This is a transcribed copy of "Mastermind". Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode
[The episode opens with the view of Andrealphus' mansion, then cuts to the tea being poured by an imp butler. Andrealphus picks up the cup of tea and sips.]
Andrealphus: Hmm. You seem in good spirits today.
[The imp butler serves Stella another cup of tea as Stella looks at her make-up compact.]
Stella: Oh yes! (closes her make-up compact and puts it down on the table.) Stolas has had his heart shat on by that little imp cretin he was seeing! *giggles*
Andrealphus: Oh?
Stella: Yes, I believe he finally learnt that that filthy little beast was only using him to gain access to his grimoire.
[Andrealphus suddenly reacts to Stella's mention of Blitzo using the grimoire while Stella cackles.]
Stella: Fucking moron!
[Andrealphus was so shocked, he ends up giving a spit-take, freezing the imp butler in a block of ice. Andrealphus coughs.]
Andrealphus: Gain- Gain access to *coughs* to his what?
Stella: That fancy book thing.
Andrealphus: D-D-N-No, wait, wait, wait, wait! Stolas was letting an imp use his Goetia-given grimoire, and you didn't tell me?
Stella: Why do you care?
Andrealphus: Because! We have been trying to figure out a means to usurp your horny ex-husband's power.
[The room starts to get frozen due to Andrealphus' increasing anger.]
Andrealphus: And this whole time, you knew about incredibly illegal thing he was doing and you didn't think it might be a good idea to LET ME KNOW?!
Stella: WELL, DON'T YELL AT ME!
[Stella sits back down and takes another sip on her tea. She takes a glance at her brother.]
Stella: Now you fucking know.
Andrealphus: You... are... so lucky you are hot, Stella.
[Andrealphus gets off the table and walks away. As Stella watches her brother walk away, she continues drinking while the imp butler is still frozen, slowly sliding on the now ice frozen floor.]
[The scene cuts to the I.M.P Headquarters where, in the Blitzo's office, he is interviewing four potential employees. He is squeezing a stress toy that resembles Moxxie before facing the demons.]
Blitzo: So the four of you aaare... Remind me again?
Adorable Intern: We're interns, sir! We're looking for cool businesses to work for.
[The intern hands over Blitzo a poorly made resume, but he cannot hire anyone for the time being due to their near bankruptcy in the previous episode. He takes the resume and crushes it before throwing the paper away.]
Blitzo: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know what interns are, I'm not an idiot, okay? But I can't really afford new employees at the moment.
[Beneath his desk, Blitzo slowly laces his finger to a call button to have one of his coworkers kick the interns out.]
Adorable Intern: Oh, interns work for experience, sir.
[Blitzo paused.]
Blitzo: Come again?
Adorable Intern: Experience!
Blitzo: Ohh, you mean for free.
Adorable Intern: Experience?
Blitzo: Well, I can't argue with free kiddo, you're hired!
[Blitzo happily accepts the imp interns and shakes his hand when Moxxie barged right in with urgency in his face.]
Moxxie: Sir! You need to see this.
[Before Blitzo could respond, everyone hears a loud shout from the outside.]
Yelling Guard: COME OUT! WE'VE GOT YOU SURROUNDED!
[Blitzo and Moxxie comes over to the window and check it out. Their eyes widened when they see something in the air.]
[In the sky, a swirling vortex of lightning clouds forms a large black hole with a menacing whoosh. An eye appears in the hole before a horde of demons called Reapers pour out of the black hole. A Reaper then takes out one of the scrolls to read the contents. Behind the Reaper, cloud forms behind to reveal the pictures of the demons of I.M.P: Loona, Millie, Moxxie, and Blitzo. Red letters indicate "Yes, you!" appear on the picture.]
Yelling Guard #2: Employees of the illegal business I.M.P. You are...*banner appears to say "Under Arrested"* Hereby arrested for breaking demon law, surrender yourselves!
Yelling Guard: YOU GUYS ARE IN DEEP SHIT!
[Blitzo and Moxxie looked extremely petrified at their pictures being posted. Deeply terrified, the demons retreat from the window and hide behind the wall.]
Moxxie: Blitzo, what are we gonna do?
[Blitzo was unable to respond, frozen in fear. He looked between Moxxie and the Reapers outside repeatedly.]
Yelling Guard #2: YOU CAN'T ESCAPE!
[Blitzo snaps in terror and grabs Moxxie's face closer to his own.]
Blitzo: QUICK! HIDE EVERYTHING!
[With that, Blitzo shoves past Moxxie and smacks the office door open. He jumps on Loona's desk, and takes over the computer, much to Loona's annoyance. Loona was busy playing a online poker game before Blitzo moves the mouse over to the browing search history. He repeatedly clicks on the mouse to make the loading go fast. Just when the computer was almost done, the screen crashed, making it stop.]
[Suddenly, the computer was sliced in half, with electricity sparking everywhere by Millie who used her axe to chop the computer down. Blitzo and Millie high-five each other before running away to get rid of everything.]
[Confused, Loona takes out one of her earphones and notices Moxxie carrying stacks of paper above his head. He falls, spilling everything on the floor. Moxxie frantically grabs everything as much as he can, tears spilling from his eyes.]
Yelling Guard #3: Come out with your hands up! We are going to beat you!
Loona: What?!
Yelling Guard #3: But only a little!
Loona: FUUUUCK!!!
