoena in it, 'cause I am VERY MUCH looking to sue! That robo-me made us more money entertaining those kids than the ones we sell to get you freaks off, if you know what I mean."

―Fizzarolli, wanting to sue the people responsible for the destruction of Loo Loo Land

"Okay, keep that guy far away from me."

―Fizzarolli, unsettled at an obsessive fanboy

"Trumpet. HAH!"

―Fizzarolli, mimicking a trumpet during Asmodeus' musical number

Season 2

"The Circus"

"Hey, everybody! Look at this! it's Banana Pudding the clown horsey!"

―Young Fizzarolli, presenting the balloon horse to the crowd

"If you keep talking about pirates, I will punch you."

―Young Fizzarolli, to Blitzo

"Oh, no! Eww, no blood! Blood is disgusting."

―Young Fizzarolli, to Blitzo

"Well, Banana Pudding is here to save the day with his magical feet he dances around with. He will dance all over worm horse and make him feel better."

―Young Fizzarolli, playing with Blitzo

"Oops"

"Rise and shine, Ozzie! Huehahahahaha!"

―Fizzarolli, waking up Asmodeus

"Don't blame me, blame how fuckin' fun they are!"

―Fizzarolli, to Asmodeus, about the airhorn

"Burger time! Burger time! Burger time!"

―Fizzarolli, chanting for burgers

"Come onnnn, Ozz. I can be on my own one day!"

―Fizzarolli, to Asmodeus about going out by himself

"Ah! I can handle it! Come on, Big Daddy. Pweeeaasee?"

―Fizzarolli, to Asmodeus, giving a baby doll eyes

"Ya mind? Trying to have an un-emotional bang sesh here!"

―Fizzarolli, when he and Asmodeus get interrupted by the work assistant

"Yeah! Love. Is. STUPID!"

―Fizzarolli, agreeing with Asmodeus about the two of them not being in love

"Man, it's great not being in the spotlight for once!"

―Fizzarolli, during his walk with his Quieves

"Oh wow! Lookie who it is."

―Fizzarolli, after bumping into Blitzo again

"Yeah well, guess that's what resilience and talent gets ya. Plus, my horns were always bigger than yours. Weren't they?"

―Fizzarolli, to Blitzo

"For the record, we are NOT friends."

―Fizzarolli, about him and Blitzo not being friends when they got captured by Striker and Crimson's mafia

"Sure, but not by a bunch of psychos! And a piece of shit!"

―Fizzarolli, to Blitzo

"Ohh, playin' that card, huh? Okay, what about you? Seems your tastes have gotten more… regal, lately. Heheh…"

―Fizzarolli, to Blitzo

"You could've fooled me the way Princey was cozying up to you at Ozzie's."

―Fizzarolli, to Blitzo, about Stolas

"Sound like you just hate him for being a prince. Because no one, and I mean no one pretends to care that much just for a cheap lay."

―Fizzarolli, to Blitzo

"That's not- …always true… But I guess you're right. They can't all be the same if some have taste, and some wanna fuck you."

―Fizzarolli, to Blitzo

"You brought it up, asshole!"

―Fizzarolli, to Blitzo

"Neither of you filth bags know what you're talkin' about. If you think you're superior to ANYONE, then you're no better than any royal--"

―Fizzarolli, before Striker angrily interrupts him

"Eaugh! Ever heard of mouthwash?! FUCK FAAAACCCEEEE!"

―Fizzarolli, to Striker

"Hmm…Ya know? Last time I checked, I was a FUCKING JESTER, not an escape artist!"

―Fizzarolli, when crashing his face at the top of the cage

"I just wanna go home…"

―Fizzarolli, to Blitzo

"You had a knife this whole time?!"

―Fizzarolli, to Blitzo, about his hidden knife

"I'm a performer! I sing, I dance, I promote products that I don't actually use. I DON'T do danger!"

―Fizzarolli, to Blitzo when fighting against Crimson's goons

"I'd give you a comeback, but that'd imply I give a shit what you think."

―Fizzarolli, to Blitzo

"Ohoho, after what you DID to me?"

―Fizzarolli, to Blitzo

"An accident? Are you kidding me? You always had it out for me, 'cus people liked me better. You wanted me gone because you were jealous - just wanting the spotlight. I looked up to you, I thought you were my best friend! You ruined my life! And, then you just left me… I lost so much because of you. And, you selfish piece of shit, you didn't even care!"

―Fizzarolli, to Blitzo, about the incident

"Glad you could admit it. Want a medal?"

―Fizzarolli, to Blitzo

"So. Why didn't you try to tell me any of this? Or come see me??? Even once would've been fine!"

―Fizzarolli, to Blitzo

"I never told them that."

―Fizzarolli, when Blitzo is told that Fizzarolli didn't want to see him

"No! And no one told me you came!"

―Fizzarolli, to Blitzo before realizing the misunderstanding

"TRYING TO HAVE A FUCKIN' EMOTIONAL MOMENT HERE!"

