Hazbin Hotel Wiki

The first season of Hazbin Hotel is available for streaming. As this wiki contains spoilers for the series premiere, pages will be marked as such. For Discussions, be sure to post spoilers only in the HH & HB Discussions category. Read at your own risk.

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Hazbin Hotel Wiki

This is a transcribed copy of iconic quotes by Valentino. Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the respective episodes.

Hazbin Hotel comics[]

"Dirty Healings"[]

"So, tell me, Angel Cakes. What the fuck was that?"
―Valentino, after witnessing Angel commit mass murder against the dealers
"Angel, Angel, Angel, baby. What have I told you countless times, sweetheart? Regarding you, work, and my affairs?"
―Valentino, to Angel
"I THINK. You can get out right here-- stand on this corner, and make up the time you missed filming."
―Valentino, threatening Angel Dust

Hazbin Hotel Season 1[]

"Radio Killed the Video Star"[]

"Fucking bitch!"
―Valentino, while he wrecks Velvette's fashion department
"Fucking FINALLY! Kitty, another drink!"
―Valentino, upon seeing Vox
"Can you believe what that piece of shit did? The ungrateful whore!"
―Valentino, to Vox
"Fucking Angel Dust! Who the hell else would I be talking about? That fucking slut walked out on me. ME. I fucking made him! Without me, he's just a bag of meat with some mildly entertaining holes."
―Valentino, ranting about Angel Dust to Vox
"No, he didn't fucking quit. It's worse. He MOVED! He thinks he can just walk in, work, and then go home somewhere else. Can you FUCKING believe that?! He thinks he can run off and shack up with Lucifer's bimbo daughter?"
―Valentino, to Vox about Angel
"Yeah, that bitch, Chalkie, or Chandler, or - I don't know, something mannish like that. She's got this hotel and-- which of these makes me look sexier?"
―Valentino, to Vox, about Charlie and his guns
"That slippery twink is going to remember who owns him. I'm going to fuck everyone in that rancid shithole, I swear to God--"
―Valentino, preparing to go shoot up the Hotel
"But I really wanted to shoot someone!"
―Valentino, to Vox
"Oh, you know me too well."
―Valentino, to Vox, after he promises to get some people for him to shoot
"You know, Angel isn't the only one spending time at this ratty hotel with the devil's princessa."
―Valentino, to Vox
"Someone who owes us much more than money. The Radio Demon is there."
―Valentino, to Vox, about Alastor
"Hey, killing Alastor is your kink."
―Valentino, to Vox
"See? Look at how he flirts with that guy, and he's not even paying! Who is that? I'm gonna fucking kill his whole fucking family!"
―Valentino, watching Angel
"Put something inside them. That's how I get the bitches to behave."
―Valentino, discussing with Vox and Velvette on how to stop Alastor from making a deal with Charlie
"That lanky prick won't even return my calls."
―Valentino, to Vox, about Angel Dust
"I employ every down on their luck loser this side of Hell. Who the fuck is left?"
―Valentino, to Vox
"ANGEL, YOU BITCH!! If you don’t come home, you will be fucking greasy truckers for the next year—-"
―Valentino, Angel.


"Masquerade"[]

"Just improv it! Do you think anyone watches for the dialogue? Action!"
―Valentino, to Angel after he can't remember his lines
"Welcome to my humble sex dungeon. What can I do for such a...mmm!"
―Valentino, greeting Charlie
"Lovely specimen! You don't want a role, do you? Because I could make you a star. Make us both richer than, well...your papito--"
―Valentino, to Charlie
"You really think you can have Lucifer’s little BITCH fight your battles for you? You bring her here to protect you? To FUCK with me? You think she can get you out of work?"
―Valentino, to Angel after Charlie makes an accident in his studio
"When I say “come”, you say? […] When I say “you are fucking 20 guys before lunch”, you say? […] When I say “you better get that fucking CUNT out of my STUDIO”, you say? […] YOU SAY?"
―Valentino, to Angel
"I have KILLED bitches for less than this attitude you’re giving me! You’re LUCKY you make me money! Now, you’re going to go get rid of her, and then you’re filming ALL NIGHT! Get me?!?"
―Valentino, telling Angel to get rid of Charlie
"Good Boy. […] Now... Action."
―Valentino, to Angel, after charlie leaves, and as Poison begins playing


"Welcome to Heaven"[]

"Yeah, I'm here all the time, they know me. You're gorgeous...do you need a job? How many dicks can you suck? Ooh, I could make you a star. Yeah, a star. Porn star. Okay, yup, bring me another drink or I'll fucking kill you. I said I'll fucking kill you! And I will."
―Valentino, flirting at a club
"Holy shit, Angel Dust? What are you doing here, baby? You didn't get enough dick today?"
―Valentino, upon seeing Angel in the club
"Eh, weird, but there's a kink for that, I'm sure!"
―Valentino, after Niffty attempts to bite him
"Enjoy the rest of your night, bitch, because I'm going to enjoy making you pay for it tomorrow."
―Valentino, threatening Angel Dust


"The Show Must Go On"[]

"Well, this just got interesting."
―Valentino, when watching Lucifer confront Adam
"♪ While the rest of Hell’s pissing, ♪"
―Valentino, singing with Vox during “Finale”.
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