[Now realizing that they're caught, Loona opens her drawer full of papers that have everything they do in their workplace, a client's list, and a bottle of whiskey. She opens the bottle and douses everything in the drawer.]
Yelling Guard #3: There's no where to run you little red shits!
[Before Loona could use her lighter, she hesitates upon seeing the photo of everyone accomplishing their first job. Loona groans and takes the photo into her shirt. She tries to ignite the lighter, but it won't light up. Loona pants in fear as she tries to ignite her lighter.]
Loona: Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
[As Loona slams her lighter, the scene cuts into the office bathroom stalls. Millie kicks the stall open with a garbage bag. She dumps all their disguises they used to do their jobs on Earth. She shoves all the disguises into the toilet, but it won't flush.]
Yelling Guard #3: We are going to beat you! But- but only a little.
[When the disguises didn't go in, Millie uses the butt of her sniper rifle as a plunger to shove all of it deeper into the toilet. Water squirts at Millie before she flushes it.]
Yelling Guard #3: May- maybe a lot.
[Millie looked satisfied with her work, but then, the toilet becomes clogged, and water leaks out of the stall, much to her disgust.]
Yelling Guard #3: Just come out!
[Back to Loona, she was still having trouble with her lighter, and Blitzo comes over to know what is wrong, gesturing her to hurry it up as Loona furiously tries to start her lighter.]
Loona: I'M TRYING I'M FUCKING TRYING!
[Blitzo takes the lighter from Loona and throws it into the drawer. The lighter sparks, causing fire to spew up with smoke billowing up. Loona and Blitzo gives each other thumbs-up.]
[In the kitchen, Moxxie has stacks of paper ready with a shredder. He takes a bunch and attempts to shred them all, but it was too much to fit into the shredder. He panics and tries to get the papers out, but they are stuck, forcing him to fall just as Blitzo comes into the kitchen and opens the fridge to clear out everything. Moxxie recovers and tries to shove the papers inside, but they wouldn't budge. Moxxie screeches in panic.]
Moxxie: The shredder is jammed!!!
[Blitzo drops everything and hurries over to Moxxie. He grabs him and shoves the paper into his mouth.]
Blitzo: Then figure it out, Moxxie!!
Yelling Guard #3: Come out with your hands up!
[Running out of time, Blitzo grabs Moxxie and carries him out of the kitchen. The gang exits out of the burning office and heads for the nearest window. Blitzo hands Moxxie over to Millie, and tries to pry the window open. Lightning clouds form in front of them, crackling. The camera shows intense fear written in their faces as they saw something incoming.]
[They duck and an eye-smoke bomb crashes into the window, releasing smoke. Blitzo recovers and smacks the window with his fist wider. The gang coughs.]
Blitzo: [Choked] C'mon guys. *coughing*
Moxxie: Blitzo, they will see us!
Blitzo: Well, we can either run, or we can face the music.
[The gang looks at the window with uncertainty of their lives.]
[The scene switches to the entrance covered in heavy smoke with the Reapers waiting for them at the front. Lighting strikes behind them. One of the Reapers checks its watch before focusing back to the building. A silhouette of the gang appears in the smoke, and the Reapers spring into action. They fly over and one of the Reapers takes out a rope, throwing it into the smoke to catch the gang.]
[The Reaper then pulls the rope, revealing not the I.M.P., but the four interns who looked like the gang from the smoke.]
Adorable Intern: Is this part of the job?
[Realizing they've been duped, the Reapers turn around in silent anger.]
[The gang managed to escape the Reapers and into the parking lot where they can use their van to flee. Blitzo was seen carrying Loona in his hands.]
Blitzo: Get. In. The. Van.
[The gang enters the van.]
Blitzo: Hurry, hurry, hurry.
[Blitzo then turns on the key repeatedly to get the engine started.]
Blitzo: Okay, c'mon, c'mon we got it.
[The camera shows the concerned Millie and Moxxie in the rearview mirror.]
Moxxie: Where are we going?
[Blitzo adjusted the rearview mirror to face him.]
Blitzo: Anywhere but here. *turns around to face behind* Get ready for a life on the run gang.
[The engines turn on, and Blitzo floors it. However, just like the previous episode, the distance was short, and the van ends up crashing into a light pole. Smoke steams out of the front, and a wheel plate cover rolls out.]
[The gang recovers with Moxxie glaring at Blitzo for his stupidity.]
Moxxie: I fucking hate you so much, Blitzo.
[As they recover, the Reapers then appear floating in front of them.]
Reaper: Freeze, criminals.
[The gang is surrounded by every demon law enforcement officer and Reapers armed to the teeth with guns cocking, and point at them.]
[A Reaper rips the front door open and roughly grabs Blitzo. They use magic to conjure handcuffs to chain the terrified Blitzo. They also conjured chains to restrain Moxxie and Millie, separating them. Loona is chained by the neck via a collar and her wrists are also handcuffed. A muzzle is conjured on her snout before Loona is dragged off-screen.]
[The scene then cuts to a dark room before the doors magically open to let the two Reapers escort the restrained Blitzo. They drag him across the path for them to follow to a stand in the spotlight.]
Blitzo: Come on, guys! This is- this all just one big misunderstanding. Uh, is this about the orphans? ‘Cause they were already sick to begin with.
[A thunderous stomp echoes in the room to show the legs of the standing highest authority of Hell and the standing ruler of the Seven Deadly Sins: Satan. The Reapers who escorted Blitzo disappear in an instant.]