―Fizzarolli, after Blitzo shot down one of Crimson's goons

"Look! Misunderstanding or no. It's hard to just forgive you. It's BEEN fifteen years and…That's so much time…But…I guess you didn't really ruin my life."

―Fizzarolli, to Blitzo

"It was painful... and challenging, and you know, FUCK YOU, STILL. But…It's not like I'm broken. And I now have someone who understands me and... My life has actually been pretty great."

―Fizzarolli, to Blitzo

"Oh yeah, it's been…fantastic…Uh, cuz you know, it's a great gig! And…and…And he's got the BIGGEST COCK! You know? Like MASSIVE! I mean imagine like…THE BIGGEST, JUST A GIANT, HUGE LIKE A KAIJU. But it's a COCK, you know what I mean? LIKE A BIG MONSTER. It's BIG, it's HUGE..."

―Fizzarolli, to Blitzo, about Asmodeus

"You're still on the horse thing?!"

―Fizzarolli, to Blitzo, about his horse obsession

"Ohhohooo! One distraction, comin' up!"

―Fizzarolli, to Blitzo

"You know, you're actually pretty good at this action-hero bullshit."

―Fizzarolli, to Blitzo after making an escape

"Ok... Is it bad that I'm getting hard?"

―Fizzarolli, when being held hostage by Striker

"YOU BLEW ME UP AGAIN, YOU FUCKIN' PRICK!"

―Fizzarolli, after Blitzo saves his life

"Ozz... You know there's eyes around..."

―Fizzarolli, to Asmodeus, when the employees notice them together

"Well, don't worry. Today I learn that I hate going outside!"

―Fizzarolli, to Asmodeus

"Soooo... besides my whole scary hostage thing, how was your day?"

―Fizzarolli, asking Asmodeus about his day

"Meh…Fuck it…Let him have it."

―Fizzarolli, to Asmodeus

"Yeah, why not? You could say…He earned it"

―Fizzarolli, to Asmodeus, about giving Blitzo the Asmodean Crystal

"Now, I don't know about you, but having a violent brush with crime has given me a whole mess of new kinks! You wanna go... "make a mess?""

―Fizzarolli, to Asmodeus

"MAMMON'S MAGNIFICENT MUSICAL MID-SEASON SPECIAL (ft Fizzarolli)"

"I have to win that pageant someday. Can you imagine how amazing it would be to get to work with him?"

―Teenage Fizzarolli, hoping to win the clown pageant in the near future

"It's not about that! It's getting to work with my idol. I just love that he's giving someone new the chance to be in the spotlight! He's an inspiration."

―Teenage Fizzarolli, happy to be given the opportunity to participate in the clown pageant

"So worth it!"

―Teenage Fizzarolli, hyped

"Blitzo, do you think I could win if I worked really hard? I think…"

―Teenage Fizzarolli, questioning the possibilities of him winning the clown pageant

"Oh- hey there. Thank you, I appreciate that."

―Teenage Fizzarolli, receiving Arick's complient

"What if my acts are trash? What if I'm never good enough?"

―Teenage Fizzarolli, worried about his performance should he compete in the clown pageant

"But I have to be perfect."

―Teenage Fizzarolli, explaining the qualities of participating in the clown pageant

"I'll just have to keep practicing, and someday, maybe, I'll be good enough for M-"

―Teenage Fizzarolli, hoping to qualify for Mammon's clown pageant

"Oh fuck, Mammon is gonna notice that. Ozzie! Where did my foundation go?!"

―Fizzarolli, looking for foundation

"I wanna make Mammon proud, okay? He's- really passionate about the craft of clown. He expects perfection, so I- I gotta be perfect."

―Fizzarolli, informing that he wants to make Mammon proud

"I had to fend of creeps before the robots, I just have thirstier ones, now. Besides, I just- have to do this!"

―Fizzarolli, informing that he needs to participate in the clown pageant

"I just don't think about it, a toy is a toy! Look, Ozz, I'm fine. Working for Mammon is a big deal to me. He's been my idol since I was five, I can't just- not compete! I'd be letting him down! Th-the fans down!"

―Fizzarolli, worried about letting Mammon down

"I know, Ozz. But this- i-is for me. I don't wanna lose."

―Fizzarolli, fearing he'll lose the clown pageant

"Can you remind me why you're here, again?"

―Fizzarolli, demanding to know why Blitzo is a bodyguard

"He'd be the next best thing?"

―Fizzarolli, confused about Blitzo being the next best thing

"Mmm-hmm. L'il sus, babe."

―Fizzarolli, to Asmodeus

"You mean besides you?"

―Fizzarolli, questioning Blitzo's comparison to gold old times

"You know it, Mammon sir."

―Fizzarolli, about to address Mammon

"Oh- right, sir. Of course! I'll work on that."

―Fizzarolli, after being informed that his merchandise is primarily enjoyed by skinny imps

"Haha- ha- ignore him, sir. He's uh- he's like this all the time. He thinks he's funny."