Satan: SILENCE!
[Immense fear was shown in Blitzo's face as the camera shows a dark courtroom. The rest of the gang are shown in a floating stand next to Blitzo. More fire lights up the room from the bottom of the pots. A row of scales seep lava into the fire pots to light up the courtroom. The silhoutte of Satan glows under the darkness. Before the camera was covered by its massive wings before revealing himself.]
Satan: We are here to sentence the criminal imp, Blitzo.
[The camera shows all the Seven Deadly Sins at the high bench followed by the bottom ruling seat to the top ruling throne: bottom seat: Satan; second row: Leviathan and Mammon; third row: Asmodeus, Beelzebub, and Belphegor; and the highest throne: Lucifer Morningstar, who is absent for the trial.]
Blitzo: A-actually sir, the ‘o' is…
[Blitzo paused as Satan was coming closer to his face, snarling heavily. He snorts smoke to his face, and Blitzo cracks under him.]
Blitzo: Totally there! You nailed it, great job.
[Satan points at him. As he speaks, the cameras pans over from Seven Deadly Sins, minus Lucifer, to the jury, consisting of every royal demon of the Ars Goeta. Andrealphus comes into the picture, smiling deviously. Across from Andrealphus, Vassago was seen glaring. The gang was present, but Loona was still muffled.]
Satan: You and your crew are on trial for stealing a powerful Goetic heirloom for undocumented personal use in the mortal realm. How do you plead?
[Satan sits behind his own throne.]
[As Blitzo tries to explain, a demonic camera comes into the picture to record the trial.]
Blitzo: Oh, this is about the book? Ha! I didn't steal that thing! I mean I tried, right? But since when is attempting a crime illegal, am I right?
Moxxie: (strained) Always.
[Blitzo makes a one-eye glare at Moxxie to make him shut up while he is talking.]
Blitzo: Point is! It was given to me, okay? I was allowed to use it.
Andrealphus: LIES!! Your honor.
[Andrealphus takes the floor and uses his ice magic to conjure platform to let him slide toward Satan at the throne.]
Andrealphus: Speaking on behalf of my aggressively attractive sister: I must testify that this *points at Blitzo* BRUTEISH imp was forcing himself on her husband, Stolas, who, *conjures a ice platform to slide towards Blitzo* unlike a responsible and handsome Goetic demon such as myself, was too weak and ashamed to come forward about it. The poor thing.
[The camera gives a close-up to Blitzo, who was outraged by Andrealphus' false accusation against him]
Blitzo: WHAT?! Hey, I didn't force shit!
[A magical mouthguard was formed over Blitzo's mouth to shut him up. Blitzo struggles to get the mouthguard off while Andrealphus makes his case.]
Andrealphus: This vile, *smacks Blitzo back* hideous imp has put his kind to shame. Committing such hardened acts to GAIN THE UPPER HAND!
Moxxie: That isn't what happened!
[Satan enlarges himself and bears down at the puny imps.]
Satan: (distorted) SILENCE!!
[Smoke billows from his jaws as he snarls down at Moxxie, bearing huge amount of anger toward him. A demon, Yogirt, floats over to Satan's face and speaks with him.]
Yogirt: Um, Satan? Sorry. W- wh- what did we say about negative energies in our mind temple? Yeah, remember to take deeeep breaths.
[Satan takes a deep breath before exhaling, and finally calms down under his words. The camera shows a shaking Moxxie briefly. Satan makes gyan mudra with his fingers as he sits back to his throne.]
Satan: Right, yeah. *gestures* Continue.
Andrealphus: Ahem. I'd like to add, your honor, *conjures an ice stand to hover above the courtroom.* that in addition to his unspeakable acts with our dear, beloved Stolas-
[From a crowd, Vassago, an Avian Goetia demon, appears.]
Vassago: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Where is Stolas, anyway? Can't he speak on this himself? ¿Qué carajo? (What the Hell?)
[Andrealphus, irriated, turns to Vassago.]
Andrealphus: He…has not been informed of this trial.
[Vassago is outraged. He conjures his own magical stand shaped like a star and confronts Andrealphus.]
Vassago: ¿Qué? (What?) Why not?
[Vassago turns to the jury.]
Vassago: If this involves him, then he should be here, no? No puedo creer... (I can't believe...) We need to summon him at once.
Andrealphus: Okay, Vassago. Shut the fuck up.
[Vassago gets angry and pokes at his chest.]
Vassago: ¡NO me voy a callar, pendejo arrogante! (I will NOT shut up, you arrogant idiot!)
[The more Vassago talks the angrier Andrealphus gets, and he's had enough. Andrealphus flares his feathers to shut him down which didnt phase Vassago. As Andrealphus speaks, Vassago rolls his eyes then heads back to his seat.]
Andrealphus: Stella and I didn't want to put him through the trauma of facing his aggressor. Who, might I also add…dramatic pause… *points at Blitzo* PLOTTED TO HAVE HIM ASSASSINATED!
[The camera gives another close-up to Blitzo, again, outraged by Andrealphus.]
Blitzo: (Muffled) What?!
[Chains sprout out of nowhere to restrain Blitzo from going out of line and from the mouthguard to shut him up even more. He was so angry that he makes unheard muffled shouting behind his mouth.]
[Through Blitzo's muffled shouting and a ominous song being played, the jury was in total silence when they learned of this, and even Vassago was horrified of him.]
Vassago: Puta madre... (Motherfucker...)
[Asmodeus, Beelzebub, and Belphegor were in disbelief of this statement, and then Belphegor falls asleep.]
[Blitzo was still making muffled cursing at the jury. Moxxie speaks up to his defense.]
Moxxie: That wasn't him! We don't know who wanted Stolas dead, but it wasn't Blitzo!
Andrealphus: Oh? Well... Perhaps we should ask *snaps* The hitman! Himself!
[With a snap of his finger, a snake-rattling noise chatters, and a stand lifts up to reveal Striker. Striker, now with a white scar on his left eye, gives a sneer. Blitzo and Moxxie glare back at him in anger.]
Andrealphus: Who has agreed to give us his testimony in exchange for immunity.
Striker: It was him alright. Paid me to kill the precious Goetia to cover up what he was doing with the uhh…
[Striker becomes confused and checks his palm. In his palm, there are dozens of misspelled "grimoire" for his line to speak in the court. He squinted carefully to get the line right.]
Striker: Um...The um...Line?
Andrealphus: *coughing* The Grimoire!
Striker: Yeah, that.
[After a effortless struggle to get the chained muffler off, Blitzo finally gets it off his mouth and speaks in a very angered tone.]
Blitzo: Blagh! WHAT?! Look, I am an assassin, okay? If I wanted to kill Stolas, I WOULD'VE DONE IT MY-FUCKING-SELF!!
[Blitzo's declaration echoes in the courtroom. Upon his declaration, the crowd gasped in shock. Mammon stops playing around and heard what Blitzo said. Asmodeus and Beelzebub were flabbergasted that Blitzo rightfully admitted it in court. Even Vassago was horrified. Andrealphus smirks in satisfaction.]
[Moxxie was crying so hard he clings onto his wife with their fate being sealed.]
Moxxie: *Crying* We're gonna fucking die.
[Blitzo realized he screwed up badly in his testimony and tries to plea his mistake.]
Blitzo: Hang on, that's not what I meant, okay? I'm just saying I could've totally fucking killed Stolas myself. B-but I would never do tha-
[Before Blitzo could finish his sentence, the mouth guard was telepathically straightened up to cover Blitzo's mouth, making unable to speak again.]
Satan: What a disappointment.
Beelzebub: This is bullshit, guys. I've met this l'il imp dude before. He's a real wildcard, but he's a lot of fun and I think we should hear him out. It's pro'lly not a big deal.
Asmodeus: Yeah! I'm sure he has a good reason for all this.
Mammon: Oh shut up, you two.
[Camera pans over to Mammon.]
Mammon: We all know you enjoy slumming it with the lower class plebs. Unlike the rest of us, heh. Right, Levy? [Chuckling]
[Mammon elbows to Leviathan. Her right head looks uncomfortable with him, and scoops her seat over to get further away from him.]
[Asmodeus was going ballistic on Mammon, turning himself into his full demon form with flames ready to roast the jokester.]
Asmodeus: Oh, you wanna *turns into a demonic form* fucking go, Mam!?
[Beelzebub holds Asmodeus back before they can fight.]
Beelzebub: You're just pissy nobody wants to fuck with a flaming pile of clown shit. *conjures a ice-cream stick with the shape of a dildo* Also, suck a dick!
[She throws it at Mammon, but misses and hits his chair.]
Mammon: Why don't you buzz on back to your mutt, *flips off Beelzebub* bitch!
Beelzebub: Why don't you keep fucking yourself, ya big asshole!
[Satan has had enough of their bickering and decides to settle this.]
Satan: Why don't we take a vote. Who wants to listen to hours of testimony?
[Asmodeus and Beelzebub raises their hand to vote for a testimony for Blitzo, and spotlights shine on them to signify their vote. Moxxie and Millie raise their own hand to vote as well, and they turned to Loona. Despite her annoyance, Loona rolls her eyes and raise her hand to make a vote for a testimony, spotlights shine on them as well.]
Satan: Who wants to kill this imp bastard and get home for lunch?
[In a one-sided majority vote, the whole jury raised their hand and the spotlights shine on every single one of them, voting for kill Blitzo instead. Beelzebub was so disappointed at everyone that she flips at the jury before sitting down with Asmodeus, who is equally annoyed.]
Beelzebub: Oh fuck all 'a y'all.
Mammon: HAH! Suck it ya bloody [HONK]!
[In a fit of anger, Beelzebub conjures a ice-popsicle dick and throws it into Mammon's mouth, knocking him back.]
[Andrealphus makes a menacing chuckle at the vote, and conjures a ice platform to set stairs down at Blitzo.]
Andrealphus: You should've remained in your place, imp. You see, this is what happens when lesser demons try to step out of line.
[Andrealphus steps his heels on Blitzo's forehead before disappearing in a whish of mist. With the jury decided, Satan makes his sentencing. The chains around Blitzo disappears as he moves the frost from Andrealphus away. Striker tips his hat to the courtroom, sumgly, as his platform descends back into the floor. Vassago watches from the balcony while tapping his finger on the rail, believing that something didn't feel right.]
Satan: For the treacherous crime of stealing a Goetia's grimoire for illegal use, bringing harm to a Goetic prince, and accessing the mortal coil without clearance or procedure: you, Blitzo, and your crew, are hereby sentenced... [speaks in a very deep ominous tone] TO DEATH.