―Fizzarolli, telling Mammon to ignore Blitzo

"Look Blitzo, I don't know why Ozz brought you here, but can you at least not talk back to my boss?! I need this gig!"

―Fizzarolli, frustrated

"I just need it, okay?! Smile inside and out."

―Fizzarolli, being vocal about his participation in the clown pageant

"Oh, pfft. Well, I don't wanna assume, but, as always, I have an act that's without a doubt gonna"

―Fizzarolli, doubting his chances of winning the clown pageant

"Oooh, fun. You gals gonna be competing as well? That's really nice."

―Fizzarolli, to Glitz and Glam

"Wow, what attractive attitudes you got."

―Fizzarolli, complimenting Glitz and Glam's attitude

"Oh, well. I look forward to seeing what you do, and may the best clown w-"

―Fizzarolli, to Glitz and Glam

"Hey Mammon, uh- I may not be uh- i-in the right headspace to interact with the fans right now. Is it okay if I maybe skip the whole thing?"

―Fizzarolli, considering pulling out of the clown pageant

"I just really don't think that I'm really--"

―Fizzarolli, doubting he'll win the clown pageant

"Uhhh…I mean, no, not really, actually."

―Fizzarolli, not happy with Mammon's suggestion

"Okay, sir."

―Fizzarolli, about to obey Mammon

"It's just how he is."

―Fizzarolli, telling Blitzo about Mammon's personality

"Ugh, it's fine."

―Fizzarolli, needing some downtime

"Heya folks, where ya from? Oh Lust, love it there, obviously. Wet dreamsville, hah! Best pharmacies in Hell! Ragesburg well, nice to meet cha, partner. Ha ha, I don't do accents. Fun! Ah, nice to meet you, too! Thank you so much for coming to the show."

―Fizzarolli, greeting fans

"Come on over here."

―Fizzarolli, communicating in sign language with a deaf fan

"You can do anything you want to do."

―Fizzarolli, continuing sign language

"I hope you're excited for the biiig finale!"

―Fizzarolli, hoping his fans look forward to the finale of the clown pageant

"Uh- wh- c-come again?"

―Fizzarolli, seeing his now anti-fan Burnie Burnz

"Hah, well, anyway folks, heh--"

―Fizzarolli, about to warn fans against Burnie

"I uh- uh- uuuh-"

―Fizzarolli, struggling to responding to Burnie's defiant remarks

"Yeah- yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I'm- I'm fine, yeah, heh."

―Fizzarolli, not okay

"I do Blitzo, I do."

―Fizzarolli, informing that he has to continue with performing in the clown pageant

"This job is! Without it I'll lose-"

―Fizzarolli, worrying about his fate in the clown pageant

"No, he's not! He's just trying to make me good enough."

―Fizzarolli, about Mammon

"O-Okay, Fizz. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. It's okay, it's fine. You have a show to do soon, it's fine."

―Fizzarolli, reminding himself to perform as planned

"Oh- oh no, oh- no, no, no, no. No, no-"

―Fizzarolli, horrified by his appearance

"It's okay, you're fine. You need to be fine."

―Fizzarolli, continuing to remind himself to go on with participating in the clown paegant

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?? You shouldn't be here, Asmodeus. I'm fine, please!"

―Fizzarolli, to Asmodeus

"I'm fine! I'm fine! Just needed a minute!"

―Fizzarolli, needing alone time

"Ozz, I'm about to go on for the finale, I need some time to mentally prepare."

―Fizzarolli, needing time to prepare for the finale

"Ozz, I have to do this. This could be my last chance to prove that I'm still good at this. That it's not over! That I'm still good enough! It's not just Mammon. I'm fine. I just…need to be better."

―Fizzarolli, to Asmodeus

"But everything I have is because of Mammon. I have this life. I have security. I have you. Without Mammon I wouldn't be…I wouldn't have…I just…I have to win this."

―Fizzarolli, to Asmodeus

"I don't want to lose. Because I feel like if I lose this, I lose you."

―Fizzarolli, worried about losing the clown pageant's finale

"You're with me because of who I am at my best! I'm barely worthy of working with a King of Sin cuz' THIS IS WHO I AM! Without all this, I'm just nothing, and Mammon made me this. I owe it all to him."

―Fizzarolli, to Asmodeus

"It's…It's hard, you know? To t-trust that. I…I just…I love you so much, Ozzie."

―Fizzarolli, to Asmodeus

"Well, I kinda spent my whole warmup having a panic attack, haha."

―Fizzarolli, worried

"Ribbit."

―Fizzarolli, imitating a frog

"Thank you all so much. You know, it's always been one of the greatest thrills of my life performing. And I'm so glad to bring you all one last show."

―Fizzarolli, about to announce his retirement from performing

"Thank you."

―Fizzarolli, signing "thank you" to the deaf imp from earlier

"Cuz' now…I quit!"

―Fizzarolli, announcing his decision to quit working for Mammon

"I mean, I quit. I'm done. G'day, mate!"

―Fizzarolli, confronting Mammon