[Upon hearing the sentencing, the whole gang were horrified of their fates. Loona, Millie, and Moxxie are stunned in disbelief. Blitzo was very broken when he is fated to be executed. His eyes are shown with sadness.]
Mammon: Hey, Levy! After we celebrate this imps' death, let's go out, huh? Out on the town, what do you reckon?
[Leviathan's left head seems to be interested about the idea, while her right head is disgusted by it.]
Satan: And due to your bold actions against the laws of Hell, your execution will be broadcasted across the Seven Rings. To remind all of imp-kind why our power must never be challenged again.
[In addition to the execution, Satan conjures cameras for all of Hell to witness the execution live. All over Hell, every Imp, at the time just doing their daily chores and activity, witness their televisions magically being turned on to air the execution. Everyone, including Verosika Mayday, Wally Wackford, and Fizzarolli, are watching the live broadcast. Fizzarolli was so shocked that he grabs his phone to text Asmodeus.
[At the courtoom, Asmodeus receives Fizzarolli's texts that said, "OMFS", "Ozzie", "DO SOMTH", and etc. Asmodeus can't do anything as the sentencing was already decided, and Satan had the final say, so all he can do is look on with a somber expression.]
[The court stand where Blitzo was at suddenly turns into an execution block. Blitzo frantically tries to remove the mouthguard as the Reapers appear behind him and the rest of the gang. As they grab onto them, Blitzo successfully removes the mouthguard piece.]
Blitzo: NO! Not them, Your Highness! It was me, it was all me, okay? Y-you can't expect to teach anyone a lesson by killing all of us!
[Satan was so infuriated that just him standing up caused a thunderous quake, frightening the demons. He gets up and personal to Blitzo, bearing down his anger at him for telling him how to do a punishment.]
Satan: You dare try to tell me how to PUNISH!?
Yogirt: Uh, Satan! Heh, sorry. You know what, today is an amethyst and you're acting kind of ruby. Yeah? Try some meditatioooon, re-align your chakraaaas.
Blitzo: Look, all that Hell is gonna see is you executing imps who are just trying to do their job! I'm the rogue here, not them!
[Moxxie shoves away from the Reaper holding him.]
Moxxie: Blitzo, what are you doing?
Satan: *Sighs* Fine.
[Satan sits back at his throne.]
Satan: I suppose I created imp-kind to be obedient, I see no reason to punish the dutiful. Just axe the mouthy one.
Blitzo: Oh shit, I did not see that coming, look I'm sorry Mox, I did everything I could-
Moxxie: You know he means you, right?
[Blitzo was confused of what Moxxie was talking about. He then heard the Reaper growling and felt the Reaper's hand on his shoulder, realizing that Moxxie was actually referring to him. Deadpanned, Blitzo curses at himself.]
Blitzo: Fuck me.
(Meanwhile, Stolas channel surfs at his mansion between "Hell-a-Novela S2" and a Wacky Charms commercial. He then stumbles upon the execution and almost chokes on his beverage. He knows immediately what must be done.)
Stolas: Oh, my Lucifer! What are they doing?
(Back in the courtroom, Blitzo is just about to be executed. A Reaper takes the chains off of Blitzo's body. Blitzo then looks at the rest of I.M.P)
Satan: Do you have any final words? We'll pretend to care.
Blitzo: All I was trying to do was rise above this stupid fucking place YOU ALL FORCED US INTO!
Moxxie: Your Highness, please. Blitzo just--
Blitzo: Moxxie, stop.
Moxxie: Blitzo, I can't let you--
Blitzo: This big red bitch never planned on hearing us out.
[The camera pans from the couple up to Loona, who was looking at Blitzo with glossy eyes over losing her father.]
Blitzo: Just... just take care of Loona for me.
[Moxxie starts to tear up in disbelief. He holds onto his wife and turns his face away.]
Moxxie: *crying* No! I can't look, Millie...
[A bunch of chains surround Blitzo's body, holding him by the neck as he was forced to the chopping block. The Reaper conjures an axe in his hand to kill Blitzo with. Its eyes glow an ominous flaming red. He raises it, Moxxie and Millie hold on to each other with tears in their eyes as Blitzo accepts his fate. Loona starts to tear up and whimpers like a dog, turning her head away from the gruesome scene. As Blitzo takes one last look at Millie, who looks at him. He too starts to cry and smiles .]
Blitzo: I love you guys.
[With that, the Reaper brings the axe down with a loud chop.]
[Everyone in Hell gasps upon seeing this. Andrealphus smiles wickedly as a single feather lands on Blitzo's body.]
Yogirt: *gasps* Oh my holy heck.
[Right in the nick of time, Stolas has entered the courtroom, preventing Blitzo from being executed. He lifts the axe with all his might using his magic. At the same time, Blitzo was accidentally being smushed by Stolas' butt up close.]
Blitzo: Ugh! Stolas! Get your ass outta my face!
[Satan was outraged by Stolas' intervention, grabbing Yogirt roughly like a squeeze toy.]
Satan: *grabs Yogirt* What in LUCIFER'S HELL IS THIS?!
Stolas: I am about to explain everything!
[Stolas breaks away from the Reaper executioner and uses magic to undo the chains binding Blitzo.]
Stolas: In the only way I know how... song!
[Blitzo slumps his face down on the Execution block, and Stolas hears Vassago cheering]
Vassago: YES! Yes! Cántalo (sing it) baby!
[Satan sits back in his throne, letting go of Yogirt as Stolas begins to sing his song.]
Stolas: ♪ I came down just as soon as I heard of the imp ♪
♪ Stood accused of a devilish crime ♪
[Stolas conjures standing platforms as stairs with his magic.]
♪ Could it be that a worm such as this half a brain ♪
♪ Could concoct such a plot so sublime? ♪
♪ Does this fool deserve the flame? ♪
♪ Or is someone else to blame? ♪
Like who, you ask?
♪ Some kind of mastermind ♪
♪ A mind behind the plan! ♪
[Stolas conjures himself in one of the jury's stands.]
♪ Some villain's grand design ♪
♪ To use the book ♪
♪ To breach the world of man! ♪
[Mammon, who was annoyed as listening to Stolas, was busy playing with block letters when Stolas smacks them away, and eyes suspiciously at Mammon.]
♪ Could he be roaming free? ♪
[Stolas moves around Leviathan.]
♪ Scheming more mastermindery? ♪
[Stolas shadows up over to Asmodeus before moving around to Beelzebub before conjuring his demon form to fly back to Blitzo.]
♪ Will he rest?
♪ Who knows what he may unleash ♪
♪ Next, do you execute this little wretch? ♪
♪ Pat yourself on the back, close the case ♪
♪ Let this imp take the blame, take the fame ♪
♪ Let his name light a fire in the hearts of his race! ♪
♪ Why it's more than I can bare ♪
♪ I must make all of Hell aware! ♪
Fuck it!
♪ I am the mastermind, the hand that holds the strings! ♪
[Satan hears Stolas' claim, making him flare his massive wings as he leans forward in his throne]
♪ No simple imp of mine could master the disaster ♪
♪ Oh it stings! ♪
♪ That you thought ♪
♪ You had caught the schemer of the schemes I wrought! ♪
♪ I confess! ♪
♪ It was me and I have no regrets! ♪
[With one spin of his cape, Stolas conjures himself and Blitzo into a star realm with no one but the two of them.]
♪ I have regrets ♪
♪ Why am I throwing my freedom away ♪
♪ For this idiot? ♪
Blitzo: ♪ What have you done? ♪
Stolas: ♪ I would rather be dead ♪
Blitzo and Stolas: ♪ I can't/Than live life without you by my side ♪
Stolas: ♪ So if it keeps you alive! ♪
Blitzo: ♪ What are you doing, I don't deserve this! ♪
Stolas: ♪ I am the mastermind, the master of my fate! ♪
Blitzo: ♪ I realized too late! ♪
Stolas: ♪ Sure as the stars have shined ♪
Blitzo and Stolas: ♪ Don't give your life/I'll give my life to clean my/your slate! ♪
Stolas: ♪ You're my light ♪
Blitzo: ♪ You're my heart ♪
Blitzo and Stolas: ♪ Only death can rend our love apart! ♪
[Upon Stolas and Blitzo finishing their line, Satan suddenly laughs darkly with amusement. The realm fades back into the courtroom]
Satan: *Laughs* Well, isn't that adorable?
We have been betrayed by one of our own. A Goetic demon.
Your hubris has gotten the better of you, Prince Stolas.
[Satan starts to make his appearance and stands up. With every step he makes, Satan cracks the steps.]
♪ I am the mastermind, and here I am the law (Deadly Sins: He is the law) ♪
Satan: ♪ I've ruled the endless dark ♪
♪ Since long before the golden angel's fall. ♪
[Satan conjures a flame silhouette of Lucifer when he was still an angel before crushing it with his hands. At Lucifer's empty throne, there was a note that said, "BRB. 5 Min." One of his rubber ducks was placed to be a reminder, but the note was old and covered in cobwebs, indicating that he hadn't been in the throne for a long time. Asmodeus and Beelzebub exchange looks and rolled their eyes over Satan's boasting since they both know who's really in charge of Hell.]
♪ So you see ♪ *Satan's eyes flames up*
♪ Next to me, your master plans all look so small ♪
[Satan's presence was strong enough to create explosions in the courtroom, nearly making Stolas fall. Flames shoot up in front of him before Satan was large enough to look down on Stolas' puny figure.]
♪ Little mice ♪
♪ When you break my rules ♪
♪ You pay the price! ♪
[With the end of the note, chains spring up from the gallows and captures Stolas, binding him to the ground. Satan takes his seat and points at Blitzo and his crew.]
Satan: Release the pawn!
[The chains around Blitzo disappears, but Stolas remain steadfast to his fate.
Satan: Stolas of the Ars Goetia, (speaks in ominous tone) you are a disgrace.
[Blitzo fears for Stolas and runs over to him, grabbing his cape to pull him back.]
Blitzo: No! No, th-Stolas, you- you can't! You can't do this!
[Stolas makes one glance behind to Blitzo before facing forward.]
Blitzo: Stolas please!
[Two Reapers appear and then grabs Blitzo. They drag him away from Stolas and Blitzo struggles to break free.]
Blitzo: Get the FUCK off me!
[Blitzo breaks free and tries to run back, but this time, the Reapers conjured a chain to catch Blitzo. His wrists are bound again, and he was dragged out of the courtroom.]
Blitzo: Stolas! STOLAS!! Stolas! Fucking-use your powers, do something! Stolas!
[Blitzo was thrown out of the courtroom, his chains undone.]
Blitzo: Ah, let me back in!
[Blitzo looks up and makes break for the entrance, but the doors shut before he can reenter. He pulls the doors open to no vail.]
Blitzo: WOW, this is a sturdy door!
[Blitzo tries to punch it, but he hits it so hard he breaks his own wrist.]
Blitzo: OW! My supple wrist!
[Blitzo breaks down crying. The rest of I.M.P were also kicked out of the courtroom, but they didn't care. They were just glad they're alive, and Blitzo is okay. However, they were also crying, so saddened by their fates being spared in exchange for Stolas'. They bring Blitzo into a group hug.]
Moxxie: (sobbing) Sir, sir-
Loona: (sobbing) Dad!
Moxxie: (sobbing) You're here.
Millie: (sobbing) Don't you ever do that to me again, you fucking idiot!
[Blitzo was in tears, shocked of what happened to Stolas. He was unable to recuperate, devastated over the loss of Stolas.]
[The Goetia prince then gets down on his knees, and with a heavy heart, rests his neck down on the Executioner's block. Back in his mansion, Octavia watches in horror, before heading to the door, only to be stopped by Stella. Octavia stares at her mother in horror, who then opens her arms and hugs her daughter. Octavia then starts to cry, closing her eyes as she hugs Stella, making twittering sounds of a sad bird. Unbeknownst to her, Stella reveals a wicked smirk, satisfied that Octavia is finally hers now.]
[Back with Stolas, he awaits his death, while Satan just stares, confused.]
Satan: Uhhh...What're you doin'?
[Stolas opens his eyes in surprise, and confusion by that question.]
Stolas: Um... *stands up* I mean...aren't you going to....you know...
[Stolas slides a finger across his throat.]
Stolas: Execute me?
Satan: Hah! Aw no, 'course not. You are a Goetia.
Stolas: But I... committed a heinous crime!
Satan: Yeah you did. But, you are demon royalty sooo... your life has actual worth.
Stolas: So... uh… can I...*points to door* can I go then?
[Satan then starts laughing for a moment, holding his legs, before turning serious again.]
Satan: No. Ooh, ooh. No, no. You still definitely fucked up, we just need to figure out a fitting punishment for you.
[Andrealphus comes into the picture to make a suggestion that is befitting for Stolas.]
Andrealphus: Might I suggest something, Your Majesty?
[Andrealphus makes a ice platform to slide down to Stolas.]
Andrealphus: I think you should banish this shameful excuse for a prince *touches the chains to remove them* and allow someone else to take over his legions. Considering the heir isn't yet of age, I'd be happy to volunteer. After all, I'm basically everything he is but, ahem, NOT! A deviant piece of shit.
Satan: Yeah that works.
[Satan then gets serious, snarling with smoke billowing from his jaws.]
Satan: STOLAS! I hereby strip you of your status, your power, and your title;
[With one hand, Satan raised a ancient set of golden rings with demonic hieroglyphs dating back to when Lucifer became fallen. Stolas looks on in horror as Andrealphus was gleefully happy.]
Andrealphus: Yeees! Yeeesss! YEEESSSS!!
[Andrealphus was getting turned on so much he ripped his coat off.]
Satan: For the next hundred years.
[Stolas was looking on horrified, but Andrealphus was outraged that the sentencing was not even harsh enough to satisfy him.]
Andrealphus: Oh motherfuck! Seriously?!
[Crimson lightning crackles from the rings as they surround Stolas. Satan uses his magic to strike Stolas with the lightning, and then lifts them up as the lightning takes away everything from Stolas. Crimson lightning strikes Stolas from the eyes, stripping him of his own royal status. When the process is done, the lightning ceased, and Stolas falls down on the head block.]
Satan: You will have to live amongst the citizens of Hell and revel in your failings!
[Stolas, still weak and feeble, still manages to lift his head and looks at Satan pleadingly.]
Stolas: [weakly] But, what about my daughter?
[The rings reassemble themselves and is being lowered back to where they came from. Andrealphus comes to the scene.]
Andrealphus: She'll be safe and sound...With her mother. The wholesome parent.
Satan: I guess that settles it. *Clears throat and claps his hand* Court's adjourned, time for lunch!
[Relieved that the trial is over Mammon celebrates by getting his favorite food: a bucket of green chicken drums and tenders.]
Mammon: Yeah!! It's fucking lunch time!
[Mammon slams his face on the food and gobbles it all up on a wild rockstar frenzy. Some of the spectators were cheering him on. Asmodeus and Beelzebub looked on in disgust. Beelzebub looks on Stolas with worry.]
[The Reapers picks up the weakened Stolas by his arms, as Andrealphus approaches, stepping on Stolas' hat, to gloat at him one last time.]
Andrealphus: Buh-bye Stolas. Enjoy horny jail.
[The scene cuts back to I.M.P who were still outside in the courtroom. Blitzo was still trying to get inside, but the doors wouldn't budge.]
Blitzo: YOU! Uh, urgh-YOU OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT-AHH!
[Just then, the doors opened, revealing the weak Stolas and the Reapers. They throw Stolas out, making him grunt after being depowered before the doors closed again.]
Blitzo: Stolas? What happened in there?
[Stolas slowly recovers, but he looked broken. He turns to Blitzo.]
Stolas: I… have been banish-ed-
[Stolas was then hit by a coffee drink. Blitzo turns to see an imp janitor flipping him off.]
Imp Janitor: You suck, Stolas!
Blitzo: Hey! *flips him off back* Fuck off, fuck-o!
Stolas: No, it's fine, Blitzo. *stands up* I'm okay.
Blitzo: You need a ride home.
Stolas: I… have no home now. Everything I have is gone.
[The I.M.P looked at Stolas with sympathy. They understand now that Stolas is no longer a royalty, meaning he's lost everything he had when he was a prince. Blitzo holds his hand.]
Blitzo: Look, come with me, alright? Let's get you out of here, n' you'll need a place to stay.
[Blitzo takes Stolas' hand and walks him out of the courtroom with I.M.P following behind somberly.]
[Outside of the courthouse where Moxxie and Millie call in a taxi to take them home. Moxxie has the door open for Millie to enter through, followed by Moxxie.]
Millie: Yeaaah, let's not do that again.
[Moxxie looked at Stolas, Blitzo, and Loona with an unhappy expression after almost losing his life and Millie before he waves at them goodbye. Blitzo waves back as the taxi leaves.]
[Now, Blitzo and Loona takes Stolas to their apartment to stay in, since he has nowhere else to go. As they walk down the sideway, they can hear the cheers of thousands of Imps in the city. Blitzo looked up and saw them holding signs saying "We love Blitzo!" with the O obstructed. Blitzo waves at them, smiling nervously.]
Blitzo: Ah. Thank you everyone, thank you.
[As they walk past the cheering audience, Stolas was being thrown at with garbage, dung, and was poured with green garbage liquid waste. Blitzo comes to his defense.]
Blitzo: Gracias. But- okay- the- the throwing? Not necessary, heh, 'kay? Thank you.
[The scene cuts to the inside of Blitzo and Loona's apartment. Loona opens the door and turns on the lights. Blitzo lets Stolas inside. Stolas seemed perplexed by Blitzo and Loona's place. He looked at the many pictures of them together, Loona's adoption certificate, and a picture of Barbie Wire with Blitzo's face scribbled out when they were young. Stolas hits one of the ceiling fans and places it up before looking at Loona and Blitzo.]
[Loona places the van keys on the counter.]
Loona: Hey, um. I'm so glad you're okay.
[Relieved that her father is alive, Loona bends and hugs Blitzo. In return, he hugs her back.]
Loona: I love you, dad.
[With that, Loona breaks away to go into her room. Upon seeing Blitzo and Loona hugging, Stolas was saddened of how much they have each other when he will never get to have that kind of experience with his own daughter again. The scene transitions to the bathroom where Stolas still has that solemn stare as he was getting washed and cleaned by Blitzo. He squeezes a sponge and washes Stolas.]
Blitzo: Here we go, here we go.
[Stolas flaps his lips.]
Blitzo: Here you are. Some nice agua.
[Blitzo hears the door knocking, and comes to open it, showing Loona with a neat fold of clothes for Stolas. She smiles and Blitzo takes them. When he turns, he saw Stolas' head drowning in the water, still devastated from his banishment.]
Blitzo: Oop! Try not to inhale the water. *closes the door, but opens again* Yeah, try not inhaling the water. *closes the door again*
[Stolas makes a heavy sign of his depression.]
[While Stolas was cleaning himself, Blitzo checks his phone and sees the bulletin news of I.M.P surviving their trial against the Seven Deadly Sins, which earns them a spectacular reputation. He scrolls to the right and sees a lot of messages from many imps who want to work for I.M.P. Blitzo smiles at his newfound fame when he sees the messages.]
[The bathroom door opens, and Stolas comes out, all cleaned up, and wearing Loona's sweater. He walks over to the couch and lies down with Blitzo helping. Once he is settled, Stolas turns to Blitzo who was getting a blanket to cover him.]
Stolas: Thank you, Blitzo.
Blitzo: Thank you, Stolas. For saving my life.
Stolas: Always.
[Blitzo was uncertain of what else he wanted to say. He crosses his arms and turns around to process. After some thought, he turns back to Stolas.]
Blitzo: Hey, Stolas I-
[Blitzo paused when he notices Stolas was already sleeping. He chuckles, blushes and kisses him on the cheek. Blitzo lies back against his beanbag chair and looks outside to see fireworks exploding in celebration of I.M.P. Outside of his apartment, there are banners that demons posted to celebrate for I.M.P and Blitzo for their valiant survival. Blitzo looks on as the fireworks explodes across Imp City and the episode ends.]
v • e Transcripts | ||
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Hazbin Hotel | Helluva Boss | |
Pilot | That's Entertainment | Helluva Boss pilot |
Season 1 (HH • HB) |
Overture • Radio Killed the Video Star • Scrambled Eggs • Masquerade • Dad Beat Dad • Welcome to Heaven • Hello Rosie! • The Show Must Go On | Murder Family • Loo Loo Land • Spring Broken • C.H.E.R.U.B • The Harvest Moon Festival • Truth Seekers • Ozzie's • Queen Bee |
Season 2 (HH • HB) |
TBA | The Circus • Seeing Stars • Exes and Oohs • Western Energy • Unhappy Campers • Oops • MAMMON'S MAGNIFICENT MUSICAL MID-SEASON SPECIAL (ft Fizzarolli) • The Full Moon • Apology Tour • Ghostf**kers • Mastermind • Sinsmas |
Season 3 (HH • HB) |
TBA | TBA |
Season 4 (HH • HB) |
TBA | TBA |
Shorts (HB) |
N/A | Hell's Belles • Mission: Antarctica • Mission: Weeaboo-boo • Mission: Chupacabras |